"The Seminar": The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

An episode centered around the Nard Dog -- just what the doctor ordered. I think Andy is my second-favorite character on the show, next to Michael, and it's a close second. But rather than gush about my love for the well-dressed harmonizer, I will move on to my Good, Bad and Ugly for "The Seminar." Ready? 1-2-3, Creed!

*Hover over the pictures. You know you want to.*

The Good:

• Andy. Okay, so I'm not done gushing yet. Master of Ceremonies Bernard just strikes a chord with me. Not only is he super flexible when he's nervous, but he's just so darn endearing. We know Andy would never lose his job at Dunder Mifflin, but seeing his name below Madge, Glenn and Hidetoshi on the sales list, you can't help but feel a little pang of sadness. If this were "Curb Your Enthusiasm," Andy would be Larry. If this were "Seinfeld," he would be George. Nothing ever goes right for the guy...until today. The seminar was a minor victory for our lovable salesman and a well-deserved one at that. Andy Bernard, I jlp you!

• Creed. Yet again, Creed's bizarre nature came through beautifullyThe blank stare on his face before he went to speak to the seminar attendees was great. And his Loch Ness monster anecdote? Well, all I can say is that I think he and Michael need to team up and enter the movie tagline business. "He had two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, 10 fingers, two nipples, a butt, two knee caps, a penis. He couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation." That Oscar is so close I can smell it (and I'm not talking Martinez).

• Darryl pulling a "Wilson" from behind the newspaper and protecting the oh-so-naive Andy from the "jackals."

• Mikinos's gyro recipe (Michael's pep talk). I love when Michael shows some semblance of wisdom, and if there's anything he's good at, it's sales. My heart just gets a little bit warmer when I see Michael looking out for his ducklings.

The Bad:

• The cold open. I know I'm going to catch some flack for this since Ricky Gervais/David Brent's appearance was so highly anticipated, but I thought the cold open was a bit of a letdown. Maybe it's because I only watched the first episode of the British "Office." Maybe it's because a Brit speaking quickly might as well be speaking Chinese to me. I couldn't understand half of what Michael and David said, let alone laugh at it. I'm not putting this in the ugly category because I do think it had its moments ("Comedy is a place where the mind goes to tickle itself."), but I was hoping for more.

• Michael & Holly's communication skills. I guess the barrage of voices Michael & Holly went through upon her return to the office was foreshadowing for the way they would communicate to each other, well, indefinitely. I like a good impersonation as much as anybody, but I'm hoping Michael and Holly will have a heart-to-heart as Michael and Holly soon.

• The Scrabble subplot. Erin is an airhead. We get it. Gabe is lacking in social skills. We get that too. Having to watch them compete in Scrabble over a cellphone for the entire episode was not enlightening or exciting. Even Oscar's righteous anger could save it.

• Jim's absence. John Krasinski, if you're out there, hear this: your movie career is hurting the show that made you who you are! The "avoiding an old classmate" story was just another lame excuse for Jim to be out of the office for the episode, and I honestly didn't enjoy seeing Jim berated by another frenemy, just like he was by Dwight in "Classy Christmas." Last week it was Pam who was the helpless puppy, and this week it was her husband. Those Halperts need to get their groove back!

The Ugly:

• Kevin's motivational speech. He was off to a good start. I actually laughed out loud when he waited for the right part of "Crazy Train" to begin his laps around the room. But this gag could have been cut wayyyyy short and still had comedic effect. Did we really need to see (and hear) Kevin barfing in a trash can? This scene made me feel worse than the time in high school I got mono and had my first period ever in the same week. Writers, editors -- have some restraint, if not for my sake, then do it for Lu Peachman.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Did Michael say that Holly's Greek name was Necropolis? That's just funny, I don't care who you are.

• If Kelly hadn't coined the term first, Andy would make a great Etiquette Bitch. He was even polite when he told Dwight, Phyllis & Stanley to take their offer and shove it!

Quotable Quotes:

• "Thank you so much, Tuna Turner. You are simply the best."
• "I like 'Grease,' or, as we call it, home."
• "The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version when Jim sees what his future would be like if he never met Pam."
  

