The Office: Threat Level Midnight

A short while ago, a friend challenged me to write a blog post with just Goods -- no Bad or Ugly. I poo-pooed the idea, mainly because I didn't think I'd ever watch a show and have no bones to pick with it. That was before I saw last night's amazing episode of "The Office." So, in order to stay somewhat on-theme, I'm going to give the Good, Great and Awesome from "Threat Level Midnight." I only hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. And if not, well, "go puck yourself!"

The Good:

• Blasts from the past. Roy, Karen, Jan, Helene. How fun was it to see the people who have been in Michael's life over the past 11 years? I have to admit, I didn't notice Madge or a few other obscure characters, but I did notice that Carole Stills, Realtor, sold Michael Scarn his mansion. "Threat Level Midnight" was like an Easter egg hunt for seasoned Office viewers, and the rewards were plentiful.

• Michael and Holly. I really liked that Holly was underwhelmed by Michael's movie. Home movies are always more entertaining for the people who are in them, so it made perfect sense that she really wasn't enjoying the viewing party. I also liked their spat/Michael's hissy fit and their subsequent reconciliation, even though it did involve a small amount of PDA.

The Great:

• Threat Level Midnight. The actual movie was deliciously cheesy. It had everything Michael claimed it did -- action (gun fights on skates, exploding hockey pucks), heart (the death of Cherokee Jack, Michael Scarn's ability to fight back against all odds) and symbolism (well, I'll let you figure this one out on your own). The special effects, or lack thereof, were so appropriate for a do-it-yourself blockbuster, and the amateur acting was delightful. Whether it was Jim's evil laugh or Oscar blinking after being strangled, I thought the actual actors' bad acting was perfectly well played.

• The Scarn. Since the Cha-Cha Slide, Part Two never came to fruition, I'm predicting that The Scarn is the next big wedding line dance. It's got a beat and you can dance to it -- what more can you ask for?

The Awesome:

• If I had to pinpoint one reason why I'd give this episode two thumbs up, I think it'd be because of the way each Office character shined through in their role in "Threat Level Midnight." First, you have Michael, who sees himself as invincible yet vulnerable. He can dodge bullets at point-blank range, but the death of his mentor will bring a single tear to his eye. Then there was Jim who, even in his role as Goldenface, couldn't resist taunting Dwight. You can't tell me you didn't laugh when Jim kept saying, "hm?" after Dwight said his line. And speaking of Dwight, not even a sophisticated robot could rid itself of the mannerisms of our friendly neighborhood beet farmer. He went rogue and dove in front of Michael to stop a bullet, despite the fact that it wasn't in the script. And he used his signature move, the high leg kick, to knock down the gate and save the hostages. From Jan's lounge act to Andy's overcompensating bartender to Angela's conservative bachelorette party outfit, every bit of "Threat Level Midnight" rang true to form.

I could honestly go on and on about all of the funny moments from this episode, but instead I'd recommend that you go back and watch it again yourself. Trust me, it only gets funnier!

Quotable Quotes:

• "After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting, and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie, 'Threat Level Midnight.'"
  
• "Heads I do it. Tails I don't. Best out of seven."
• "It's going to take a lot more than a bullet to the brain, lungs, heart, back and balls to kill Michael Scarn" (I almost thought he was going to say, "...to kill the Loch Ness monster"!)

Top Chef: Tarjay

It's down to seven chefs, but it wasn't a lucky number for one of them. In an episode full of puppets and bromances, there was a fair amount of good, bad and ugly as well. Here's my take.

The Good:

• The quickfire challenge. Though I can't imagine how awkward it must have been to be in the Top Chef kitchen with puppets judging your work, I enjoyed watching this quickfire from afar. You'd think each chef would have at least one cookie recipe up his or her sleeve, but apparently that's not the case. Richard fell back on his old crutch, liquid nitrogen, and his zucchini ice cream "cookie" failed to impress Cookie Monster's palate (though his daughter did get a shout-out from Elmo, so it wasn't a total wash). It was fun to see the chefs taken out of their element and venture into the world of sweet. I was actually surprised that no one made a savory cookie, but I'd really like to get a recipe for Dale's winning pretzel/potato chip concoction.

• The elimination challenge. Does anyone else remember when Toys 'R Us used to give away a shopping spree, and you could grab as many toys as possible within the set time limit? That's what the chefs running around Target reminded me of. Though, in the previews, when they showed everyone talking about how difficult the challenge was, I honestly expected something a bit more outlandish, I guess cooking a meal for 100 people at Target is harder than it sounds. I just liked seeing Dale cook grilled cheese with an iron. You know what they say -- necessity is the mother of invention!

The Bad:

• Top Chef goes "Survivor." Before the opening credits, we were treated to Richard and Dale forming an "alliance." Then, during the Target challenge, we saw the extent of Mike and Angelo's bromance. While I'm all for camaraderie in the kitchen, I'm wondering why chefs suddenly think they're on a different reality competition show. It's not "outwit, outplay, outlast." It's out-cook, period. And evidently it was difficult for Angelo to out-cook his competitors when he was more worried about finding a can opener for clueless Mikey than fixing his overly salty baked potato soup.

