Teen Mom 2: Finale

As the curtains closed on the first season of Teen Mom 2, we were reminded that old habits die hard and old dogs can't always learn new tricks. Though one of our Moms showed some growth this season, one didn't really need much growth and the other two just stayed true to their ways.

Since this was the last real episode aside from the Dr. Drew after-school special, I'd like to give each of the girls a "grade" for their performance throughout the show, rather than breaking it down into the more episode-specific Good, Bad and Ugly.

The Good:

• Leah. Leah has been and still remains the most centered Mom on the show. I don't mind that MTV is giving her attention because she's a positive role model and doesn't seem to be letting the show go to her head. As I've said before, I think the support structure that Leah has in her family has a lot to do with her being so well-adjusted, but even good families can have bad seeds, and Leah definitely isn't one of them. The season culminated in her taking a leap of faith into a marriage that will hopefully last a lifetime (unless, of course, she has to take Corey "for poorer," which is apparently a hilarious concept). Leah has got a good head on her shoulders, and as long as she keeps up the way she has been, it looks like sunny skies ahead for this Teen Mom.
• Chelsea. And Teen Mom 2's "Most Improved Award" goes to....Chelsea [BLEEP]. MTV is so protective of its stars' last names, but for what reason, I'm not sure. It's not like it's hard to find them on Google or if you stand in the line at the grocery store without wearing a blindfold. But regardless of Chelsea's mystery surname, she has changed for the better since crying on the toilet toward the beginning of the season. She still has a long way to go, what with the amount she still relies on her dad for just about everything, but the important part is that she seems to be free and clear of the nasty Adam virus. Now all that's left is for Chelsea to buckle her seat belt and head down the road to a high school diploma.

The Bad:

• Kailyn. I know Kailyn works hard and has the right goals in mind, but I think a lot of her decisions are selfish and not made with Isaac's best interest at heart. I still can't figure out why she likes Jordan. I know it can't be his killer Spanish skills or his ways with the baby, so I think it's more out of a need to feel liked by someone. If Jo is going to act like a moron, then Kail has to find a way to fill her love tank elsewhere, to borrow a phrase from another of my favorite reality shows. It also really bothers me that, during her fight with Jo at mediation, she said to Isaac, "your dad's an asshole." Obviously Isaac doesn't understand what she's saying, but will the badmouthing really stop as he grows older? The worst thing two separated parents can do is put their child in the middle, and it seems like poor Isaac is destined to be fought over for the rest of his life. Maybe they should just let Junior adopt him and call the whole thing a wash.

The Ugly:

• Jenelle. Jenelle definitely had peaks and valleys throughout the course of the season and even the episode, but in the end, she's always singing the same tune. She throws away her chances at redemption over and over again and for what? A cocaine-snorting hustler? I know I'm starting to sound like Barbara, but I can see why she's frustrated to the point of tears over trying to parent the stubborn mule that is Jenelle. Jenelle says she just wants to be loved, but what she means is she wants to be loved by a particular person, in a particular way. I will shamefully admit that I occasionally read OK! Magazine and follow the current Teen Mom news, and Jenelle has gotten nothing but negative press since the show started airing. From smoking at a gas pump to backyard brawls, the philosophy that any press is good press does not hold true for Jenelle. I almost want to petition MTV not to continue to feature her on the show because, as much as her trainwreck of a life is addicting to watch, putting an unstable person on reality television is like throwing gasoline on a fire. I can only hope Jace doesn't get burned in the process.

I'm really looking forward to the reunion with Dr. Drew to see what everyone is up to, but I hope MTV will do it justice since they're already pushing the new season of 16 and Pregnant pretty hard (though not quite as hard as Teen Wolf). As much as I enjoy watching the Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant series, I can't help but feel slightly afraid of the message these shows convey. Sure, they flash a 10-second graphic about how "teen pregnancy is 100% preventable," but at the rate MTV is churning out new teenage girls, eager to find their spot in the limelight, it may not be long before teen pregnancy shows go the way of the Real World and devolve into nothing more than a bunch of drunks hooking up in a hot tub.

*Miscellaneous tidbit: did anyone notice that Isaac's name was spelled wrong on one of the cartoon things that they do in between segments? It was written "Issac." Dear MTV, I am a great proofreader. Please hire me to keep you from looking like idiots in cases like these.

Teen Mom 2: "One Step Back"

Wow! I guess MTV has a few children of the '80s on staff, what with the title of this episode being a continuation of last week's Paula Abdul reference. And an ode to Paula Abdul is pretty much the only explanation for the episode's name because, unless I need my head checked, it appeared to me that most of the Moms were moving forward this week. Title discrepancies aside, this was the second-to-last hour of the season, but it feels like just yesterday that Aubree, Jace, Ali, Aleeah, and Isaac were just a twinkle in the girls' prepubescent, pre-MTV lives. My, how time flies when you're a Teen Mom!