Teen Mom 2: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

We got to share a national holiday with the moms and their families this week. As fireworks exploded over unwed mothers everywhere, I diligently took notes so that I could present you with The Good, The Bad and The Ugly from this week's episode. And while you're reading, don't forget to hover over the pictures for a good time.

The Good:

• Chelsea's dad, Randy. This man is a saint -- a saint with a wallet full of hundred-dollar bills! What does this man do for a living, and is he hiring? Maybe Randy's financial support of Chelsea is a little over-the-top, but there's no question of how much he loves his daughter and granddaughter. If he wants to show it by handing out hundreds like they're Kleenex, who am I to criticize?

• Leah & Corey's new beginning. Leah and Corey are what I'd imagine Catelynn and Tyler would have been like had they not given Carly up for adoption. Sure, their "defining the relationship" discussion wasn't in the most mature terms ("You call me your girlfriend and I call you my boyfriend?") and their bowling skills leave much to be desired, but these two are wise beyond their years. Leah, you might not think that your belly was big enough for Ali, but your heart and your mind have more than enough room to give those twins a wonderful life.

• The part of Chelsea that thinks she "shouldn't take Adam back or even talk to him." The kid called your daughter a mistake and you a stretch-mark bitch. I know you want your child to have two parents, but is it really worth opening the door to that kind of abuse again? Listen to that little angel on your shoulder!
  

The Bad:

• Jenelle's voice-overs. Who writes this crap? It's obvious that the girls are reading a script when they do narrations, but when she said, "Finding a job is gonna be really hard, and, on top of that, I have to get ready for college and babysit Jace," I almost fell off the couch. I'm pretty sure it's not called babysitting when it's your own child. Here's another gem: "With everything I want to do with my life right now, I'm starting to realize my mom might be in a better position to take care of Jace." What, pray tell, does Jenelle want to do with her life other than smoke marijuana and go on Wal-Mart shopping sprees?

• Barbara. At first I thought Jenelle's mom was doing the right thing by taking custody of Jace. Then I realized that this is probably all part of Barbara's grand plan to trick her teen daughter into getting pregnant, steal the baby from her, raise him as her own and...take over the world? Whatever the case, Barbara is just a little too happy to assume the mothering duties from Jenelle. And the fact that she won't let Jenelle take him anywhere seems strange, too. As much as I don't sympathize with Jenelle's horrible parenting, after seeing her wacky mom and then hearing about how her father essentially abandoned her when she was young, I can understand why she may not be the most stable person out there.

• Janet & Eddie's ultimatum. I find it hard to believe that super-mom-in-law's requirement that Kailyn not date while living under her roof is actually a rule that stems from having her grandson's best interest at heart. Rather, it seems like a mama bear not wanting her baby bear to be scorned. Hey, it's Janet's house, and she has been more than gracious to Kailyn so far, but forcing her to move out just because she's dating someone other than Jo seems counterproductive. Instead, maybe she should focus her energy on getting Jo to take the cigarette out from behind his ear, stop talking out of only one side of his mouth and help out with the daddy duties a bit more.

The Ugly:

• Jo. You know where I'm going with this. Jo, playing arcade basketball with his brother, having a profanity-laden conversation about how Kailyn doesn't deserve to live in "his" house. Apparently, she "don't pay for shit, don't do nuttin'" and is "completely disrespectful." Hmm...can we say pot calling the kettle black?

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• When Leah pondered what Ali's problem was, all I could think was, "Girl, don't you have the Internet?" I would have Googled that stuff six ways from Sunday, beginning with "baby's leg looks like a frog leg."

Quotable quotes:

• "The meal of people who move out" - Randy, referring to Chelsea's habit of eating Ramen Noodles

"The Ultimatum": Good, Bad, Ugly

This Thursday, "The Office" returned not with a whimper, but not what I would consider a bang, either. I'm not going to recap the entire episode, so if you haven't seen it, you should get on that. Instead, I'm going to share with you what I considered to be the good, the bad and the ugly from the episode, otherwise known as the gummy worms, the gummy bears and the...black licorice? "Otherwise-otherwise known as a living, breathing angel." Okay, let's get on with it. *Hover over the pictures for an added bonus*

The Good:

• Michael & Erin. These two need to start fighting crime together. I doubt they would ever actually catch a criminal, but they have a dynamic that Michael & his "solid seven," Pam, never had. I love that they think on the same level, as juvenile as it may be ("snot," anyone?), and it's clear that they care deeply about each other as well. I hope that when Michael & Holly end up together, it doesn't take a toll on his relationship with the lovable redhead (brunette?). At the very least, we need another champagne-spraying, Kelly Clarkson dance party (prerecorded Michael is optional).