• Angelo's exit. I wasn't devastated to see Angelo leave, but it's dismissals like his that make me upset with the Top Chef judging system. He is obviously more talented than Tiffany, but he had one bad dish and it was his undoing. The judges have always said that they only take into account the chef's meal for that particular challenge, but I think it'd be better if there was some way to account for past successes. Otherwise it's too easy for someone to scoot by in the bottom three every time while a better chef is sent home for one (big) mistake.

The Ugly:

• Carla's time-management skills. I would love to see Carla cluck her way to the Top Chef finale, but it seems like the competition is starting to ruffle her feathers. Why did she spend so much time beautifying her table? I know it's hard to resist Target's incredible bargains (as shown by the hat Tiffany snagged during her shopping spree), but unless the challenge was to make a half-decent meal and serve it on a pretty tablecloth, Carla was bound to be on the bottom. She's really lucky that Angelo's heavy hand left her to puree another day.

Did you enjoy this episode? Were you happy with Dale's wins and Angelo's loss? Will you now try to cook a sandwich using your iron?

Glee: "The Comeback"

This week's Glee was more than just a comeback for Sue and Rachel. It was a comeback for the entire show. I don't know what happened since Glee left us at Christmastime, but we've gotten two weeks in a row of quality viewing, so I'm willing to concede that it's not a fluke. Whatever the writers are doing, I sure hope they keep it up. Now let me break it down for you, Bieber style.

The Good (Baby, Oh!):

• Sue. Love Jane Lynch. Love Sue Sylvester. When Glee was at its lowest point, Sue was one of the only things that kept me watching. Her one-liners and rips on Will's hair will never get old to me. But not only did we get plenty of classic Sue, with her mud-slinging and devious plans to destroy the Glee Club, we also got to see her softer side during her "field trip to the House of Sad." If your heart wasn't warmed even just a little by the sight of Sue Sylvester with a pediatric cancer patient on her lap singing, "This Little Light of Mine," well, I'd be hard-pressed to say that you have a heart.

• Rachel. Thank goodness Rachel and Finn broke up. It's been so long since we've seen Miss Berry's passion and drive for something other than the approval of an oafish football player. I loved that she paid Brittany to establish her as a trendsetter, but it was even better when it backfired. Apparently sexy schoolgirl/librarian chic is only trendy when worn by an airhead with a heart of gold rather than a bossy know-it-all. I could totally sympathize with Rachel's conniption fit about the proper styling of leg warmers, though. I am not a rule breaker, and neither is she, but it doesn't hurt anyone to think outside of the box sometimes. Unfortunately it takes more than a good idea (like singing an original song for regionals) to move mountains. Hopefully the self-proclaimed "team leader and arbiter of all that is good" will take Finn's advice and shove a great original song down the other kids' throats, if for no other reason than for me to see if a Glee original can do as well as their covers on the Billboard charts.

• The Justin Bieber Experience. When not even Mike Chang's abs can distract Tina from an intense game of Angry Birds, you know there's trouble in Asian paradise. I'm sure Emma has a pamphlet on how to put the spark back in your high-school romance, but rather than seeking help from their trusty guidance counselor, the boys opted to go Bieber. Though I could have done with one less actual Bieber song, I thought this whole subplot was really cute, and it reminded me of the days of the Acafellas (what did ever happen to Ken Tanaka, anyway?)

• Mercedes & Rachel have a diva-off. Sue's diabolical plan didn't quite work out as expected, but it was a great excuse to hear Amber Riley & Lea Michele belt it out with both attitude and emotion, the most essential ingredients to being a diva. My only complaint is that I hate the faces Lea Michele makes when she sings. But a few squinty eyes and gaping mouths here and there are not enough to take away from the goodness that was this duet.

The Bad (Baby, no!)

• Lauren's singing debut. From the outfit to the song choice to the backup dancers, this was a disaster waiting to happen. Although it did enlighten us as to the Glee Clubbers' choice of undergarments (or at least how Lauren would imagine them to be), it was not worth the two minutes of pain I had to endure while listening to this "anthem." Let's call a plus-sized spade a plus-sized spade: the girl can't sing. She can, however, do a mean hair twirl. Let's just hope that Lauren's hair twirl doesn't become a regular thing to compensate for her lack of vocal ability a la Mike Chang's dancing. I'm perfectly fine with having a non-singing, non-hair-twirling member of the Glee Club, as long as she makes me laugh.

The Ugly:

• Quinn. Okay, I will reluctantly admit that Diana Agron is one of the most beautiful creatures, physically, to walk the halls of McKinley High, but a seductive voice and good hair won't get you far in life when you're actually a sneaky bitch. At least Santana wears her bitchiness on her sleeve. Quinn just flits from boy to boy with no regard for the feelings she's trampling underneath her patent-leather Mary Janes. Despite the fact that Sam is fluent in an imaginary language and his mouth-to-face ratio is way off, he deserves better. His hostile breakup strategy wasn't the greatest, but Quinn got what she had coming to her.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Does anyone else want Will to strike up a romance with the pediatric nurse? Maybe he wasn't referring to his ukulele when he said he brought his "special little guy."
  
