My Ever-Loving Husband

What you are about to read is a true story. It will give you a glimpse into my marriage and why I think Guy and I should have our own reality show, but if you're squeamish or afraid of TMI, do not -- I repeat, do not -- read on.

So, it's 1:00 a.m. in the Tarbert household. I have just gotten home from work, eaten a salad, and changed into pajamas to get ready for a long winter's nap. Guy returned home soon after I did from a poker game at the house of the Indian. He was standing in the doorway of my "office," wearing his new "men's sleep shorts" that I got him for Christmas. I decided to teach him a lesson and smack his butt as I walked into the room. Being the tit-for-tat kind of guy that he is, Guy smacked my butt right back. Here is the short conversation that followed:

Me: Guy, I don't have a nice butt like yours, so you're not allowed to smack mine.

Guy: Well, then get a nice butt.

Me: I can't. It's called ge-ne-tics. (said with much attitude and bitterness).

Guy: It's called pi-la-tes.

And there you have it, folks -- reason number 2,354 for my extremely high (read "extremely low) self-esteem. Anybody looking for a husband?

Adding to the List

"Weapons, Ammo, Pants Seized at Plaxico Burress' Home"

Merry Christmas, one and all!

An Italian Evening

A new restaurant opened in Peters in the end of October, so tonight Guy and I decided to check it out. Here's what I thought of Franco's Trattoria.

Appetizers ( Or First Impressions):
When we walked in the door, I got an immediate whiff of seafood. Now, this is an Italian restaurant with quite a selection of fishy items on the menu, but to have that be the first odor we were overwhelmed with was a little off-putting.

The decor was very nice -- all cool blues and grays with dark wood tables and accents on the walls. It definitely made me feel like I was in a classy place.

We put our name in for a table for two and were told there would be a 20-to-30-minute wait.

The Main Course:
After a mere 10 minutes or so, we were led to an intimate (and by intimate I mean super-tiny) table in the middle of the dining room. While at first glance it seemed fine, as the meal progressed, I grew to hate our seating arrangement. The dining room was arranged with a bench seating along one wall with tables and chairs, then 4-person tables along the other wall, and an awkard column of 2-tops running right through the middle. Not only was there nowhere to set my purse or coat that wouldn't be in someone's way, but if I jutted my elbow out just a tad too far, I got slammed into by passersby (none of whom apologized or even stopped to take notice -- they must be used to it). Not only was the placing of the table poor, but it was way too small for dining in an Italian restaurant. There was barely enough room for the bread basket, let alone a candle, parmesan-cheese cup, and water glasses. But since I work in a restaurant and know the nuisance it is when people ask to switch tables, I decided to grin and bear it.

On to the food -- after Guy stopped flipping out because he couldn't understand the menu (the headings were in Italian), we ordered the fried zucchini appetizer. It was a hearty portion for seven dollars and was fried nicely without being overly greasy. My only complaint was that it was a little salty, but overall it was decent. For my main course, I ordered a bowl of minestrone soup and a Julianna salad. The minestrone soup surprised me by being chicken-based, but it was tasty nonetheless. For a $3 bowl of soup, it was a good size despite the fact that its lack of hearty ingredients (it consisted mainly of broth, carrots, potatoes, and cabbage) left me wanting more. The salad was the best part of my meal -- spring greens, feta cheese, red onions, pine nuts, and tomatoes topped with balsamic vinaigrette. Nothing new or extremely different, but still tasty. Guy ordered the meat ravioli with tomato cream sauce. I didn't get to taste it, so I can't comment on the quality, but one thing that struck me was the extremely small portion size for a $15 meal at an Italian place. Usually it's inevitable that you'll need a to-go box from the Olive Garden and Pasta Too. Not so at Franco's.

We chose not to even look at the dessert menu since neither of us were very hungry anymore, so after our meals it was time to wait for our waitress to return with our check. It took her what felt like an excruciatingly long time, but eventually we made it out with a grand total of $34 plus tip. Not too shabby.

Dessert (Or Final Thoughts):

I love the look of Franco's, and it's obviously popular with the townies so far, but the service wasn't excellent and for the prices, I think I'd rather get more for my money. I'd recommend checking it out at least once, but I don't think we'll be becoming regulars there anytime soon.