• Darryl. The writers gave him some great one-liners in this episode, and I think Craig Robinson pulled them off perfectly. Despite the fact that wanting to eat a PB&J on the way to the bookstore was a lame excuse to bring Dwight & Andy along for the ride AND the fact that these guys spent their entire work day at a bookstore and a rollerskating rink (I guess when Michael Scott is your boss, you can get away with some things), I liked this subplot and thought that Darryl really shined. I laughed out loud when he was shocked to the point of cursing at the realization that the e-reader can hold not 10 but 10 thousand books. Darryl is level-headed enough to be believable ("The day shift at a strip club? You can't un-see that") but relaxed enough to allow for some entertaining story-lines. No one can replace Michael Scott, but if someone has to, Darryl would be my top choice. Let's keep our fingers crossed that he was right when he said 2011 is coming up all Darryl.

• Creed. I thought "The Ultimatum" showcased Creed's quirkiness perfectly. The fact that his resolution was to do a cartwheel but he was having trouble motivating? Genius. His reaction when Erin one-upped him? Priceless. His tombstone should read, "Here lies Creed Bratton. Genius. Priceless." Oh, wait -- his tombstone is already made, thank you.

• Gabe trying (and failing) to intercept the Sabre frisbee. I love that character immensely. See how I did that, Erin?

The Bad:

• The cold open. After weeks of absence, I was hoping "The Office" would come back stronger, but this opening just didn't hit the spot. Though it had its good points (John Krasinski looking adorable in sweater & scarf, the back of the Knights' shirts reading "we are unarmed"), the cold open came off almost like a game of flashlight tag -- slightly nerdy and not at all exciting.
• Pam's resolution board. It couldn't hold a candle to Sue's construction-paper wonder at Vance Refrigeration. Plus, I'm tired of the writers waffling between putting Pam in a place of empowerment and making her a Debbie Downer for whom nothing ever goes right. She ventured out on her own to art school...and then dropped out. She tried to make it as a salesperson and failed. She needs Dwight Shrute to stop her child from reverse cycling. Now she has strong-armed Gabe into creating this role of Office Administrator, but the only things she's done with the position are landed herself in a war of wits with Dwight (and won only because of his essential surrender) and tried, unsuccessfully, to motivate her coworkers with preschool craft time. I'd really like to see Pam achieve something legitimately for once. Another Michael Scott replacement candidate, possibly?

• Jim's absence. I know these things happen because of actors' movie schedules, but it's still weird to me that Jim is conspicuously absent from the entire episode. Something tells me that Kevin would not have been force-fed broccoli had Jim been there to stop it. Which leads me to...

The Ugly:

• The broccoli scene. I know many people considered this hilarious. I personally couldn't handle it. Not only was it awkward and stretched out way too long, I just can't fathom that Kevin has never seen broccoli before. Is this the same guy that prides himself on his chili recipe and has "cooked his way through Julia Child"? Surely he can't be this misinformed or foreign to all things green and leafy. While I'm all for a good gag once in a while, I think "The Office" walks a fine line between silliness and believability, and, in my opinion, the broccoli stunt just crossed into "too silly to be funny" territory.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Phyllis went to Portugal over Christmas break?
• When Amy Ryan un-mittened her hands, I totally thought they were fake! I was expecting Holly to drop her prosthetic arms and show a real hand with a ring on it. I don't know if it was the way she was holding all her fingers together or the coloring of her skin or what, but they just looked plastic to me.
• Did Greek Gods have rollerskates?
  

Quotable quotes:

• "If she's engaged, I'm going to go crazy and I'm going to start attacking people. If she's not engaged, in all honesty, I may just burn this whole place to the ground out of happiness."
• "My resolution? Never to make Holly cry again...unless it's from laughing too hard or making love too beautifully."

What did you think of "The Ultimatum"?