Ridiculousness

There is one thing in life that I will never understand. That thing is alcohol. Sure, I had my phase in life where I was curious and wanted to know what things tasted like, but I have never been drunk, or even buzzed (which I consider the same thing as drunk), and I can guarantee you that I never will be.

Confusion #1: "Alcohol is an acquired taste." -- Why would you want to purposefully drink something that tastes like burning in order to acquire a taste? What is the point? Not only is it an addiction waiting to happen, but you are spending money on something that is gross just so you can grow to like it.

Confusion #2: "Drink it. It doesn't even taste like alcohol at all!" Okay, well most of the times I've heard that, it has been false. Wine coolers do not taste like fruit juice, no matter what you say. And furthermore, if it doesn't taste like alcohol, why not get the nonalcoholic equivalent? Unless, of course, you're trying to get drunk, which brings me to...

Confusion #3: Some people say I can't criticize this since I haven't ever been drunk and don't know "how fun it is," but seriously, why do you need a substance to alter your personality in order to have fun? If that's the case, then you're probably a pretty lame or insecure person to begin with. Why risk all the health problems and various other drunken mistakes you will probably make just for a little bit of fun?

Confusion #4: People who purposefully make it known that they drink and love getting drunk. Why is it that in pictures of people at parties, they always have to hold their red plastic cups or bottles up and include them in the picture, like it's some sort of symbol of their coolness or the fun they're having? I also dislike when people make it seem like even having a single drink is some sort of sophisticated or high-class thing to do. Telling a story like "Yeah, I just took a nice long bath and had a glass of wine," like you're from 'Sex and the City' or something. It just sounds ridiculous to me.

If it were up to me, we'd have prohibition again, because I really can't see any good in alcohol at all. I know that 99.9% of the people reading this will disagree with me on one or all of my confusions, but I stand by my feelings. Out of all of my friends, I know of only one person who sees it the same way I do. There used to be more, but then college hit, and people changed. I guess it's just a lonely world in the alcohol-free zone.