Feeble Memory

I've been going through the process of ripping all of my old mix CDs onto iTunes so I can reminisce on my iPod. I came across a song that, although I remember the tune and can sing along with a lot of the words, I have no idea who is singing it. I think it's one of my old friend's bands or something along those lines -- probably not something that was from a Billboard hit single, but I just can't place it.

If someone can tell me how to post music on my blog, I will gladly upload it and let you have a listen.

Another One

"Giant Potato is Potential World Record-holder."


'Nuf said

Oh, Headline Writers...

What will you think of next?

I always have a great time reading the headlines on Yahoo! news (my homepage). Here are some of my latest favorites:

"Woman swept to sea during proposal on Oregon coast"

"Strangers May Cheer You Up, Study Says"

"Ryan Seacrest Bit By Shark" (Yeah, that's an old one, but it doesn't get any less funny with time)

And if you haven't seen this, you should -- it's one of my favorite bits by Jon Stewart about the use of the question mark in headlines...

The Great Hair Debate

I have an appointment for a haircut on Saturday, and I really have an urge to get a little more than "just a trim." I've been trying to grow my hair long for some time now, but I'm getting tired of waiting for it to grow and also caring for long hair. It takes longer to wash, to dry, and it doesn't even really look all that great. So I've been searching for pictures of short hair that I like, and here's what I've come up with:

Short:

Shorter:


Shortest:

I like Katie Holmes' 'do, but I feel like I've had things close to that before. The last one is cool but it's definitely drastic. Or, maybe I should just resist this urge and continue on my journey to long hair. Any opinions?

For the Love of Twilight

I didn't wait in line for hours to see a midnight showing, but I did make it out this past Saturday afternoon to see a matinee of the long-awaited "Twilight" movie. When I left the theater, I have to say, I had a feeling of bliss. Despite the teenagers a few rows behind us giggling at inappropriate moments and the loud voicing of "That movie totally sucked" from a few other audience members, I felt totally pleased with seeing one of my favorite books acted out on the big screen. Maybe it's because I went into it with low expectations. Every trailer I watched left me feeling like Kristen Stewart was going to fulfill the part of Bella quite terribly, but she did much better than I thought she would. I was still bothered by some of her unnatural stuttering at times, but other than that, I think she was quite all right. I also just loved seeing my favorite vampire family become real, despite their terrible blonde dye jobs and sometimes overdone pale makeup. Aside from Rosalie, who I felt should have been more goddess-like, I absolutely loved the casting for all of the Cullens, and I can't wait to see more of them in the upcoming movies. Casting also hit high marks with Billy Burke as Charlie and Anna Kendrick as Jessica. In fact, all of the extras really captured the essence of high school, in my opinion.

Then that brings me to Robert Pattinson. Though I have to wonder how a human being can look so friggin' great in a movie and so sleezy in real life, I really loved Edward in the movie. I thought his English accent made his lines come out a little funny in some places, but otherwise, I really believed his emotions and his feelings -- much more so than with Kristen Stewart's portrayal of Bella. I really can't imagine a more perfect Edward.

My only big critique of the movie is regarding the sparkling scene in the meadow. It seems to be the popular consensus that Edward was nowhere near sparkly enough, but maybe that will be improved with a higher budget in the second film.

I would highly recommend seeing Twilight, but I think it will be much more enjoyable if you've read the book, or even the whole series, first. Now I just have to sit back and wait until New Moon comes out!

Just a Little Shared Story

Guy just e-mailed me this story from work, and I thought it was funny, so I'll share.

"So, get this: I bought a pack of Pop Tarts from the vending machine using one of my "break bucks" ($1 certificates they gave to all of us when we moved here). After I punched in my order, the machine started beeping and then just said "WINNER!!!" It then proceeded to dispense not one, but two packs of Pop Tarts, and then spit out a Sacajawea dollar coin in the coin return!"


How cool is that? I wish all vending machines gave out Sacajawea dollars.