The Good:

• Social Services. I'm actually shocked that Social Services would take it upon themselves to prosecute Adam for his unpaid child support, but it's a good kind of shock. I would love to see Adam go to jail and have a big, hairy man named Bubba wipe that smile right off his smug little face.

• Chelsea. Okay, girl still can't get the whole "studying" thing down, but she's done a complete 180 when it comes to her relationship dependency. Maybe the Lady Gaga concert was more than just an opportunity to tease her hair and wear a sparkly outfit. It seems that Chelsea may have actually taken some of the lyrics to heart. Next thing you know, she's going to be asking Jenelle to borrow her "Free Bitch" bracelet.

• Leah. I'm actually starting to wish I was Leah. She's super skinny after having twins, she occasionally has cute hair, and she makes a darn good lemonade with all the lemons life is throwing at her. I'll admit it - I shed a few tears when she said that she would still change Ali's diapers at age 50, if need be. I am planning on training my dogs to change my children's diapers, so imagine how selfless it is of a teen mom to say such a thing. Seriously, though, it breaks my heart that that is even a consideration for her, and it's also just so impressive to see the unconditional love she has for her child.

The Bad:

• Adam's new girlfriend. I really hope this girl is just using him to get her 15 minutes of fame, because I can see no other reason any person in her right mind would go anywhere near this sorry excuse for a man. They say there's an ass for every seat, but I guess there's also a girl for every ass.

• Kailyn's money-management skills. How does Kail still have no cash? All this talk of working two jobs, and she still has to have her mom pay to file the custody papers. She's not paying rent, so where is all the money going? I hate to say it, but I think Jo was right when he said she couldn't afford to live on her own. That doesn't mean she should have moved in with him, but she either needs to take a personal finance class or figure out how to rearrange her life so that she's a little more self-sufficient.

The Ugly:

• Jenelle. I'm wondering if maybe Jenelle's old boss would consider adopting her. It's a long shot, I know, but she needs a parent who will give her a stern talking-to, and his take-no-crap attitude when she tried to "clarify" her disappearance from work is just what the Doctor (Drew) ordered. It's a sad truth that Jenelle and Barbara's relationship is a never-ending cycle of use and abuse. Jenelle takes and takes, then has the misguided idea that somehow it's never her fault when things fall apart. Someone please give this reality star a reality check, stat!

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Do you ever feel bad for the MTV camera crew who has to risk their lives daily by driving in a car with Kieffer and Jenelle? I guarantee they drive while they're high, but I wouldn't want to sit in the backseat with Jenelle at the wheel even when she's not under the influence.

Quotable Quotes:

• "While you and Kieffer are having a la-di-da time, I'm busting my balls trying to g*ddamn survive on barely more than minimum wage!" I knew Barb was actually a man! No, seriously, you tell her, Bob -- I mean, Barb!
  

Teen Mom 2: "Two Steps Forward"

Can anyone read the phrase "two steps forward" and NOT think of Paula Abdul? Okay, good. Glad it's not just me. All of our Moms took two steps forward this week, with many changes going on in each of their lives, but just because you're going forward doesn't mean you're on the right path.

*If it's your first time here, make sure to hover over the pictures to get the full effect*

The Good:

• Junior. Unlike Kieffer's brother Chris, (who now owes DJ Jazzy Jeff $1,000 for copyright infringement, by the way), Jo's brother, Junior, is not a deadbeat. We don't see much of him, but we hear about him all the time because it seems like he's constantly watching Isaac. I know Isaac is his nephew, but still, I hope he's getting paid for watching him so often.

• Randallicious. Do I like that Randy let Chelsea sweet-talk him into Lady Gaga tickets and a night on the town? No. But we all know he has a weak spot in his wallet for his daughter. The reason why he's a Good this week is because the man cracks me up! I love his meal times with Chelsea because they give us priceless nuggets like, "A fairy tale has to have a prince, not a toad" and "Who's this Lady Gaga?" I'm thinking about starting a Twitter account (which will eventually be turned into a disappointing television series) called $h*! Chelsea's Dad Says.

