Glee: "Sexy"

In the words of Salt 'N Pepa, let's talk about sex, baby*. Since Glee just can't resist the hot topics, we were treated (?) to an episode where we got "the ditty on the dirty." I knew the sexisode was coming, so I braced myself for yet another hour of grimacing and shaking my head, but, I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised with the results of Glee getting its sexy back**.

The Good:

• Burt. How much does Mike O'Malley get paid per episode? Whatever it is, I vote we pay him that amount per word. Some day, when Kurt graduates from high school or the Hellmouth opens and absorbs McKinley High (wait, wrong show), I will passionately petition for a spin-off starring The Hummels.

• What Burt said. I don't just love Burt's character for his hat-wearing, putting-Blaine-in-his-place ways. I actually really appreciated the inclusion of his sex talk with Kurt, and I think it helped a lot with my position on the episode as a whole. My opinions on sex & love tend to be in line with Kurt's (I've tried watching those movies, but I just get horribly depressed and I think about how they were all kids once and they all have mothers and, god, what would their mothers think and why would you get that tattoo there?) so I was afraid of what questionable values Glee would try to enforce on us this week. However, if you take away the polar extremes of the utterly ridiculous celibacy club and the free-loving Holly Holliday, I think what Burt said to Kurt is a perfectly happy medium. From Jersey Shore and their smushing to CSI and its portrayal of "rainbow parties," a lot of the media would have us believe that sex is rampant among teenagers. And while I'm not going to contend that kids aren't doing it, I can only hope that one day, when I have a teenager, I can convey to them the message that Burt tried to get across to Kurt -- yes, sex is fun, but it makes you vulnerable and it matters. You matter. The mechanics and the risks are explained just fine by a pamphlet, but what I want my kids to know is that dignity and self-respect are a big part of the equation, too. I'm already planning on buying the Season 2 DVDs so I can pop them in, in 20-odd years and let old B.H. tell my children about the birds and the bees. We'll still be using DVDs in 2031, right?

• Santana. I really like that we've been seeing a different side of Santana this year. She's super hot and super bitchy, but the girl has a softer side, and I, for one, like it. Her locker conversation with Brittany was another one of those moments where I'm glad I haven't given up on this show. What I want to know is this: are the writers the same on every episode of Glee? Because whoever wrote this one should keep it up. It is possible for Glee to be both entertaining and meaningful. It may be rare, but when they get it right, they get it right.

The Bad:

• Emma. Can someone please remind this twerp that she is married to Uncle Jesse? Emma's ultraconservative, germophobic ways are no longer cute. They're just ultra-annoying. Maybe Sue will push her down the stairs in a quest to become McKinley's new guidance counselor. We can only hope.

• Brittany. At the conclusion of their "Landslide" performance, Brittany looked at Santana and asked, "Is that really how you feel?" So you mean to tell me that the girl who thinks babies come from storks and gets confused over the most important meal of the day somehow understood the garbled message in a song originally written from a daughter to a father? Not buying it.

• PLauren/Luck. Whatever you want to call them, I am sick of this couple. I might be weight-ist, I don't know. I'm just struggling with the sheer impossibility that such a couple would ever exist for longer than a millisecond. Maybe it would be more believable if Mark Salling was a better actor, but I get the feeling that he wants to gag every time he has to share so much as a romantic glance with Ashley Fink. You can have all the witty banter in the world, but if the on-screen chemistry is lacking, the next Ross & Rachel you are not.

• Gross underestimations. Will remarked that he had seen how a teenage pregnancy can turn someone's world upside down. Um, he isn't talking about Quinn's pregnancy, right? Because in that case, Glee would have us believe that labor is over and done with before you can say "Freddie Mercury," and you can subsequently give your baby up for adoption, drop the pregnancy pounds and regain your spot as head cheerleader without ever giving it a second thought. I wouldn't exactly call that "turning someone's world upside down."

The Ugly:

• Quinn. I guess now that Santana has a heart, someone has to take the spot of Supreme Bitch, and apparently Quinn is next in line for the crown. But it's not just the character or her unfortunate storylines that are bothering me; I can't stand Dianna Agron's voice! Not every line has to be delivered with a breathy, sexy tone...even if this is the sex episode!

• The Warblers. Despite their ability to breakdance in a bubble storm, the Warblers are so unimpressive to me. Every song they sing is just an auto-tuned, Kids Bop type version of the Billboard flavor of the moment. I'm guessing these performances help Glee's presence on the iTunes charts, but I think the show is at its best when they stay far away from the auto-tune dial.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Kurt's "sexy" dancing reminded me of Billy Crystal in "When Harry Met Sally"

Quotable Quotes:

• "My sex tape with J.D. Sallinger was a disaster."

What are your thoughts & opinions on "Sexy"?

*How was this song not in the episode?
**How was this song not in the episode?