In other news, Guy and I are planning a return trip to Disney World in the end of January. I really wanted to go on a nice vacation together since our honeymoon kind of sucked, and there was a lot we didn't get to do last time we went to Disney, so I'm looking forward to going back. We'll actually be there for the Super Bowl, so that could be bad if the Steelers make it, but otherwise it should be a grand old time. So far we have dinner reservations at Citrico's, California Grill, Cinderella's Royal Table, The Spirit of Aloha Dinner Show, Hollywood & Vine for the Fantastmic! package, and Jiko. We are staying at the Port Orleans French Quarter resort. If you have any suggestions of what to do, let us know!

Halloween '08

Yesterday, November 1st, Guy and I went to a belated Halloween party at the home of his coworker Kevin and wife Steph. It was a fun party, where we won the prize for Best Overall Costume and I played my first ever drinking game...with water. Yes, everyone was forced to play flip cup, which I found out I'm not so bad at, but I wasn't going to play with alcohol, so me and some of the other girls just filled our cups with water (or just pretended to chug air when the water ran out). Though our team lost, we had great team spirit and it was a good time. I also ate lots of good food and saw Guy's "boss"'s white pillars of man meat (how Jerod refers to his legs).

Here are some pictures if you're interested in seeing some of the good times that were had by all.

Halloween '08

Overkill

I cannot wait until Tuesday night at 8:00. Why? Because the polls will be closed. Even if the election takes a while to be decided, even if we end up with more hanging chads, at least this will end the swarms of McCain/Palin supporters calling our house four times a day and knocking on our door. The worst part is that Guy and I are already planning on voting for McCain. We don't need to be convinced! The Republican National Committee should really be spending their time and energy elsewhere. We literally received at least three prerecorded phone calls today, which we let go to the answering machine. We received a fourth call a little while ago, and it was a real person, so I decided to answer and tell her that we're already voting for the Republican candidates. She said she was "so happy to hear that," so at least I made someone happy in the process. We also had a few old ladies come ring our doorbell yesterday at 10:00 a.m. We didn't answer, so they went down the street and rang our doorbell again. We didn't answer this time either, so they just left us a pamphlet on the door handle. Not only are these kinds of tactics annoying, but I really think they're ineffective. Even if I wasn't sure who I was going to vote for, I doubt a phone call or a pamphlet would convince me one way or the other.

So...48 hours and counting...

Remedy

Good news: I eventually got a call back from the supervisor at Cash4Books, and he told me that they would be sending the book back to me at their cost. I received an e-mail with a tracking number and shipping confirmation, so I should be receiving it soon. Although the whole situation seemed like one of those things a supervisor does to just smooth things over, even though he didn't really agree with me, that's fine. I've upgraded Cash4Books from my "do not do business with" list to my "consider doing business with if necessary" list.

Cash4Books: Not Such a Great Deal

I recently discovered cash4books.net after reading a magazine article in Woman's Day, I believe. The premise of the website is basically what the url says -- they pay you cash for your books. You can enter ISBN numbers on their website, and they tell you how much, if anything, they'll pay for what you've got. Then you print out a shipping label, send the books away, and when they're processed, you get a PayPal payment. Sounds great, right? Wrong.

I recently sold a few of Guy's old textbooks to the website. My first frustration came after I got a purchase order from Half.com for one of the textbooks that I had listed but given up on. Someone was buying it for $15, and I only got 4.40 from Cash4Books. Granted, that's my fault, not theirs.

However, I got an e-mail today telling me that I had received my payment of...2.40 from Cash4Books. $2.40? That didn't seem right. I logged in to my account and saw that they deducted 100% of what they said they were going to pay me for one of the books because its accompanying CD was opened. Apparently it was a one-time use CD, and Guy had opened it but never used it. I was upset, so I called their toll-free number to complain. When I talked to the woman, she said that it's in their terms and conditions that one-time use CDs cannot be opened. I looked at their terms and conditions, and all that's there is something that says they do not purchase any materials with one-time use accompaniments. So, I asked, "Why did they offer me money for it if it says they don't purchase them at all?" Her response was, "Well, it says that, but sometimes we purchase them. We just prefer not to." Okay, fine, but still, nowhere did it tell me that the CD was not allowed to be opened. They will only ship it back to me at my own expense, too. It got to the point with the phone girl that she told me she'd have her supervisor call me when she got out of a "meeting." Needless to say, I'm still waiting for that phone call, but I will never use Cash4Books again. I know it's only 4.40, but it's really the principle of the matter that bothers me. How do I know they're not going to sell the book anyway, even though they didn't pay me for it? Frustrating! Annoying! Nuisance!