• A mother's intuition. I think Leah and, more surprisingly, Chelsea had some great insight this week into their personal situations. Who can blame Leah, an 18-year-old girl who's only been with her fiance for a few months, for questioning her decision to get married? And when she felt a bit of doubt come creeping in, she didn't just push it down and dismiss it. She shared it with Corey, who didn't have the best reaction, but a marriage isn't about holding back your feelings to spare someone else from a little bit of heartache (That reminds me: Guy, I think that favorite sweater of yours is hideously ugly). Whether or not Corey is the man she should marry is something only Leah can decide, but if she stays true to herself like she has thus far, I think any marriage she commits to will be a success. As for Chelsea, she finally got some clarity when it comes to Adam. She may still need her friends' instruction to delete Adam's Facebook comments, but her realization that "It doesn't work if you do it backwards" is one of the wisest things I've heard come out of her mouth all year.

The Bad:

• Adam. If I had a magic wand, I would point it at Adam and say, "Begone!" Please, MTV, don't subject us to any more quad riding on the streets of South Dakota with this fool. If a Teen Mom kicks her baby's daddy to the curb, that's the last I want to see of him, too.

• Kail and Jo. I think these two are my least favorite couple because neither one of them is very endearing. From a drama perspective, I would rather watch Amber slap Gary around or see Barbara plea with Jenelle not to throw her life away before sitting through another five minutes of Kailyn and Jo bickering about a garbage bag and an unsigned check. No wonder Janet wanted them to resolve things in their relationship!

The Ugly:

• Jenelle. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be Jenelle's mom. I imagine there would be a lot of "Don't talk to me like I'm your little friend down the street" and "I brought you into this world and I can take you out" kind of talk. There would also be a lot of head shaking. Jenelle knows right from wrong, and she knew it wasn't right to take her mom's credit cards, but she did it anyway. If she had sat for a moment and thought it through, she may have realized that not only is taking your mother's credit cards without permission stupid, but it will also blow your cover of saying you're going to Myrtle Beach when you're actually going to New Jersey. So, a double whammy there. But Jenelle acts first, thinks second, denies third. She's the epitome of the Paula Abdul song I mentioned earlier, taking two steps forward, then two steps back.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Remember when Kailyn's friend said of Jordan, "Dumb people can be fun sometimes"? That's kind of how I feel about Corey. When he suggested to Leah that they take a survey of their friends and family to see how many thought they should get married, I laughed out loud. And his accent only compounds the Forrest Gump-ness. Poor Corey.

What did you think of this week's Teen Mom? Do you have any sympathy for Kailyn or Jo? Do you think Jace is going to have hearing loss from Jenelle yelling in his ear? Did you detect a slight smile on Randy's face when he talked about Chelsea breaking up with Adam? Leave a comment!

Teen Mom 2: "Slippery Slope"

Oh, it's slippery, all right. If you watched the preview for next week's episode, you know that this week's "Teen Mom 2" was just a prelude to all hell breaking loose. In the meantime, though, we have plenty to discuss without looking so far ahead, so let's get to it.

The Good:

• Grandmas. I'd like to think that a mother-daughter relationship is something unique and special - something that, no matter how broken it may seem, is never fully beyond repair. So I was happy to see that the Grandmas were all batting a thousand this week, even when their daughters continually struck out. It was sweet of Leah's mom to spring for the wedding gown Leah wanted, despite the $1,000 price tag. That's a lot of money, even for someone who doesn't live in a trailer and pronounce "eye" like "ahh." I suppose maybe MTV could give them a cash advance, but I hope Dawn doesn't have to pawn her family heirlooms to pay for the rest of the wedding. Kailyn's mom, Suzi, also came through by taking Kail in when she needed a roof over her head (it's about time) and also standing up for her when she didn't even totally deserve it. I didn't see Kailyn's episode of "16 and Pregnant," so I don't know the full background of the relationship between these two, but I think Suzi was completely reasonable in her house rules and completely generous in her involvement in the Jo situation. Lastly, even Barbara was a star Grandma this week. She was even-keeled and honest with Jenelle in regard to her expectations and her hopes for the future. She also kept her temper when, yet again, Jenelle abused her trust. Sometimes Barbara gets these goofy grins when things are going her way that just utterly kill me. She seems so simple-minded and innocent, and I tend to forget the witch that lurks just beneath the kooky smiles. But ignorance is bliss, and as long as Barbie keeps the witch in check, I'm on her side.

• Ali. Was this Ali's week or what? She's got a brand-new pair of specs, her MRI came back clean, and she can roll from her belly to her back! I'm rooting for Little Chubby Legs. She deserves a break!

The Bad:

• Dr. Lubicky's bedside manner. This guy irked me the first time he examined Ali, and it seems that he hasn't gotten much better at patient relations. Maybe the cameras make him nervous, but he really doesn't have the most eloquent way with words.

