Top Chef: "Island Fever"

If Richard fails to take home the All Stars title and decides to turn his back on cooking forever, I think he could find another career in writing show synopses for TV Guide. What better description of Top Chef have you heard than, "Cooking with not enough time, not enough equipment, and a twist." That about sums it up! It was an interesting week in the (outdoor) kitchen, though I suspect it would have been a bit more interesting had Carla stuck around to dive for conch. I've been baking bread and growing a beard, so I feel fully prepared to write about the semi-finals. Here goes nothing!

The Good:

• Mad skills. If you pulled the head chef from your favorite restaurant, dropped him on an island and instructed him to cook a meal, what are the chances it would turn out to be as successful as the contestants' dishes were in this episode? Probably slim to none. Granted, Mike, Richard, Antonia and Tiffany are accustomed to Top Chef's style of cookery, but you have to admit that their feats this week were pretty impressive. Cooking a meal on a beach without getting even one grain of sand in the food? Now that's what I call talent.

• The results. Even though Tiffany served up a pretty decent meal, I couldn't have handled it if she had made it to the top three. I'm already sitting here thinking that it's a crying shame that Dale and Angelo are nowhere in sight, so Tiffany's exit was the saving grace of the integrity of the show, in my opinion. In every reality competition show, there is always the phenomenon of those who ride coattails or get by staying under the radar. I'm not denying that Tiffany is more talented than 95% of chefs in the country, but she just hasn't proved herself enough throughout this season to deserve a run for the grand prize.

The Bad:

• The quickfire. I really liked the concept of the quickfire challenge: testing the chefs' consistency and precision. However, why do a team challenge with only four contestants remaining? I think they could have easily made this an individual challenge by asking them to create only 50 plates instead of 100, so I'm not sure why the producers opted to pair everyone up. It's Top Chef, singular, not Top Chefs, plural (or Top Scallop, for that matter).
  
• Padma's showboating. I think there are two possible explanations for Padma's bikini moment in this episode. One, Bravo is trying to increase their straight male viewership. Two, Padma is rooting for Richard and Mike and wanted to give a blow to the girls' egos right before the elimination challenge. Either way, I'm not sure what the point was of wearing a skimpy bikini to greet the chefs at the dock.

The Ugly:

• Boys' club. The Nassau Yacht Club wasn't the only exclusive group on Top Chef this week. Richard and Mike immediately paired up in the quickfire challenge, and I'm getting tired of hearing them say in their confessionals that Tiffany and Antonia don't cook interesting or challenging food. You would think that, after competing with them (and often losing to them, at least in Antonia's case) all season, the boys would have a little more respect for their female competition. But instead they just complain or make excuses when the ladies are given accolades instead of just giving credit where credit is due. Sour grapes, anyone?

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Was anyone else a little surprised that none of the chefs were even a little skeptical about the truth behind the concept of the elimination challenge? After being told last week that they were cooking for Bahamian royalty and then ending up in a fish shack, I think it would take a little convincing that the "Nassau Yacht Club" was not actually code for "aboriginal cannibals who speak only in clicks and pops."
  

Quotable Quotes:

• "Does anybody have a machete?" - On what other cooking show would you hear such craziness? This is why I love Top Chef!

So, who are you rooting for now that it's down to three? Do you think that Richard can combat Mike Isabella's winning streak? Does Antonia even have a chance? Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Teen Mom 2: "Two Steps Forward"

Can anyone read the phrase "two steps forward" and NOT think of Paula Abdul? Okay, good. Glad it's not just me. All of our Moms took two steps forward this week, with many changes going on in each of their lives, but just because you're going forward doesn't mean you're on the right path.

*If it's your first time here, make sure to hover over the pictures to get the full effect*

The Good:

• Junior. Unlike Kieffer's brother Chris, (who now owes DJ Jazzy Jeff $1,000 for copyright infringement, by the way), Jo's brother, Junior, is not a deadbeat. We don't see much of him, but we hear about him all the time because it seems like he's constantly watching Isaac. I know Isaac is his nephew, but still, I hope he's getting paid for watching him so often.