Moral: Do not use cash4books.net...ever!

A Must-Read

I've worked as a server at a restaurant now since April, and one of the most frustrating things is the way people tip. I found this article about tipping etiquette, so please, please, please read it and follow suit.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/dear-ba-foodist-can-you-set-me-straight-on-tipping-285553/

And I'll add one of my own suggestions -- don't go out to eat at an expensive restaurant if you can't afford to tip properly. If you get a $100 check and figure that you've already spent too much on dinner, it's not fair to gyp the server by giving a $10 tip. Just sayin'.

Vampire Love

I recently finished reading the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. I'm not sure why I didn't read these books sooner, but I really loved them. Although the writing style can be a little bit simplistic, the story was really great and I might...just might...read them again. (I never read books twice). I'm currently forcing Guy to read them so I can have someone to talk to them about because it's lonely when you're in a fictional world by yourself. There's also a movie coming out on November 21, if you haven't seen trailers for it.

If you want to see the trailer, go here.

And if you want to read the books, go to your local library!

Messy Me

I've always been somewhat of a slob, especially when eating. For instance, at our wedding, while eating dinner, I realized I was wiping my hands on my wedding dress instead of the napkin I thought I had put on my lap.

Last night, I spent 15 minutes or so outside, talking to my neighbor while our dogs ran around together. I came back inside and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I looked in the mirror, I noticed that there was a piece of macaroni & cheese literally stuck to my shirt. I ate Pokemon shaped mac & cheese for dinner, so it had been there for a while. How embarrassing.

Another Craigslist Gem

Saw this in the "wanted" section of craigslist:

--Yes, believe it or not, I'm looking for used porn magazines. Will pay cash $0.25 each for fair condition magazines. Pages must not be stuck together and front and back cover must be intact. If you have stacks of old magazines you want to get rid of, let me know... You could get money from them.

Not interested in any illegal porn or magazines from foreign countries (must be English) I may also be interested in used perfect 10 magazines in good condition.--

Now I have truly seen it all.

I'm Just Sayin'...

I saw this post on craigslist and thought it was worth reposting. I"ll let you guess which line is my favorite:

Here is the deal, you give me the name of the person, and assist in the prosecution of this scum bag. I hand you 1000.00 in cash.

On Saturday, Sept. 6th of this year, this jerk broke into my barn and stole 1 trail saddle. It is a TexTan medium brown basket weave, with a rough out seat, it has a 16 inch seat, and is used and broken in.
The saddle is not worth the 1000.00 reward I am offering, I would assume he sold it for around 400.00. Take the Grand and go buy a nice saddle, I would like to get this saddle returned, not because it has great sentimental value or anything like it. It just fits my wife's ass like a glove. More importantly, I want this dickhead exposed for what he really is. Yes I know who took it, I just need to prove it. Please call 724-593-8215 or email me at alldadsmoney@aol.com. I can very easily identify the saddle
The saddle is more than likely still in the Westmoreland county area

Framed

I just got a very interesting phone call from my mom, who just got an interesting phone call from some nutjob woman who is convinced that I hit her while she was riding her motorcycle last night. Here's the story:

Apparently this woman, who I will call Mrs. X, was riding her motorcycle last night when a girl in a Chevy hit her somehow. They exchanged information, but the idiot woman lost it and decided to go browsing through the phone book looking for the perpetrator. For whatever reason, she remembered that the girl's last name was supposedly Rigatti and that she had graduated from Peters in '01 with her son. So Mrs. X looked through her son's yearbook, found me (since I was the only Rigatti in my grade) and then looked up my mom in the phone book to call her and accuse me of hitting her. There are just a few problems with this story:
1. I don't drive a Chevy.
2. I was at home last night at 9:30 when the accident supposedly happened. Thank goodness Guy was here to give me an alibi!
3. The girl had twins in the backseat of her car. As you can probably tell from my perfect figure, I obviously haven't had children, let alone twins. Okay, maybe I don't have a perfect figure, but I still don't have any kids.
4. The girl had Progressive insurance. I have State Farm.
5. The insurance was in the girl's dad's name -- Ray. My dad's name is Joe and he's been dead for 9 years.