• Jenelle's judgments. Why is it so hard for this girl to play by the rules? Maybe because she's young and dumb, but it's difficult to sympathize with someone who makes so many stupid decisions. She says she just wants someone to love her, but what she doesn't realize is that "love" doesn't equate to always getting your way. Remember when your parents said, "we're doing this for your own good"? Jenelle doesn't really grasp that concept. It's her way or the highway, or, in the case of the New Jersey road trip, both.

• Chelsea's relationship meter. In La-La Land, otherwise known as Chelsea's brain, a trip to the fair can either make or break a relationship that, to the rest of the world, is already smashed to smithereens. Not did Adam balk at paying the $5 entrance fee, but he couldn't keep his sleazy eyeballs from wandering to the undoubtedly pathetic girls who make up his sexual history. Adam would make out with the Bearded Lady if she offered him free admission to the Freak Show (everybody cheats, right?), so I still can't figure out why Chelsea gives him so many chances. It's hard to take her reprimands seriously when she has a smirk on her face the whole time, and ultimately it was Adam who put the kibosh on their domestic "bliss." Maybe a rich woman offered to feed him grapes and fan him with palms while he plays "Call of Duty" all day, but I was somewhat disappointed that Chelsea lost her chance to truly put him in his place.
  

The Ugly:

• Kailyn. She's really been rubbing me the wrong way lately. I get that she works hard to balance two jobs, school, and being a mother, but she's a bit ungrateful for what other people are handing her on a silver platter. $600 is nothing to scoff at, and I don't blame Jo for wanting a payback before releasing Kailyn's belongings. He had no obligation to lend her that money, and she doesn't seem to have even tried to pay him back. Can she honestly not even scrape together $100 to just appease him and smooth over the situation? I think she needs to spend a little less time rock climbing and eating at diners and a little more time thinking about opening a savings account.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• In the background of one of the shots at Chelsea's house, I noticed a large photograph of her in a Miley Cyrus in Vanity Fair type pose, holding Aubree. Really?? No one wants to see that.
  

What did you think about Teen Mom 2 this week? Do you think our Moms will ever be able to climb back to the top of their slippery slopes?

Teen Mom 2: "Pushing the Limit"

This week's episode, "Pushing the Limit," showed our Moms testing the boundaries of their relationships. And, like a baby bounced on Corey's knee at warp speed, the girls were, understandably, a bit rattled at the end of the hour.

The Good:

• The Mamas and the Papas. I think each of the girls had good support from their parents this week. Randy and Chelsea had a nice father-daughter bonding session at the playground, and he offered up some words of advice to Chelsea, which, I'm sure, went in one ear and out the other (but that's beside the point). Kailyn reluctantly sat through a talk with Janet on the state of affairs with her and Jo, and while I still feel like Janet should focus a little more on how her son treats Kailyn to begin with, I do think her heart is in the right place. She only wants to encourage Kailyn to work on the relationship rather than fleeing into the arms of a giant man-child whose idea of a romantic evening is a Guitar Hero jam session followed by an invigorating round of laser tag. Leah's family is by her side, as always, so there's nothing new there, but I even sided with Barbara this week when it came to how she treated Jenelle. Aside from the greeting of, "Oh, what are you doing here?" when Jenelle first showed up, Barbara welcomed her and her "damn lying hustler" boyfriend back into her home with only a few simple requests: don't use the inside broom to sweep the outside, don't eat the baby's food, and don't do drugs on the front porch. It really wasn't a hard regimen to follow. Still, it's no surprise that Jenelle blew it. Though 75% of the Moms didn't take their parents' advice to heart, I was still glad to see some quality parenting by their dear old moms and dads.

The Bad:

• Adam. Is this kid really such a giant loser, or does he just play one on television? Not only did Adam have a continuous, as my mom would say, "shit-eating grin" on his face, but he kept breaking the fourth wall and looking at the camera while making his asinine comments. Adam is a lazy, disrespectful bum, and if I were Chelsea, I would take a note out of Kevin McCallister's book and give him till the count of 10 to get his ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property.

The Ugly:

• Needy moms. Seeing Chelsea's scramble to tighten the reins on Adam and Jenelle's tear-filled rant about wanting to feel loved just makes me feel like something went drastically wrong in these girls' developing years to taint their view of a healthy relationship. It's a bit easier to pinpoint the source of Jenelle's sorrows, what with the absent father and mother who thinks "here, have a bracelet," is a sufficient solution to a baby's disappointment, but where did Chelsea get the misguided idea that the way Adam treats her is acceptable? I think we need to send her to a few "Girl Power" seminars to make her realize that she is good enough, smart enough, and, doggone it, people like her. She doesn't have to settle for a deadbeat dad who equates working hard with hardly working. I've had my issues with Chelsea and Jenelle's life choices in the past, but I think both of them (and their children) could benefit from a few lessons in self-worth.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• If Leah's family thought Corey's proposal was redneck, how will they feel going to a wedding at Coonskin Park?

