Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Going Above and Beyond

Is there such a thing as too much customer service? I think so. Case in point -- Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Love the store, don't love the employee strategies. All I want to do is browse through the tablecloths uninterrupted, but lurking around every corner is an eager shelf-stocker that has been instructed, I'm sure, to greet me and ask me if I'm finding everything okay. I appreciate being acknowledged in a place where I can never seem to find what I need and always spend a lot of money, but sometimes less really is more. The problem is not that I am antisocial and want to shop in peace, true as it may be. The problem is that I can barely make it into the Bed and certainly nowhere near the Beyond without being greeted over and over again by every worker with whom I cross paths. Even when I deliberately avoid eye contact and walk on the other side of the aisle, it makes no difference. Occassionally, an employee will lap me and spout out the canned greeting again, as if we've never come in contact before. In my eyes, there are only three logical reasons for this type of behavior.
1. Employee nametags are actually small tasers that deliver an electrical jolt if Stocker (or Stalker) Steve neglects to make me feel "welcome."
2. The person who says hello to the most people in one day wins a large sum of money.
3. Bed, Bath, and Beyond does not, in fact, employ human beings, but robots.

Whatever the case may be, it won't stop me from shopping there, but it sure does give me the heeby-jeebies.

Next time, I will discuss the almost-as-annoying sales tactics used by furniture salesmen. Now, there's what I call true stalking.

*On a side note, if anyone receives Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons in the mail and does not use them, could you please save them and give them to me? I need as many as I can get. Thank you.

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