All my life, I've played by the rules. Well, all my life minus one year of being influenced by a bad friend. Either way, I've spent the majority of my time here abiding by seatbelt laws, school handbooks, and company policies. I'm not sure why I've always been such an upright citizen, but I have a hunch that it stems from my fear of being punished for doing wrong, rather than some kind of moral righteousness. I don't get a rush of adrenaline from doing something "bad," nor do I feel my life is dull or boring. I like the secure feeling of being a goody two-shoes. I'm not hiding an extramarital affair or embezzling funds from my thriving employer, and I wouldn't dare take two from the "have one" jar of free samples. Not having to worry about getting caught doing something I shouldn't be is great, but I find myself getting annoyed with those people who do decide to walk the line and do a little tango with law enforcement, if you will.
My first reaction to this feeling is guilt, because maybe I'm jealous of these risk takers. But as I have already mentioned, I like playing it on the safe side. I wouldn't say I'm jealous of the girl who consistently stays overtime at work when we've been told numerous times that our time punches shouldn't exceed 40 hours a week. I think it's more of a itchy little annoying feeling that says, "Why would this person blatantly ignore the rules?" Sure, everyone is entitled to decide for his or herself what regulations to live by, but I am irked nonetheless. It's the person who wears black shoes to graduation, when we were only "allowed" to wear white. It's someone who rolls through every stop sign they come to on the road of life. Rule breaking, to me, is just a sign of lack of respect for the higher authority in whatever situation, and possibly a bit of carelessness at listening to the rules in the first place. Maybe you are a rule breaker and proud of it. I've just never understood defiant attitudes, and I'm guessing that there's a chance I won't fully understand it until I've got teenagers of my own.
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