What are your thoughts on "Pushing the Limit"?

Teen Mom 2: "Switching Gears"

It was a somewhat calm week in Teen Mom-ville, but we still had a few big developments with the girls. Leah got engaged, Aubree started walking, and Barbara wasn't an evil witch. Read on for this week's Good, Bad & Ugly.

The Good:

• Corey's knot-tying skills. You'd have to either have a really cheap ring or be mighty confident in your ability to tie a good fisherman's knot to pull of this kind of proposal. Luckily it went off without a hitch.

• Jenelle & Barbara. I honestly didn't think they'd ever make it to this category, and, by the looks of next week's preview, they should probably relish this spot while they still can. Apparently Barbara took her meds this week because she and Jenelle were actually able to hold a civil conversation. And what's that I hear? Was that a compliment that just came out of Barbara's mouth? She actually told Jenelle that she's proud of her. Even though she slightly dissed Kieffer when expressing her hope that Jenelle would meet a cute guy "with potential," the grin on her face while she said it was too funny not to excuse the rude remark. On Jenelle's end, she managed to find a job (though it didn't look like the most challenging job interview in the world) and start college. I think, deep down, Jenelle is a pretty intelligent girl, but she's got a lot of barriers, many of them self-inflicted, on her road to success.

• Leah. Every week I talk about the strength of Leah and Corey's relationship and their unnatural maturity for their age. But this week, I was simply impressed with Leah alone. She takes hit after hit in Ali's health battle, but never once has her first concern been her own suffering or hardships. I know if it were me, there'd probably be at least one whimper of "why me?" but Leah has been solely focused on her daughter's future, not her own. And what better sign of a good mother is there than a willingness to self-sacrifice for your child.

The Bad:

• Chelsea's lack of ambition. Sorry, Chels, but moving and reuniting with your baby daddy do not qualify as life changes that are potentially detrimental to your studies. Having a baby in your teens? Okay, that's fair, but if Jenelle finished high school, there's no reason you can't. I don't really know if there will be any impact on Chelsea's life for choosing to get a "Good Enough Diploma" over a conventional one, but I think it's sad that she's taking the easy way out yet again. Kailyn is working two jobs, going to college and taking care of a baby. Chelsea is tanning, giving herself horrible hairstyles and trying to get Adam out of bed. There's no reason a few high-school classes can't be squeezed into that "demanding" schedule.

The Ugly:

• Bitter Betties. Jo and Kieffer win the Ugly award this week for their sour-puss attitudes. Kieffer brazenly made the blanket statement that "if you can't get a job in Wilmington, you're a dud-muffin," but he's starting to look a little doughy, if you ask me. I'm sure he's not applying for positions that require NASA-worthy intelligence or the etiquette skills of Emily Post, so I don't know why he isn't having any success on his job hunt, but the least he could do is be a little more supportive of his sugar mama. Is it Jenelle's fault that you don't know what psychology is? No. So why don't you humor her and take a look at her restaurant menu? As for Jo, hasn't he learned that sending vicious text messages is never a good idea? It's one thing to spew nasty comments in the heat of an argument, but to put them in writing is never smart. I can't decide why he is hanging on to Kailyn so tightly; it seems that it's most likely out of a bruised ego for being rejected, but Jo needs to grow up and start finding better ways to express his emotions.
  

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• When I saw the way Corey proposed, I thought it was really cute and creative -- much better than a candlelit dinner and roses, in my opinion. But it's funny that both Leah's mom and sister called him a redneck for his "will you marry me" on the lake. I guess it's all about perspective.

Quotable Quotes:

• "If there was a pause button, I'd probably push it right now." - Chelsea
  

"If there was a rewind button, I'd have pushed it a long time ago." - Randy

Teen Mom 2: "Taking Sides"

The episode was called "Taking Sides," but it seemed like the main focus this week was simple: communication. Over cotton candy at the county fair, on Jo's dad's "beautiful bench" or on Chelsea's toilet, the whole Teen Mom crew was having deep conversations. Even Kailyn's mom came out of the woodwork for a heart-to-heart. Though what they said wasn't always productive, everyone had something to say. Here's my two cents.