• Randallicious. Do I like that Randy let Chelsea sweet-talk him into Lady Gaga tickets and a night on the town? No. But we all know he has a weak spot in his wallet for his daughter. The reason why he's a Good this week is because the man cracks me up! I love his meal times with Chelsea because they give us priceless nuggets like, "A fairy tale has to have a prince, not a toad" and "Who's this Lady Gaga?" I'm thinking about starting a Twitter account (which will eventually be turned into a disappointing television series) called $h*! Chelsea's Dad Says.

• A mother's intuition. I think Leah and, more surprisingly, Chelsea had some great insight this week into their personal situations. Who can blame Leah, an 18-year-old girl who's only been with her fiance for a few months, for questioning her decision to get married? And when she felt a bit of doubt come creeping in, she didn't just push it down and dismiss it. She shared it with Corey, who didn't have the best reaction, but a marriage isn't about holding back your feelings to spare someone else from a little bit of heartache (That reminds me: Guy, I think that favorite sweater of yours is hideously ugly). Whether or not Corey is the man she should marry is something only Leah can decide, but if she stays true to herself like she has thus far, I think any marriage she commits to will be a success. As for Chelsea, she finally got some clarity when it comes to Adam. She may still need her friends' instruction to delete Adam's Facebook comments, but her realization that "It doesn't work if you do it backwards" is one of the wisest things I've heard come out of her mouth all year.

The Bad:

• Adam. If I had a magic wand, I would point it at Adam and say, "Begone!" Please, MTV, don't subject us to any more quad riding on the streets of South Dakota with this fool. If a Teen Mom kicks her baby's daddy to the curb, that's the last I want to see of him, too.

• Kail and Jo. I think these two are my least favorite couple because neither one of them is very endearing. From a drama perspective, I would rather watch Amber slap Gary around or see Barbara plea with Jenelle not to throw her life away before sitting through another five minutes of Kailyn and Jo bickering about a garbage bag and an unsigned check. No wonder Janet wanted them to resolve things in their relationship!

The Ugly:

• Jenelle. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be Jenelle's mom. I imagine there would be a lot of "Don't talk to me like I'm your little friend down the street" and "I brought you into this world and I can take you out" kind of talk. There would also be a lot of head shaking. Jenelle knows right from wrong, and she knew it wasn't right to take her mom's credit cards, but she did it anyway. If she had sat for a moment and thought it through, she may have realized that not only is taking your mother's credit cards without permission stupid, but it will also blow your cover of saying you're going to Myrtle Beach when you're actually going to New Jersey. So, a double whammy there. But Jenelle acts first, thinks second, denies third. She's the epitome of the Paula Abdul song I mentioned earlier, taking two steps forward, then two steps back.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Remember when Kailyn's friend said of Jordan, "Dumb people can be fun sometimes"? That's kind of how I feel about Corey. When he suggested to Leah that they take a survey of their friends and family to see how many thought they should get married, I laughed out loud. And his accent only compounds the Forrest Gump-ness. Poor Corey.

What did you think of this week's Teen Mom? Do you have any sympathy for Kailyn or Jo? Do you think Jace is going to have hearing loss from Jenelle yelling in his ear? Did you detect a slight smile on Randy's face when he talked about Chelsea breaking up with Adam? Leave a comment!

Glee: "Original Song"

Glee finally decided to drop the social agenda, at least for 95% of the episode, and I think it was better for it. For the first time in a long time, Glee focused on the music with 10, count 'em, 10 songs in this episode. The way I felt watching Glee go back to basics in "Original Song" is kind of like the warm, fuzzy feeling I get when MTV plays a music video. This is how things are supposed to be!

