Might As Well Face It

I'm addicted to junk. Food, that is. More specifically, anything sugary, chocolaty, or prone to causing cavities. I have known about this addiction for quite a long time, but it never seemed to be a problem until I graduated from college. Desk job + maintaining unhealthy eating habits = 30 pounds gained. The worst part is, I am starting to forget what it was like to be my former, skinnier self. Being this weight feels normal to me because I've been it for so long, but I don't want to let myself be complacent because then I'm only bound for higher numbers on the scale.

So, to combat my growing waistline, I made a commitment to give up any and every item of edible junk in my life for the entire month of April. I am not one who can stock up on fudgesicles and 100-calorie packs to treat myself once in a while, because "once in a while" turns out to be "after every meal," and 100-calorie packs are not as thrifty when you eat three in one sitting. Despite the many cravings and temptations I encountered along the way, I made it through the whole month without having even a bite of dessert, except the one time near the end of the month where I partook in my last cake day at work. But even then, I ate the cake and felt like it really wasn't worth it. Had my addiction been broken?

Unfortunately, that brings us to today, a day in which I have consumed too many jellybeans and nonpareils to count. I wasn't intending on hitting May 1st and beginning the binge again, but I had a gift certificate to a candy store that I cashed in on yesterday, and I've been grabbing handfuls of the stuff every time I pass by the bags. Pride and lust were never really my thing, but I just might end up in the eternal rain of the underworld with Cerberus by my side if I'm not careful. Thankfully, the nonpareils are nothing but memories, and the jellybeans are not far behind them. When I have polished off the last of them, I am recommitting to my self-deprivation once again, because, as they say, self-deprivation for a worthy cause is really just self-preservation.*

*I don't know if anyone's ever said that.