The Good:

• Megan. I told off Adam in my head when he suggested that if he had to pay rent, Megan should be subject to the same rules, so I was shocked and impressed when Megan brought it up on her own during her conversation with Chelsea. She's obviously not free-loading, and she gave her new roommate the old college try before deciding that she had to move out. Kudos to Megan for standing up for herself and making the decision to part ways with the "happy family."
• Kailyn. I like a girl who can think for herself, and Kailyn is one of those girls. I'm slightly sad to see her move back in with Jo's parents because, in a way, I think it chains her to a life that she doesn't want. But I'm glad she was at least honest with Jo and his mom and dad about her intentions for the relationship (or lack thereof). Kailyn did say last week that she still loves Jo, but, no matter what The Beatles say, love isn't all you need.
• Leah & Corey/Danny & Sandy/the poster children for "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Week after week, Leah & Corey stay strong in the midst of stress and disappointment. Ali's developmental issues would be enough on their own to put strain on any relationship, but Leah & Corey just sail through life like their biggest problem is a bit of mismatched camouflage. Normally I'd hate to see a young couple rush into marriage, but in their case, I'm excited that Corey bought a ring. I wouldn't be too upset if they waited a while to have Corey Jr., though.

The Bad:

• Barbara & Jenelle. For every bit of positive communication we got with the Goods, we saw the other side of the stick with Barbara and Jenelle. They couldn't hang crepe paper without bickering, and a simple conversation about Jace's birthday present, though hilarious, quickly turned into an argument. In my opinion, neither a Spiderman quad nor a silver cup is the best gift for a 1-year-old, but what do I know? Jenelle was genuinely proud of her gift for Jace, but Barbara just couldn't let her feel good about herself. Something I've learned in life is that it's important to be honest, but it's also important to pick your battles. You may think you're helping when you point out someone else's shortcomings, but a lot of times it's more self-serving than charitable.

The Ugly:

• Chelsea & Adam's 3-ring circus. Sometimes train wrecks are fun to watch. Other times you just have to look away and try to forget you saw anything at all. The longer I watch Chelsea and Adam on this show, the less I enjoy it. You have a spoiled-rotten, delusional girl, a lazy, abusive mooch of a boy and a dad who has created a monster and is powerless to stop it. Randy sits back and plays the concerned, helpless dad when what he needs to do is throw Chelsea in that red Beetle and park it back at his house, where she should be promptly chained to a desk until she finishes high school and gets her act together. Adam, AKA crab-ass, as Megan calls him, is obviously on the same wavelength as Chelsea and her sense of entitlement. And he definitely hasn't learned his lesson when it comes to sending nasty texts. The part-time construction worker, full-time video-gamer needs to get a reality check. But then again, why bother? He found a girl whose daddy will pay their way, and he can sit back and play "Call of Duty" all day long instead of taking care of diaper duty. Maybe Adam is actually a genius! ....Nah!
  

Quotable Quotes:

"Maybe you'll meet a nice guy."
"Dad, I have a boyfriend."
"I know, but maybe you'll meet a nice guy."


Did you enjoy the episode? Whose side are you on this week?

Teen Mom 2: "Too Much, Too Fast"

This week's episode of "Teen Mom 2" focused mainly on the girls' struggle to live a normal teenage existence in the midst of abnormal teenage circumstances. Whether they dealt with school issues, money problems or daddy woes, Leah, Kailyn, Jenelle and Chelsea realized that balancing motherhood and pretty much anything else is going to be difficult. As Leah's mom would say, "Sorry about your luck, honey. You're a mom." Here are my thoughts on "Too Much, Too Fast."

The Good:

• Kieffer. No, it's not opposite day and you haven't entered a parallel universe. If I judge Kieffer solely upon the way he acted this episode and not what I know from extraneous sources about his shady ways, I can actually be pretty impressed with the guy. Okay, he uses cliches ("Yesterday is history and the future is a mystery...") and doesn't have the most eloquent way of speaking ("Your mom is a douche"), but Kieffer was right on the money more than once this week. He even pointed out to Jenelle that she brings a lot of the drama upon herself. Now if only he would get a job and stop keeping Jenelle out past her bedtime.

• Megan. I wouldn't be surprised if Aubree started calling Megan "Dada," what with the amount of time Megan watches her while Chelsea is too busy staring at Adam's tattoos. Though she could do a little more to help her pal stay motivated when it comes to finishing high school, I think Megan has Chelsea's best interest at heart in regard to the Adam situation. When it comes down to it, men may come and go, but a good girlfriend is one in a million. Do you hear that, Chelsea?