My mom said the woman was getting upset with her over the phone, acting like my mom was just trying to protect her daughter and it really was me that hit her. She also claimed that the girl who hit her looked "exactly" like my picture in the yearbook. It obviously wasn't me, and I know it wasn't me, but it really bothers me that someone would have the gall to accuse me of something and call and bother my mom about it just because she's too stupid to keep track of important information like that. I really hope I get to hear the end of the story and find out who actually hit the woman and if I have a bizarro twin out there, but for now, that's all she wrote.

New Blogging Venture

I've started a new blog called The Dog Blog. Check it out.

Noteworthy Blogs

I've recently come upon a few very funny blogs dedicated to specific topics. One is called Cake Wrecks and has posts with -- you guessed it -- pictures and entries about terrible-looking cakes. The other is a blog about the unnecessary use of quotation marks that plagues society today. They're both good for a laugh. Check 'em out.

Cake Wrecks

The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotations

Celebrity Babble

Some may call it invasive and obnoxious. Others may call it our right as fans. Whatever they call it, though, I can't help but enjoy the guilty pleasure of celebrity gossip. I fall right into Yahoo!'s trap every day when they post links with tantalizing headlines like "Morgan Freeman in terrible car accident. Kelsey Grammar hospitalized. Ryan Seacrest bitten by a shark." I can't help but to click and get the scoop. Just today, I encountered two interesting tidbits of celebrity gossip -- one rather infuriating and one thought-provoking (as far as light-hearted trash can provoke thoughts, anyway).

The first was an article about Jennifer Love-Hewitt and her new, slim self. Apparently little miss "I am proud of my big booty that was photographed at the beach last summer" has lost 18 pounds. Normally this would be just another drop in the celebrity-weight-loss bucket, but it annoys me because of the big to-do after paparazzi and vicious Americans in general criticized Jennifer for being chunky when photos of her in a teeny bikini popped up last year at about this time. Granted, her butt did look kind of big -- at least compared to the waifs we're used to seeing in US Weekly. But sizes or perceived sizes of rear-ends aside, she responded to the criticism with a lot of dignity and stated that she loves her body, the photos were at bad angles, etc. Normal girls everywhere stood up and cheered for a celebrity that wasn't afraid to be labeled as having some meat on her bones. And now, a year later, we find out that she has gone and lost 18 pounds. Sure, she has a right to change her body if she'd like to, but if she was truly happy and unaffected by the negative comments made last year, why the need for such a drastic change? It reminds me of when Jessica Simpson's little sister (She Who Shall Not Be Named) preached to girls about self-acceptance, confidence, and the like, and then went and got a nose job. Must everyone succumb to the pressure of Hollywood?

The second article I found was one that showed pictures of celebrities and their twin siblings. Did you know that Jeremy London has a twin brother? Neither did I, but I also didn't know who Jeremy London was until I saw that article. Someone I did recognize, though, was Scarlett Johannsenn. She's got a taller and much less busty twin brother. The last person the article mentioned was Ashton Kutcher. Not only does he have a not-so-easy-on-the-eyes twin brother, but his twin brother also has cerebral palsy! Talk about getting the short end of the stick. That genetic gyp rivals the one with the set of twins on Little People, Big World, where one twin is normal-sized and the other is a little person. I only hope Ashton shares some of his riches with his brother...and that Jeremy helps Zak get something down from the tall shelf every once in a while.

Funniest Game Show Moments

Back in college, I was lucky enough to tune in to a show called Funniest Game Show moments. It had all kinds of bloopers and funny moments from, well, game shows. Ever since then, I've enjoyed going on YouTube to watch compilations of even more of these moments. If you're bored, just go to Youtube and type in "stupid game show answers" and you should come up with quite a few good results. If you don't want to watch them, though, here are some of my favorite answers, mostly from Family Feud.

-Name a body part that people have only one of.
-Big toe.

-Name something made of wool.
-A sheep.

-Name a reason for kneeling.
-To be beheaded.

-Name a slang term that means "wife."
-Bitch

-Name something you might buy that could turn out to be phony.
-A horse.