The Good:

• Glee's self-awareness. Sometimes, while I'm eating generic Raisinets and watching Glee, something happens on the show and I think of a snarky comment in my head that I will later use in this blog. Then, almost immediately, a character on the show expresses the same sentiment that I just had in my chocolate-covered haze of a viewing party. Though it can be frustrating for my writing mojo, I appreciate it when Glee has some self-awareness. For instance, when Kurt deemed The Warblers "Blaine & The Pips" or when Rachel said, "I cry every time I sing a solo," I felt like that was Glee giving me a subtle wink and saying, "Don't worry. We know where you're coming from." And who doesn't like to be winked at by one of their favorite shows every so often? Glee really knows how to make a girl feel loved.

• Original songs! The Glee clubbers were way beyond rhyming books with their song-writing capabilities that seem to have appeared out of thin air, but I didn't mind. "Trouty Mouth"? "Big Ass Heart"? "Hell to the No"? More, please! Not only were these songs a welcome change in style from the Top 40 stuff that I normally complain about, but they were hilarious and catchy, too! I'm sure I'll have "guppy fa-a-a-a-ace" stuck in my head for quite some time.

The Bad:

• Quinn. Her voice-over at the beginning of the episode felt strangely out of place, and, more importantly, Quinn seems to be morphing into a Sue Jr., except drastically less entertaining. Her collection of tiaras and her obsession with getting her way remind me a lot of Sue and her vices. The only reason Quinn isn't an Ugly this week is because we didn't see enough of her to push her down into the bowels of bloggery.

• Get It Right. The song itself wasn't that bad, but can The New Directions seriously let Rachel sing an entire number on her own and still win a group competition? That doesn't seem fair. I mean, at least The Warblers make beatboxing noises in the background while Blaine does his thing. Most of the New Directions weren't even on stage for this number. Give Rachel the spotlight some other time and focus on the team at Sectionals (Regionals? What the heck is the difference? What day is it?).

The Ugly:

• Kathy Griffin. I like Kathy. I really do. I've defended her against my husband's criticisms many times. But this cameo was exactly what I don't like about Glee. What was the point of having her come in and do a blatant parody of Sarah Palin? It wasn't even funny (or timely, for that matter). I don't know if it was Kathy's idea or the producers', but I think the opportunity for a great guest role was lost on this one.

Miscellaneous:

• Did Kurt seriously pull out a cassette tape for his tribute to Pavarotti? What child born after 1990 even knows what one of these is? And The Warblers just had a tape player right there in their board room? Unless this is Harry Potter and they were meeting in The Room of Requirement, I have to call B.S.
  

Quotable Quotes:

• "I don't even remember putting that in there." Brittany, re: the dirt Sue put in her locker
• "Guys, just think about it. What's your favorite song of all time?" - Mr. Schue

"My Headband." - Brittany

Real Housewives of Miami: "Waterfront and Center"

This isn't in my usual blogging style, but I wrote a recap of last night's Real Housewives of Miami to submit for a potential writing position on Reality Tea, so I figured, why let it go to waste? I found that writing with a stricter format is, naturally, more challenging for me, especially in an hour-long show that jumps back and forth a lot. Plus, the recap was supposed to be limited to around 550 words. Mine was around 675, but it was too hard to cut anything else out. I mean, what's an extra 125 words if they're highly entertaining and hilarious, right? Wish me luck!

The Recap:
Lizards and bunnies and pig roasts – oh, my! This week's "Real Housewives of Miami" was filled with all creatures, great and small, along with the usual dose of Housewife cattiness.

Larsa, in a misguided attempt at good parenting, passed out reptiles like they're $10 bills. Neither she nor Scottie is too keen on the idea of caring for the little guys, however, so naturally, the job is delegated to the nannies. "They're still not dead, so it's cute," Larsa said, referring to her sons' pets, but I wasn't entirely convinced she was talking about the animals and not her hired help. Furthering the dead animal theme, the Echeverrias decided to host a pig roast, so Alexia strapped on her "casual" heels for a trip to the farm with Herman and her sons. Unfortunately, she forgot to wear her Louis Vuitton nose plugs, so the smell of swine in the morning put a damper on the outing.