The Bad:

• The Teen Dads. From Jace's nonexistent father to Jo's irrational decisions to Adam and Corey who couldn't change the diaper on a squirmy baby if their lives depended on it, the dads were not looking good this week. First Jo can't hold his tongue, so he gets himself (and, presumably, Kailyn) kicked out of his house. Then he takes his son across state lines and expects Kailyn to drop everything to follow him. Luckily Kailyn's levelheadedness was there to put the brakes on Jo's train of thought. As for Adam, he can't even dress himself, so it's no surprise that he has a hard time diapering Aubree, but I was taken aback by Corey's lack of domesticity. I think his ineptness stemmed from a lack of confidence rather than a lack of skill, but he really needs to step it up in the daddy department. Being a dad is more than helping Leah "on some occasions when she's really tired." I have no doubt that Corey can and will get better at being Mr. Mom, as long as he doesn't break down in tears first. Honestly, have you ever seen a guy cry so much?

The Ugly:

• Barbara & Jenelle. When Barbara's not doling out helpful advice like, "Shut the toilet so the baby doesn't drown," she's yelling at Jenelle. She can't be bothered by crazy talk of 1040s and financial aid because she's too busy anticipating what Jenelle will do wrong next so she can yell at her for it. Granted, there are a lot of times that Jenelle deserves a good talking-to (when she sleeps in on the only day she's supposed to watch her baby, for one), but I can see that there are two sides to this very dysfunctional relationship. The hard part about watching these types of shows is seeing stories like this, when two people would be better served by serious therapy rather than being followed around by cameras all day (and a 15-minute televised interview with Dr. Drew does not count as serious therapy). Jenelle and Barbara clearly have a long history of mistrust and broken lines of communication. I can only hope, for Jace's sake, that someone will intervene and give them the help they so desperately need.
  
• Chelsea. If Leah & Corey are the Catelynn & Tyler of this season, Chelsea has definitely taken on the role of spoiled, out-of-touch-with-reality mom Farrah. It's partially Randy's fault for allowing his darling daughter to live on her own without having to earn her keep, but Chelsea gets harder and harder to watch every week. They say teenagers' brains can't fully process risk and aren't done developing until age 25, so maybe there's still hope for Chelsea in the long run, but in the meantime, she's going to have to overcome a whole lot of flawed logic in order to get her act together. For starters, instead of "spreading out the disappointment," why not avoid doing things that you know will cause disappointment in the first place? Also, "Becoming a Dad" checklists should include things like, "Learn the words to 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star'" and "Check the temperature of milk on your wrist before giving it to the baby." If you have to tell your baby daddy (in all capital letters, with multiple exclamation points) to treat you like a decent human being, he may not be the ideal candidate for a third roommate.

Do you think the girls were taking on too much, too fast this week? Leave your comments below.

"Moving In, Moving On": Good, Bad, Ugly

This week, "Moving In, Moving On" showed our teen moms going through some changes in their relationships. Some seemed to be moving in the right direction while others aren't even on the map. Here's the good, bad and ugly of it all..

The Good:

• Leah and Corey. The power couple can do no wrong. Sure, their move into the Love Shack (emphasis on the "shack") was a little fast, but, like Leah said, it's hard to take it slow when you have two kids together. I think Leah and Corey have all the necessary ingredients for a healthy and stable relationship: mutual love and respect for each other, great parenting skills, supportive families and a trailer down by the river(with a fresh coat of paint!). So, it's nice to see them thriving. Even Ali's projectile vomit couldn't rain on their parade. I'm going to start calling these two Sandy and Danny because I fully expected their groups of friends to burst out into a chorus of "Tell me more, tell me more" when they were all chatting at the barbecue.

• Kailyn's relationship decisions. Thank you, Kailyn, for putting the brakes on Jo's desire to have his happy little family back together. I'm sure it's difficult to resist the lure of 24/7 access to The Bank of Jo, even considering his terrible interest rates ("Pay me back double"??) but Kailyn made the right decision when she opted to stay focused on school, work and her baby. Now if only it would last longer than one episode.

The Bad:

• Kieffer's bragging skills. I'm not sure if he realizes it, but being a high-school dropout, taking a couple of courses at culinary school and having the ability to give enormous hickeys all over someone's "friggin' neck" do not warrant an award for "Man of the Year." Kieffer sure has himself convinced that he's a hot ticket, and maybe Jenelle believes it, too, but I don't think he's fooling anyone else -- not crazy Barbara, not the restaurant owners in town who haven't hired him despite his "impressive" credentials, not even the alligator he taunted on his first real date with Jenelle.
  

