Top 100

Yahoo news just informed me that Eva Longoria was number one on Maxim's most recent Top 100 list. Various stages of emotion ensued.

Stage 1: Curiousity -- Who else did they choose for this elite list? Must click on headline link to find out more.

Stage 2: Envy -- Skimming the list of names from Jessica Alba down to Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johannsen, it's hard not to feel a slight tinge of jealousy at the sight of seemingly perfect women. And I don't care what any girl says, I think anyone would consider it a compliment that a major men's magazine has chosen you as one of the 100 best-looking people they can think of.

Stage 3: Contempt -- My eyes stop and linger on the name I knew would be there, but in no way will ever understand why it is -- Lindsay Lohan. Everything about that girl is unattractive to me. From the start, I have never been able to comprehend what Hollywood/the general male population sees in her. The grand attempt at covering up her freckles, the unnatural weight/hair color changes, the voice that sounds like a 70-year-old chain smoker...I just don't see the draw there.

Stage 4: Rationalization -- Reason starts to kick in and I realize that not only have most of the photos I've ever seen of these people undergone intense touch-up sessions, but hair stylists, professional makeup artists, personal trainers, and dietary consultants can do wonders if you can afford them. Maybe, just maybe, underneath all of that glitz and glamour is a normal-looking person. (We'll probably never know.)

Stage 5: Real-life application -- A recent controversy at a local high school revolved around a "top 25" list that some boys made about their female classmates. Last I heard, they were suspended and possibly awaiting a lawsuit. Vulgur and inappropriate, yes, but surprising? No. If Maxim can openly rate the top 100, why can't they? In their minds, at least, it seems like a perfectly acceptable pasttime.

Stage 6: The bottom line -- I really hate lists that rank people on looks. Not only does it cause definite self-esteem damage to normal, healthy girls, but it encourages men to look at women as objects. While all that is well and good, I have come to accept that in America, what will be will be, and these lists will probably keep popping up as long as people like me have the curiosity to peruse them in the first place. It's one big vicious cycle.