Meanwhile, Marysol and Philippe sat down for what could have been either a nice business meeting or perhaps a marriage proposal, but it was hard to tell by the couple's demeanor. Philippe had taken all the traditional steps in preparing for an engagement: asking his bride-to-be's father for her "hands," buying a large piece of jewelry from her mother, and, presumably, rehearsing his heartfelt emotions over and over until they became almost robotic in delivery. Would it kill him to sound a little more convincing when comparing his fiancée to an industrial operation?

We were treated to a brief glimpse into Lea's personal style, or lack thereof, during a shopping excursion with friends. But friends don't let friends dress like Lady Gaga meets Blanche Devereaux, so a BFF Lourdes is not. Surprisingly, Lea chose an outfit of basic black for the pig roast, but boring attire didn't stop her from expressing herself in other ways. From her shock and disgust at the main course to her lack of faith in Marysol's relationship, Lea, with some help from her Pinot Noir, was not holding back.

A little snark wasn't enough to deter Marysol from her plans to elope, however, so her mom paid a visit to help her choose a dress for the pending nuptials. Though it appeared as if Elsa had been lured to Marysol's home under the guise of receiving free food, she was more than happy to dole out compliments (and dire warnings to avoid "r-r-rolling down" the mountain), despite the fact that she has lost count of the number of times her daughter has been married. When Marysol finally arrived in Aspen and the moment of truth was at hand, she openly expressed a bit of hesitation at committing to a lifetime with her "cheri." If matching sweaters and sweet nothings whispered during après-ski can't convince her, I don't know what can. Let's just hope, at least for the sake of Philippe's green card, that the third time's the charm for Marysol.

Alexia and Cristy, AKA Barbie and Skipper, showed their support of the Miami fashion community by lending their fabulous bods to a local designer for an upcoming show. Alexia looked amazing in the gowns she tried on. Cristy, on the other hand, could have used a little more fabric and a little less maraca. Before you could say "arriba," Cristy was off to lunch with an old friend, ready to proclaim Lea "The Tackiest of Them All." Her fashion choices may raise eyebrows, but Lea proved that she can be honest and caring (with a requisite dash of abrasiveness) during her heart-to-heart with Adriana. Financial hardships, ex-husband woes, and spats with her fiancé have initiated Adriana into the School of Hard Knocks, but with Lea by her side, she'll be able to see past the brim of that floppy hat and into her bright future in no time.

Though we're already more than halfway through this short, six-episode season of "The Real Housewives of Miami," they've packed quite a punch so far. Do you agree that good things come in small packages, or are you left wanting more from our spicy ladies?

Top Chef: "Fit for a King"

So the Final Five have made it to the Bahamas. The climate may be more tropical and Padma's outfits more skimpy, but not much else has changed since we last saw our Top Chef contestants in New York City. Mike is still as arrogant as ever, Richard as nervous and Tiffany as boring. Here's the Good, Bad and Ugly from "Fit for a King."

The Good:

• The quickfire. Not only was Fort Charlotte the perfect setting for a throwdown against chefs of yore, but the concept of the quickfire challenge was fun, as well -- a little "Top Chef meets Iron Chef". I could tell by the bags under Richard's eyes that he wasn't lying when he claimed to have cooked every fish that swims within 100 miles of the island, so I'm sure he was disappointed when the secret ingredient was not, in fact, the rare Sharpnose Puffer but instead, a painfully common rack of veal. And he didn't even get to chase it down and kill it himself. Regardless of Richard's potential disappointment with the ingredients, he, along with Tiffany and Mike Isabella, pulled off an upset against their respective "Iron Chefs." Carla and Antonia failed to take home the 10 grand and the pride that goes along with winning a quickfire, and it was only the beginning of a disappointing episode for the two strongest women competitors.
  