-Something you squeeze.
-Peanut butter.

There are soooo many hilarious game show moments out there. My favorite part is the look on the person's face when they realize what a dumb answer they just gave. Priceless!

Saving the Environment, One Bag at a Time

About six months ago, I discovered the wonder that is Freecycle. For those of you that are out of the loop, Freecycle is a Yahoo! group where members post offers and wanted ads for things that they have to give away or things that they'd like to receive, respectively. Everything is free, with the idea of keeping things out of landfills that still have some use left in them. I've always been the type to enjoy getting rid of things I don't use by way of garage sales, eBay, craigslist, and other moneymaking ventures, but I definitely have a lot of things that people wouldn't necessarily want to pay for but could still get some enjoyment from. Just today, I gave away the dress from my senior prom (with its matching wrap and purse), an old Chupa-Chup tin bank, a bar of unopened breast-cancer-awareness soap, and a VHS tape of Romy & Michele's High School Reunion. The dress and accessories are going to a little girl who likes to play dress-up, and I have no idea what the other things are going to be used for, nor do I care. The exciting part for me is emptying out boxes and making room in my closets!

If you haven't checked out Freecycle in your city, I would highly recommend it. Like they always say...one man's trash is another man's treasure!

Online Garage Sale

Here are my latest items for sale. Contact me with any questions.


Red formal dress - size 4, Bill Pesci Couture Collection, strapless, a-line - $25
Pale blue formal dress - size 12, tea length, strapless, tie around the waist - $20
Amanda Smith skirt suit - size 4, 5-button jacket and black skirt - $25

Black Banana Republic dress, simple shape with knot at bust - size XS - $10

Everything I Needed to Know About Relationships, I Learned From My Dog

When Guy and I brought a dog into our lives, we knew she would bring joy, frustration, and lots of laughter. What we didn't know is that she would actually teach us things about our marriage and the ways we relate to each other. Aside from serving as excellent birth control, getting a dog has been a great teaching tool. For instance, I am always telling Guy how I would like him to show his affection more. Yes, he says he loves me, but why can't he show it? A hug or kiss when I walk through the door, or even a smile that shows me he's happy to see me would be much appreciated. Unfortunately, no matter how many times I voiced my opinion, it never seemed to sink in...until I related it to the way Lily greets Guy each time he arrives home. When she hears the garage door open, Lily bolts down the stairs and paces back and forth, wagging her tail until Daddy comes up the steps and she can smother him in kisses. There is no doubt in his mind that Lily loves him and is happy that he's home. When I paralleled this situation to my need for physical affection from him, I think Guy finally got it. Though he doesn't have a tail to wag, he's been doing much better at expressing his love the way I'd like him to.

On my side of the teaching opportunities, I was humbled by a witty remark Guy made over dinner the other night. Since I typically spend the afternoons home with the dog, she tends to hover around me and whine and bark until I give her what she needs. In fact, she is prancing around me with a needy air as I type this post. I expressed to Guy that I wish Lily could find ways to entertain herself that didn't involve me. He simply said, "I know how that feels." I had to laugh because it is so true. I've given Guy a lot of slack in the past because I'm always bored and looking for his companionship to keep me occupied. I've taken offense when he would rather do his own thing than sit around and do nothing with me. But now I realize, from the way I feel about Lily, that it's not that he doesn't love me. I love that dog as much as my own family members. But sometimes you just don't want to spend your time finding ways to entertain someone else. I get it now.

So, as I sit here and Lily pulls paper out of my garbage can and proceeds to shred it to pieces, I am thankful for her in ways she can never understand. She is more than a pet to me. She is my friend, and I can only hope she continues to teach me new perspectives on life.

Strike a Pose

I sold my wedding dress a few months ago to an aspiring model. I was really interested to see what she would do with it, so I have been internet-stalking her, and I finally found some posted pictures of it! I think it looks pretty darn sweet, but I wish she would have steamed it before the photo shoot. Overall, though, I'm proud of my sale. At least someone can put it to good use now, rather than saving it for a daughter who most likely won't want to wear it.

