"The Ultimatum": Good, Bad, Ugly

This Thursday, "The Office" returned not with a whimper, but not what I would consider a bang, either. I'm not going to recap the entire episode, so if you haven't seen it, you should get on that. Instead, I'm going to share with you what I considered to be the good, the bad and the ugly from the episode, otherwise known as the gummy worms, the gummy bears and the...black licorice? "Otherwise-otherwise known as a living, breathing angel." Okay, let's get on with it. *Hover over the pictures for an added bonus*

The Good:

• Michael & Erin. These two need to start fighting crime together. I doubt they would ever actually catch a criminal, but they have a dynamic that Michael & his "solid seven," Pam, never had. I love that they think on the same level, as juvenile as it may be ("snot," anyone?), and it's clear that they care deeply about each other as well. I hope that when Michael & Holly end up together, it doesn't take a toll on his relationship with the lovable redhead (brunette?). At the very least, we need another champagne-spraying, Kelly Clarkson dance party (prerecorded Michael is optional).

• Darryl. The writers gave him some great one-liners in this episode, and I think Craig Robinson pulled them off perfectly. Despite the fact that wanting to eat a PB&J on the way to the bookstore was a lame excuse to bring Dwight & Andy along for the ride AND the fact that these guys spent their entire work day at a bookstore and a rollerskating rink (I guess when Michael Scott is your boss, you can get away with some things), I liked this subplot and thought that Darryl really shined. I laughed out loud when he was shocked to the point of cursing at the realization that the e-reader can hold not 10 but 10 thousand books. Darryl is level-headed enough to be believable ("The day shift at a strip club? You can't un-see that") but relaxed enough to allow for some entertaining story-lines. No one can replace Michael Scott, but if someone has to, Darryl would be my top choice. Let's keep our fingers crossed that he was right when he said 2011 is coming up all Darryl.

• Creed. I thought "The Ultimatum" showcased Creed's quirkiness perfectly. The fact that his resolution was to do a cartwheel but he was having trouble motivating? Genius. His reaction when Erin one-upped him? Priceless. His tombstone should read, "Here lies Creed Bratton. Genius. Priceless." Oh, wait -- his tombstone is already made, thank you.

• Gabe trying (and failing) to intercept the Sabre frisbee. I love that character immensely. See how I did that, Erin?

The Bad:

• The cold open. After weeks of absence, I was hoping "The Office" would come back stronger, but this opening just didn't hit the spot. Though it had its good points (John Krasinski looking adorable in sweater & scarf, the back of the Knights' shirts reading "we are unarmed"), the cold open came off almost like a game of flashlight tag -- slightly nerdy and not at all exciting.
• Pam's resolution board. It couldn't hold a candle to Sue's construction-paper wonder at Vance Refrigeration. Plus, I'm tired of the writers waffling between putting Pam in a place of empowerment and making her a Debbie Downer for whom nothing ever goes right. She ventured out on her own to art school...and then dropped out. She tried to make it as a salesperson and failed. She needs Dwight Shrute to stop her child from reverse cycling. Now she has strong-armed Gabe into creating this role of Office Administrator, but the only things she's done with the position are landed herself in a war of wits with Dwight (and won only because of his essential surrender) and tried, unsuccessfully, to motivate her coworkers with preschool craft time. I'd really like to see Pam achieve something legitimately for once. Another Michael Scott replacement candidate, possibly?

• Jim's absence. I know these things happen because of actors' movie schedules, but it's still weird to me that Jim is conspicuously absent from the entire episode. Something tells me that Kevin would not have been force-fed broccoli had Jim been there to stop it. Which leads me to...

The Ugly:

• The broccoli scene. I know many people considered this hilarious. I personally couldn't handle it. Not only was it awkward and stretched out way too long, I just can't fathom that Kevin has never seen broccoli before. Is this the same guy that prides himself on his chili recipe and has "cooked his way through Julia Child"? Surely he can't be this misinformed or foreign to all things green and leafy. While I'm all for a good gag once in a while, I think "The Office" walks a fine line between silliness and believability, and, in my opinion, the broccoli stunt just crossed into "too silly to be funny" territory.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Phyllis went to Portugal over Christmas break?
• When Amy Ryan un-mittened her hands, I totally thought they were fake! I was expecting Holly to drop her prosthetic arms and show a real hand with a ring on it. I don't know if it was the way she was holding all her fingers together or the coloring of her skin or what, but they just looked plastic to me.
• Did Greek Gods have rollerskates?
  

Quotable quotes:

• "If she's engaged, I'm going to go crazy and I'm going to start attacking people. If she's not engaged, in all honesty, I may just burn this whole place to the ground out of happiness."
• "My resolution? Never to make Holly cry again...unless it's from laughing too hard or making love too beautifully."

What did you think of "The Ultimatum"?