The Bad:

• The elimination challenge. The "royalty" twist really wasn't that surprising, and the fryer fire only made for a slightly more exciting end of the evening. For the first challenge of the finale, I was disappointed. First of all, I would have liked to have seen the chefs shop for ingredients. I think it's more fun to watch them go to the store or a local market and choose from what's there, rather than just taking their pick from the Top Chef kitchen. I also didn't understand why Tom was explaining their dishes to the other judges rather than having the chefs present the dishes themselves. Though the equipment limitations threw some of the chefs for a loop, I wish this challenge could have been a little more creative by design.
• Assumptions. You know what they say when you assume... After being on two seasons of Top Chef, you should know that things are never as they seem. So not only was it disappointing that most of the chefs were duped by the premise of serving royalty, but it was also silly that they bought into the idea that the King of Junkanoo wouldn't enjoy classy food as much as the real King of the Bahamas (if there even is such a thing). How many challenges have we seen on Top Chef involving children or other blue collar clients, where the cheftestants get scolded for dumbing down their concepts to fit their audience? So what if King Vola's palate isn't as refined as Queen Elizabeth's? Gail's bad spray tan aside, it's her, Tom and Padma who are the end all, be all, so they're the ones you should be trying to please.

The Ugly:

• Self-doubt. Richard and Carla were my two favorites of the remaining chefs. Now that Carla is gone, I can only hope that Nervous Nelly will stop psyching himself out and bring home the bacon. It's so sad to see such successful professionals struggle so deeply with self-doubt and negativity. Carla was really a victim of circumstance in the quickfire challenge, but she held on to the feeling of failure and carried it through to the elimination challenge. If her MacGyver skills in real life are anything like what they were in the kitchen, I would not want to be trapped on a crashing airplane with only Carla, a tablecloth and a paperclip. Richard, on the other hand, admitted to worrying about everything and hating everything he makes. If that's not the understatement of the century, then Mike Isabella hasn't gained 20 pounds since season six. I can understand being a perfectionist and fearing failure, but Richard's got to have a little more confidence in what he does. You don't make it to the finale of two seasons of Top menChef on luck and personality alone (which is why Fabio isn't walking his pet turtle on the shores of Nassau).

Next week's episode looks as if it continues the Survivor motif that's appeared throughout Top Chef All Stars, and I can't wait to see the chefs duke it out yet again. What did you think of "Fit for a King"?

Teen Mom 2: "Slippery Slope"

Oh, it's slippery, all right. If you watched the preview for next week's episode, you know that this week's "Teen Mom 2" was just a prelude to all hell breaking loose. In the meantime, though, we have plenty to discuss without looking so far ahead, so let's get to it.

The Good:

• Grandmas. I'd like to think that a mother-daughter relationship is something unique and special - something that, no matter how broken it may seem, is never fully beyond repair. So I was happy to see that the Grandmas were all batting a thousand this week, even when their daughters continually struck out. It was sweet of Leah's mom to spring for the wedding gown Leah wanted, despite the $1,000 price tag. That's a lot of money, even for someone who doesn't live in a trailer and pronounce "eye" like "ahh." I suppose maybe MTV could give them a cash advance, but I hope Dawn doesn't have to pawn her family heirlooms to pay for the rest of the wedding. Kailyn's mom, Suzi, also came through by taking Kail in when she needed a roof over her head (it's about time) and also standing up for her when she didn't even totally deserve it. I didn't see Kailyn's episode of "16 and Pregnant," so I don't know the full background of the relationship between these two, but I think Suzi was completely reasonable in her house rules and completely generous in her involvement in the Jo situation. Lastly, even Barbara was a star Grandma this week. She was even-keeled and honest with Jenelle in regard to her expectations and her hopes for the future. She also kept her temper when, yet again, Jenelle abused her trust. Sometimes Barbara gets these goofy grins when things are going her way that just utterly kill me. She seems so simple-minded and innocent, and I tend to forget the witch that lurks just beneath the kooky smiles. But ignorance is bliss, and as long as Barbie keeps the witch in check, I'm on her side.