View

Anniversary Poetry

Go ahead, gag now, but I'm posting the anniversary poem that was given to me by my lovely (and verbally gifted) husband. It's not necessarily romantic, and you may not get all the references, but I thought it was worthy of public viewing just for the sheer length and rhyme scheme of it. Here she blows:

Three years ago on this very day
Both of our lives changed in a big way.
We kissed at the altar, you refueled our stretch,
We danced our first dance and we got our first sketch.
Our trip south was rainy, but we sure did eat great,
Then back to reality in our newlywed state.
We share a bed with a dark red theme
Where I learned that you grind* and you talk in your dreams.
Lois and Ed and the AC from heck,
We got tired of renting so online we did check.
After some looking we chose to obtain
Our current abode here on Old Village Lane.
With hair in the drawers and the walls a pale blue
We knew that there was so much work to do!
So we cleaned and we painted and we made it our own,
Then we brought in a dog to destroy our new home.
With a woof and a wag and a jump and a bark
That goofy-assed bitch ran away with our hearts.
So it's Mommy and Daddy and little girl Lily,
The first two have jobs while the last just acts silly.
I work in IT for Fairmont Supply,
Striving to be #1 Help Desk Guy.
You're waiting tables and serving up suds,
And mostly enjoy it if your shifts are not duds.
So what's next for us, and where will we dwell?
Our townhouse is lame and we're looking to sell.
Who will be fourth in our new family?
A kid with brown hair or a friend for Lily?
There's really no way to know for sure,
But I've told you before, and I'll tell you some more:
It doesn't matter where we work or we stay,
I love you as much as I did on that day
That I wore a tux and you a white dress,
And I'd do it again because you are the best!

*Get your mind out of the gutter. He means I grind my teeth.

You Know You're From Pittsburgh When...

As my 3-year wedding anniversary is approaching, I have been thinking back to our wedding -- the things I loved, and the things I would do differently. I have to say that there isn't a whole lot I would change about June 18, 2005. I think Guy and I really personalized the wedding "format" and made it our own. From the caricature artist to the candy buffet to walking down the aisle to the theme from "The Princess Bride," I'm proud of the affair we put on! One thing, though, that I really loved was the way we used table names instead of numbers, and how we created a "You Know You're From Pittsburgh When" saying for each of the table cards. No, we didn't look these sayings up and copy them. We actually made them up! (**Toots own horn**).
So, in honor of my walk down memory lane, I now present to you...our table cards.

You know you're from Pittsburgh when...

-You have a collection of pickle pins (Heinz 57 table)
-Every time you see a Campbell's Soup can, you think of Andy Warhol (Andy Warhol table)
-You've ridden the Incline at least twice, even though it's the most boring ride of your life (The Incline table)
-You go to the deli and order a pound of chipped-chopped ham (Isaly's table)
-You've spit off the top deck of The Majestic (The Gateway Clipper Fleet table)
-You know which two rivers form the mighty Ohio (Three Rivers table)
-You've eaten at Buca di Beppo, danced at the Matrix, or laughed at the Funny Bone (Station Square table)
-Your sports stadiums are named after banks (PNC Park & Mellon Arena table)
-You've hung out at the fountain where three rivers meet (The Point table)
-"Double Yoi" can accurately describe how you're feeling (Myron Cope table)
-You know where your school field trip will be before you get the permission slips, and you've already saved your $3 to buy astronaut ice cream for the bus ride home (Carnegie Science Center table)
-You've taken prom pictures at the overlooks (Mt. Washington table)
-Fries and coleslaw come on the sandwich, not on the side (Primanti Brothers table)
-Mr. Rogers really is your neighbor (Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood table)

Might As Well Face It

I'm addicted to junk. Food, that is. More specifically, anything sugary, chocolaty, or prone to causing cavities. I have known about this addiction for quite a long time, but it never seemed to be a problem until I graduated from college. Desk job + maintaining unhealthy eating habits = 30 pounds gained. The worst part is, I am starting to forget what it was like to be my former, skinnier self. Being this weight feels normal to me because I've been it for so long, but I don't want to let myself be complacent because then I'm only bound for higher numbers on the scale.

