Teen Mom 2: "One Step Back"

Wow! I guess MTV has a few children of the '80s on staff, what with the title of this episode being a continuation of last week's Paula Abdul reference. And an ode to Paula Abdul is pretty much the only explanation for the episode's name because, unless I need my head checked, it appeared to me that most of the Moms were moving forward this week. Title discrepancies aside, this was the second-to-last hour of the season, but it feels like just yesterday that Aubree, Jace, Ali, Aleeah, and Isaac were just a twinkle in the girls' prepubescent, pre-MTV lives. My, how time flies when you're a Teen Mom!

The Good:

• Social Services. I'm actually shocked that Social Services would take it upon themselves to prosecute Adam for his unpaid child support, but it's a good kind of shock. I would love to see Adam go to jail and have a big, hairy man named Bubba wipe that smile right off his smug little face.

• Chelsea. Okay, girl still can't get the whole "studying" thing down, but she's done a complete 180 when it comes to her relationship dependency. Maybe the Lady Gaga concert was more than just an opportunity to tease her hair and wear a sparkly outfit. It seems that Chelsea may have actually taken some of the lyrics to heart. Next thing you know, she's going to be asking Jenelle to borrow her "Free Bitch" bracelet.

• Leah. I'm actually starting to wish I was Leah. She's super skinny after having twins, she occasionally has cute hair, and she makes a darn good lemonade with all the lemons life is throwing at her. I'll admit it - I shed a few tears when she said that she would still change Ali's diapers at age 50, if need be. I am planning on training my dogs to change my children's diapers, so imagine how selfless it is of a teen mom to say such a thing. Seriously, though, it breaks my heart that that is even a consideration for her, and it's also just so impressive to see the unconditional love she has for her child.

The Bad:

• Adam's new girlfriend. I really hope this girl is just using him to get her 15 minutes of fame, because I can see no other reason any person in her right mind would go anywhere near this sorry excuse for a man. They say there's an ass for every seat, but I guess there's also a girl for every ass.

• Kailyn's money-management skills. How does Kail still have no cash? All this talk of working two jobs, and she still has to have her mom pay to file the custody papers. She's not paying rent, so where is all the money going? I hate to say it, but I think Jo was right when he said she couldn't afford to live on her own. That doesn't mean she should have moved in with him, but she either needs to take a personal finance class or figure out how to rearrange her life so that she's a little more self-sufficient.

The Ugly:

• Jenelle. I'm wondering if maybe Jenelle's old boss would consider adopting her. It's a long shot, I know, but she needs a parent who will give her a stern talking-to, and his take-no-crap attitude when she tried to "clarify" her disappearance from work is just what the Doctor (Drew) ordered. It's a sad truth that Jenelle and Barbara's relationship is a never-ending cycle of use and abuse. Jenelle takes and takes, then has the misguided idea that somehow it's never her fault when things fall apart. Someone please give this reality star a reality check, stat!

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Do you ever feel bad for the MTV camera crew who has to risk their lives daily by driving in a car with Kieffer and Jenelle? I guarantee they drive while they're high, but I wouldn't want to sit in the backseat with Jenelle at the wheel even when she's not under the influence.

Quotable Quotes:

• "While you and Kieffer are having a la-di-da time, I'm busting my balls trying to g*ddamn survive on barely more than minimum wage!" I knew Barb was actually a man! No, seriously, you tell her, Bob -- I mean, Barb!