• Ali. Was this Ali's week or what? She's got a brand-new pair of specs, her MRI came back clean, and she can roll from her belly to her back! I'm rooting for Little Chubby Legs. She deserves a break!

The Bad:

• Dr. Lubicky's bedside manner. This guy irked me the first time he examined Ali, and it seems that he hasn't gotten much better at patient relations. Maybe the cameras make him nervous, but he really doesn't have the most eloquent way with words.

• Jenelle's judgments. Why is it so hard for this girl to play by the rules? Maybe because she's young and dumb, but it's difficult to sympathize with someone who makes so many stupid decisions. She says she just wants someone to love her, but what she doesn't realize is that "love" doesn't equate to always getting your way. Remember when your parents said, "we're doing this for your own good"? Jenelle doesn't really grasp that concept. It's her way or the highway, or, in the case of the New Jersey road trip, both.

• Chelsea's relationship meter. In La-La Land, otherwise known as Chelsea's brain, a trip to the fair can either make or break a relationship that, to the rest of the world, is already smashed to smithereens. Not did Adam balk at paying the $5 entrance fee, but he couldn't keep his sleazy eyeballs from wandering to the undoubtedly pathetic girls who make up his sexual history. Adam would make out with the Bearded Lady if she offered him free admission to the Freak Show (everybody cheats, right?), so I still can't figure out why Chelsea gives him so many chances. It's hard to take her reprimands seriously when she has a smirk on her face the whole time, and ultimately it was Adam who put the kibosh on their domestic "bliss." Maybe a rich woman offered to feed him grapes and fan him with palms while he plays "Call of Duty" all day, but I was somewhat disappointed that Chelsea lost her chance to truly put him in his place.
  

The Ugly:

• Kailyn. She's really been rubbing me the wrong way lately. I get that she works hard to balance two jobs, school, and being a mother, but she's a bit ungrateful for what other people are handing her on a silver platter. $600 is nothing to scoff at, and I don't blame Jo for wanting a payback before releasing Kailyn's belongings. He had no obligation to lend her that money, and she doesn't seem to have even tried to pay him back. Can she honestly not even scrape together $100 to just appease him and smooth over the situation? I think she needs to spend a little less time rock climbing and eating at diners and a little more time thinking about opening a savings account.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• In the background of one of the shots at Chelsea's house, I noticed a large photograph of her in a Miley Cyrus in Vanity Fair type pose, holding Aubree. Really?? No one wants to see that.
  

What did you think about Teen Mom 2 this week? Do you think our Moms will ever be able to climb back to the top of their slippery slopes?

Glee: "Sexy"

In the words of Salt 'N Pepa, let's talk about sex, baby*. Since Glee just can't resist the hot topics, we were treated (?) to an episode where we got "the ditty on the dirty." I knew the sexisode was coming, so I braced myself for yet another hour of grimacing and shaking my head, but, I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised with the results of Glee getting its sexy back**.

The Good:

• Burt. How much does Mike O'Malley get paid per episode? Whatever it is, I vote we pay him that amount per word. Some day, when Kurt graduates from high school or the Hellmouth opens and absorbs McKinley High (wait, wrong show), I will passionately petition for a spin-off starring The Hummels.