So, to combat my growing waistline, I made a commitment to give up any and every item of edible junk in my life for the entire month of April. I am not one who can stock up on fudgesicles and 100-calorie packs to treat myself once in a while, because "once in a while" turns out to be "after every meal," and 100-calorie packs are not as thrifty when you eat three in one sitting. Despite the many cravings and temptations I encountered along the way, I made it through the whole month without having even a bite of dessert, except the one time near the end of the month where I partook in my last cake day at work. But even then, I ate the cake and felt like it really wasn't worth it. Had my addiction been broken?

Unfortunately, that brings us to today, a day in which I have consumed too many jellybeans and nonpareils to count. I wasn't intending on hitting May 1st and beginning the binge again, but I had a gift certificate to a candy store that I cashed in on yesterday, and I've been grabbing handfuls of the stuff every time I pass by the bags. Pride and lust were never really my thing, but I just might end up in the eternal rain of the underworld with Cerberus by my side if I'm not careful. Thankfully, the nonpareils are nothing but memories, and the jellybeans are not far behind them. When I have polished off the last of them, I am recommitting to my self-deprivation once again, because, as they say, self-deprivation for a worthy cause is really just self-preservation.*

*I don't know if anyone's ever said that.

Ch-ch-changes!

Every time I write a new post nowadays, I feel like I'm writing to no one, since I doubt I have much of an audience anymore, but I guess that just means I can make this a bit more introspective and more like a journal...for one entry, at least!

There are going to be some big changes occurring within the next month of my life. No, I'm not pregnant. I kind of just decided to quit my job, mostly on a whim, though it had been building up for a long time (is that contradictory?). The point is that I didn't have a totally rational plan when I decided to hit the road. I just woke up one morning and decided I was tired of waiting for something else to come along. So, I sent out some resumes and actually got two job offers in one day. I turned down working as a preschool teacher and accepted a job as a server at a new restaurant that's opening up in Peters Twp. I won't say which one, just for the sake of keeping some anonymity, but if you want to know, just ask me. If you are anything like my grandma, you are thinking one of a few things, including: "why would you quit a stable job for something unpredictable?" and "why would you waste your college degree in a job that doesn't require one?" The truth is, I really don't know. I know that I was unhappy where I was, and the time came to do something about it. Maybe I'll be happier at this new job. Maybe I won't. The main thing is that at least I'm taking a chance. I am sad to leave my friends at my old job, and I'm feeling kind of routine-sick, simply because I've been doing the same thing for 40 hours a week for the past three years, but I hope to make new friends (and keep the old) and form new routines.

So, that's where I'm at right now. If anyone has any advice on how to be a super-great server and get super-great tips, or if you have any opinions you want to share about what you like/don't like that servers do, feel free to share. I need all the help I can get!

Things I'm Selling or Giving Away

I've been selling a lot of things on craigslist lately, and giving a lot of things away on freecycle, but they are not always the most reliable resources, so here's a list of things I still have that I would like to get rid of:

For sale:
Box of children's books - $35 for over 40 books
Hand-painted chip & dip set, 5 pieces - $15
Living room furniture set - two lamps, coffee table, two end tables, console table, mirror - $150 for all
Old costume jewelry - price varies
Mini fridge - 1.8 cubic feet, white - $25
Large box of framed artwork and empty frames - $75 for the whole box
10 5" fish bowls - $20 for all
7 silver pillar candle stands - $15 for all
Self-stick vinyl wall base - 2 boxes of almond, 20 feet per box, $10 per box

Free:
Scrabble game
Misc. tins
Box of country-style knick-knacks
Box of fake flowers
Bag of men's clothes

If you have any questions about things for sale or the free items, let me know. I have pictures of some items, and I will ship things if possible (for an additional shipping fee).

Thanks!

Bucket List

I think it's safe to say that I lead a boring life. In an attempt to unbore myself and maybe others, I am going to make a list here of things I would like to do. Some may be events in the near future, while others are things that could take place at any point in time. My only problem is that I don't like doing things alone. So, if you happen to read this and see something that you would like to join me in doing, please let me know.

And now, the list.

- Eat at Azzeria
- Eat at Franktuary
- Go to Cupids & Canines
- Make jewelery at one of those bead stores
- Get a real massage/go to a spa
- See The Kite Runner
- See Juno, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood
- Read Atonement (anybody own this that wants to let me borrow it? I'm #8 in the hold queue at the library.)

More will be added later. The dinner bell is ringing.