The Ugly:

• Chelsea. No, I'm not talking about her hair. Chelsea is an Ugly this week because of her googly-eyed ignorance. Every time she gets that ridiculous smile on her face when she talks about Adam, I want to just shake her. It's sad to see her turn into a pile of doe-eyed goop over He-Who-Remains-Inexplicably-Shirtless, but it's infuriating to see her lie to her dad about it.
  

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Are Megan's eyes and teeth unnaturally white, or is it only an optical illusion because they're up against her unnaturally tan skin?
• What was with Kieffer's "I just want y'all to be comfortable, you know what I'm saying?" comment and Jenelle's subsequent maniacal laughter? I felt like there were some drug-related innuendos going on there, but it was like an inside joke between stoners and I was clearly on the outside.

Quotable quotes:

• I'm still not fully convinced that Jenelle & Kieffer's alligator friend wasn't the animatronic feature on Hole 16 at the mini golf course, but I couldn't help but laugh at their exchange before going to see it.

Kieffer: "How do you know he's gonna be there?"
Jenelle: "''Cause he's always guaranteed to be there." ... or your money back!

Teen Mom 2: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

We got to share a national holiday with the moms and their families this week. As fireworks exploded over unwed mothers everywhere, I diligently took notes so that I could present you with The Good, The Bad and The Ugly from this week's episode. And while you're reading, don't forget to hover over the pictures for a good time.

The Good:

• Chelsea's dad, Randy. This man is a saint -- a saint with a wallet full of hundred-dollar bills! What does this man do for a living, and is he hiring? Maybe Randy's financial support of Chelsea is a little over-the-top, but there's no question of how much he loves his daughter and granddaughter. If he wants to show it by handing out hundreds like they're Kleenex, who am I to criticize?

• Leah & Corey's new beginning. Leah and Corey are what I'd imagine Catelynn and Tyler would have been like had they not given Carly up for adoption. Sure, their "defining the relationship" discussion wasn't in the most mature terms ("You call me your girlfriend and I call you my boyfriend?") and their bowling skills leave much to be desired, but these two are wise beyond their years. Leah, you might not think that your belly was big enough for Ali, but your heart and your mind have more than enough room to give those twins a wonderful life.

• The part of Chelsea that thinks she "shouldn't take Adam back or even talk to him." The kid called your daughter a mistake and you a stretch-mark bitch. I know you want your child to have two parents, but is it really worth opening the door to that kind of abuse again? Listen to that little angel on your shoulder!
  

The Bad:

• Jenelle's voice-overs. Who writes this crap? It's obvious that the girls are reading a script when they do narrations, but when she said, "Finding a job is gonna be really hard, and, on top of that, I have to get ready for college and babysit Jace," I almost fell off the couch. I'm pretty sure it's not called babysitting when it's your own child. Here's another gem: "With everything I want to do with my life right now, I'm starting to realize my mom might be in a better position to take care of Jace." What, pray tell, does Jenelle want to do with her life other than smoke marijuana and go on Wal-Mart shopping sprees?

• Barbara. At first I thought Jenelle's mom was doing the right thing by taking custody of Jace. Then I realized that this is probably all part of Barbara's grand plan to trick her teen daughter into getting pregnant, steal the baby from her, raise him as her own and...take over the world? Whatever the case, Barbara is just a little too happy to assume the mothering duties from Jenelle. And the fact that she won't let Jenelle take him anywhere seems strange, too. As much as I don't sympathize with Jenelle's horrible parenting, after seeing her wacky mom and then hearing about how her father essentially abandoned her when she was young, I can understand why she may not be the most stable person out there.

• Janet & Eddie's ultimatum. I find it hard to believe that super-mom-in-law's requirement that Kailyn not date while living under her roof is actually a rule that stems from having her grandson's best interest at heart. Rather, it seems like a mama bear not wanting her baby bear to be scorned. Hey, it's Janet's house, and she has been more than gracious to Kailyn so far, but forcing her to move out just because she's dating someone other than Jo seems counterproductive. Instead, maybe she should focus her energy on getting Jo to take the cigarette out from behind his ear, stop talking out of only one side of his mouth and help out with the daddy duties a bit more.

The Ugly:

• Jo. You know where I'm going with this. Jo, playing arcade basketball with his brother, having a profanity-laden conversation about how Kailyn doesn't deserve to live in "his" house. Apparently, she "don't pay for shit, don't do nuttin'" and is "completely disrespectful." Hmm...can we say pot calling the kettle black?

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• When Leah pondered what Ali's problem was, all I could think was, "Girl, don't you have the Internet?" I would have Googled that stuff six ways from Sunday, beginning with "baby's leg looks like a frog leg."

Quotable quotes:

• "The meal of people who move out" - Randy, referring to Chelsea's habit of eating Ramen Noodles