Classified Contradictions

I was browsing the Pennysaver today, when I came across a couple of ads that I considered humorous. Here they are:

"Temperpedic memory foam mattress. Still in original plastic, never used. 20 year manufacture warranty. (NASA). Very comfortable. Cost $1,200. Asking $395."

and the second...

"Saxophone, New. Used 1 month. Great for student or beginner. $400 or best offer."

I'll let you see if you can find the humor in them that I did.

A Few Updates

First of all, I came home yesterday to the wonderful sound of the carbon-monoxide detector beeping, as I knew it would. I called the office yet again and complained and was told that they ordered new ones in the mail and they'll replace ours next week. So, I guess if we die of carbon-monoxide poisoning in the meantime, at least we'll know whose fault it was.

Secondly, thanks to Emily's grandma, I received this lovely photo of the birthday cheesecake.

And finally, you may have noticed that you can't get to my blog from the link in my profile for some reason. I don't understand the problem, but I think it's Google's issue, so if you are a regular reader, just bookmark it, and you'll be able to access it from the bookmark just fine.

#1 Reason I'm Glad We Bought a House

Lindenbrooke maintenance could possibly be the biggest collection of idiots in charge of something that I have encountered thus far in life. Here is a detailed account of why I feel this way:

Day one: Carbon-monoxide detector provided by Lindenbrooke begins to beep. Guy and I check the manual and determine that the beeping means the unit has malfunctioned. We take it down and forget about it until...

Day fourteen (approximately): I call the maintenance office and leave a message detailing the problem. Even though their hours are 8:00-4:30, no one ever answers the phone, so you have to leave a message on a machine and hope they get it. This day happened to be a Friday.

Day seventeen: The following Monday, I stayed home from work for half a day with a migraine. At around 9:00, I was awakened by someone knocking on the door and calling, "Maintenance!" He let himself in, and I came out to greet him in my pajamas. I showed him where the detector was, went back in the bedroom, and shut the door.

Afternoon of day seventeen: I find a pink slip commonly left by maintenance after they have visited detailing the steps taken to remedy the problem. This maintenance man, who we will call Chet, decided to ignore what we had told him about looking in the manual and simply replace the battery in the unit.

Day eighteen: Carbon-monoxide detector begins to beep again. I call the maintenance department and leave another message, restating that the manual says the unit has malfunctioned.

Day nineteen: The weather gets cold, and we want to use the furnace without fear of death by carbon-monoxide poisoning. No sign of maintenance.

Day twenty: I call maintenance again and leave yet another message.

Day twenty-one: No pink slip on the door when I get home from work. I call the main office and explain the problem to the leasing consultant there. She says she will tell the head of maintenance about the problem.

Days twenty-two and twenty-three: It's the weekend, so far be it from a maintenance man to take five minutes to solve our problem. We take the risk of being poisoned and use the furnace.

Day twenty-four: Still alive and breathing, I return home from work to find a pink slip on the door. Hurray! Until I take a closer look. Chet has returned. His solution: "Replaced battery. Tested several times. Made sure 'silence' after testing." What the heck is wrong with this man??? I could not believe my eyes. The silence he heard from the detector is still in effect, but so help me if I hear that thing start to chirp again. Ridiculous!!

Infamous

I just saw a preview for the new movie "Infamous" about Truman Capote. One of the critics' reviews mentioned in the clip was "the best Sandra Bullock performance yet" or something along those lines. At first sight, that's all well and good. And I know there's not a lot of time to mentally process what you see on TV before being bombarded by the next ad's imagery, but after seeing the preview once every commercial break, I did pause to think about the critics' statement. What I thought sounded a lot like that noise Tim the Toolman Taylor used to make when he was confused -- "ooouhh?" Is saying this movie contains Sandra Bullock's best performance really that much of a selling point? We're not talking about Meryl Streep or some other multiple-award-winning actress. This is the best performance yet of the ugly cop turned Miss Congenialty, the lady from "the bus that couldn't slow down." Sure, I'll give her "Crash," but Sandra is much more well-known for box-office blunders like "Murder by Numbers" and "The Lakehouse" than anything praiseworthy. "Infamous" could be a good film, but if lauding Sandra's performance is the best the critics can say about it, then maybe seeing "The Departed" would be $8.50 better spent.

Don't Judge an Eatery by its Cover

We went to a place called "New York Buffet & Grill" tonight for my brother's 20th bday. It's a new establishment where the old Blockbuster by Festival Foods used to be. We knew nothing about the place other than its name, and boy does the name deceive! A sign on the sidewalk out front said "Italian, American, Chinese, Japanese," so I was expecting to walk into a Ponderosa-esque restaurant. But as soon as I set foot inside and saw two Asian ladies in kimono tops standing there, I knew something was amiss. We were seated, drink orders were taken, and we all went to peruse the cuisine. They weren't lying. They did have representatives from all of the ethnic food groups that were advertised, but what they didn't tell you is that Chinese represented 99% of the selections. Italian consisted of pizza and wedding soup. American was...jello, maybe? And then for Chinese and Japanese, there was sushi, a habachi grill, and all the typical variations on chicken that Chinese restaurants offer. I especially loved the handwritten labels above all of the food like, "stuff shrimp" and "hot muster." Oh, and my brother received perhaps the best attempt at an American birthday cake that can come out of a place like that -- cheesecake surrounded by thinly sliced cucumbers and topped with halved cherry tomatoes. A novel attempt, but it just slightly missed the mark. By that time, we knew this was in no way, shape or form a Ponderosa. We were at a Chinese buffet with an awfully misguided title. The food and the service were good, but I'll be interested to see if the New York Buffet and Grill can survive its naming blunder.

Etiquette, anyone?

I have this thing with thank you's. I feel that if you give someone something (letter in the mail, gift, etc.), they should say thank you (if they enjoyed it) or at least acknowledge that it was received. I don't do nice things for people so I can get gratitude, but it's just nice to know that well-intended gestures were appreciated, not lost in the mail, etc. I went to a wedding a few summers ago and never received a thank-you note for the gift. I still think of that as a major faux pas. And I know some people just don't have it programmed into them to acknowledge the receipt of gifts, even if they truly do appreciate it (my husband is one of them), but I can't help but feel a bit perturbed if I try to do something nice and the recipient acts like it never happened. However, the point of this post isn't to make you feel bad if I've sent you something and you never said anything about it. Really, what I want to say is that if you've ever given me a gift, act of kindness, etc. and felt like I didn't acknowledge it, tell me! I still worry about people not receiving thank-you's from our wedding, but we do think we sent them all out, so if you didn't get one, tell me! If there is another sensitive person out there who is bitter that I've not appreciated them, forgive me. And if you never thank me, I'll probably just forgive you and continue sending things because, let's face it -- I just love writing letters.