• What Burt said. I don't just love Burt's character for his hat-wearing, putting-Blaine-in-his-place ways. I actually really appreciated the inclusion of his sex talk with Kurt, and I think it helped a lot with my position on the episode as a whole. My opinions on sex & love tend to be in line with Kurt's (I've tried watching those movies, but I just get horribly depressed and I think about how they were all kids once and they all have mothers and, god, what would their mothers think and why would you get that tattoo there?) so I was afraid of what questionable values Glee would try to enforce on us this week. However, if you take away the polar extremes of the utterly ridiculous celibacy club and the free-loving Holly Holliday, I think what Burt said to Kurt is a perfectly happy medium. From Jersey Shore and their smushing to CSI and its portrayal of "rainbow parties," a lot of the media would have us believe that sex is rampant among teenagers. And while I'm not going to contend that kids aren't doing it, I can only hope that one day, when I have a teenager, I can convey to them the message that Burt tried to get across to Kurt -- yes, sex is fun, but it makes you vulnerable and it matters. You matter. The mechanics and the risks are explained just fine by a pamphlet, but what I want my kids to know is that dignity and self-respect are a big part of the equation, too. I'm already planning on buying the Season 2 DVDs so I can pop them in, in 20-odd years and let old B.H. tell my children about the birds and the bees. We'll still be using DVDs in 2031, right?

• Santana. I really like that we've been seeing a different side of Santana this year. She's super hot and super bitchy, but the girl has a softer side, and I, for one, like it. Her locker conversation with Brittany was another one of those moments where I'm glad I haven't given up on this show. What I want to know is this: are the writers the same on every episode of Glee? Because whoever wrote this one should keep it up. It is possible for Glee to be both entertaining and meaningful. It may be rare, but when they get it right, they get it right.

The Bad:

• Emma. Can someone please remind this twerp that she is married to Uncle Jesse? Emma's ultraconservative, germophobic ways are no longer cute. They're just ultra-annoying. Maybe Sue will push her down the stairs in a quest to become McKinley's new guidance counselor. We can only hope.

• Brittany. At the conclusion of their "Landslide" performance, Brittany looked at Santana and asked, "Is that really how you feel?" So you mean to tell me that the girl who thinks babies come from storks and gets confused over the most important meal of the day somehow understood the garbled message in a song originally written from a daughter to a father? Not buying it.

• PLauren/Luck. Whatever you want to call them, I am sick of this couple. I might be weight-ist, I don't know. I'm just struggling with the sheer impossibility that such a couple would ever exist for longer than a millisecond. Maybe it would be more believable if Mark Salling was a better actor, but I get the feeling that he wants to gag every time he has to share so much as a romantic glance with Ashley Fink. You can have all the witty banter in the world, but if the on-screen chemistry is lacking, the next Ross & Rachel you are not.

• Gross underestimations. Will remarked that he had seen how a teenage pregnancy can turn someone's world upside down. Um, he isn't talking about Quinn's pregnancy, right? Because in that case, Glee would have us believe that labor is over and done with before you can say "Freddie Mercury," and you can subsequently give your baby up for adoption, drop the pregnancy pounds and regain your spot as head cheerleader without ever giving it a second thought. I wouldn't exactly call that "turning someone's world upside down."

The Ugly:

• Quinn. I guess now that Santana has a heart, someone has to take the spot of Supreme Bitch, and apparently Quinn is next in line for the crown. But it's not just the character or her unfortunate storylines that are bothering me; I can't stand Dianna Agron's voice! Not every line has to be delivered with a breathy, sexy tone...even if this is the sex episode!

• The Warblers. Despite their ability to breakdance in a bubble storm, the Warblers are so unimpressive to me. Every song they sing is just an auto-tuned, Kids Bop type version of the Billboard flavor of the moment. I'm guessing these performances help Glee's presence on the iTunes charts, but I think the show is at its best when they stay far away from the auto-tune dial.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Kurt's "sexy" dancing reminded me of Billy Crystal in "When Harry Met Sally"

Quotable Quotes:

• "My sex tape with J.D. Sallinger was a disaster."

What are your thoughts & opinions on "Sexy"?

*How was this song not in the episode?
**How was this song not in the episode?