• Why was Lauren the only one not wearing plaid for the "Sing It for the World" routine?
• Do you think I could get my husband to start watching Glee for the date ideas? Ice rink bumper cars? Painting coasters? Where do I sign up?

Quoatable Quotes:

• "I don't care how depressed I am. I will not date a curly."
• "You're lucky I left my blow gun at home, airbags, 'cause I got a clear shot at your nonnies."

What do you think -- has Glee made a comeback?

Teen Mom 2: "Taking Sides"

The episode was called "Taking Sides," but it seemed like the main focus this week was simple: communication. Over cotton candy at the county fair, on Jo's dad's "beautiful bench" or on Chelsea's toilet, the whole Teen Mom crew was having deep conversations. Even Kailyn's mom came out of the woodwork for a heart-to-heart. Though what they said wasn't always productive, everyone had something to say. Here's my two cents.

The Good:

• Megan. I told off Adam in my head when he suggested that if he had to pay rent, Megan should be subject to the same rules, so I was shocked and impressed when Megan brought it up on her own during her conversation with Chelsea. She's obviously not free-loading, and she gave her new roommate the old college try before deciding that she had to move out. Kudos to Megan for standing up for herself and making the decision to part ways with the "happy family."
• Kailyn. I like a girl who can think for herself, and Kailyn is one of those girls. I'm slightly sad to see her move back in with Jo's parents because, in a way, I think it chains her to a life that she doesn't want. But I'm glad she was at least honest with Jo and his mom and dad about her intentions for the relationship (or lack thereof). Kailyn did say last week that she still loves Jo, but, no matter what The Beatles say, love isn't all you need.
• Leah & Corey/Danny & Sandy/the poster children for "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Week after week, Leah & Corey stay strong in the midst of stress and disappointment. Ali's developmental issues would be enough on their own to put strain on any relationship, but Leah & Corey just sail through life like their biggest problem is a bit of mismatched camouflage. Normally I'd hate to see a young couple rush into marriage, but in their case, I'm excited that Corey bought a ring. I wouldn't be too upset if they waited a while to have Corey Jr., though.

The Bad:

• Barbara & Jenelle. For every bit of positive communication we got with the Goods, we saw the other side of the stick with Barbara and Jenelle. They couldn't hang crepe paper without bickering, and a simple conversation about Jace's birthday present, though hilarious, quickly turned into an argument. In my opinion, neither a Spiderman quad nor a silver cup is the best gift for a 1-year-old, but what do I know? Jenelle was genuinely proud of her gift for Jace, but Barbara just couldn't let her feel good about herself. Something I've learned in life is that it's important to be honest, but it's also important to pick your battles. You may think you're helping when you point out someone else's shortcomings, but a lot of times it's more self-serving than charitable.

The Ugly:

• Chelsea & Adam's 3-ring circus. Sometimes train wrecks are fun to watch. Other times you just have to look away and try to forget you saw anything at all. The longer I watch Chelsea and Adam on this show, the less I enjoy it. You have a spoiled-rotten, delusional girl, a lazy, abusive mooch of a boy and a dad who has created a monster and is powerless to stop it. Randy sits back and plays the concerned, helpless dad when what he needs to do is throw Chelsea in that red Beetle and park it back at his house, where she should be promptly chained to a desk until she finishes high school and gets her act together. Adam, AKA crab-ass, as Megan calls him, is obviously on the same wavelength as Chelsea and her sense of entitlement. And he definitely hasn't learned his lesson when it comes to sending nasty texts. The part-time construction worker, full-time video-gamer needs to get a reality check. But then again, why bother? He found a girl whose daddy will pay their way, and he can sit back and play "Call of Duty" all day long instead of taking care of diaper duty. Maybe Adam is actually a genius! ....Nah!
  

Quotable Quotes:

"Maybe you'll meet a nice guy."
"Dad, I have a boyfriend."
"I know, but maybe you'll meet a nice guy."


Did you enjoy the episode? Whose side are you on this week?

The Office: PDA

Upon first viewing, I walked away feeling like this was one of the worst Office episodes in a long time. This could have had something to do with the fact that I was exercising while watching (and I hate exercising more than Stanley hates it when someone does his Sudoku), but my second viewing didn't prove much different. I laughed a little more, but I still felt that "PDA" was irritating, unappealing and largely lacking in humor, much like PDA in real life!

The Good:

• Gabe. Zach Woods was possibly the saving grace of this entire episode. Though his relationship with Erin is kind of like a benign (B-9) tumor, growing but not really serving a purpose, seeing Gabe plan an intricate treasure hunt (not to be confused with a scavenger hunt) for Valentine's Day was quite entertaining. For any other girl, this would probably be a great Valentine's gift, but for simple-minded Erin, a copy of Shrek 2 and a shiny object would have been more appropriate. And not only did we get to see Gabe dominate Valentine's Day, but he played a major role in the Michael/Holly storyline, too. Apparently when the HR rep is breaking all kinds of HR protocol, the corporate lackey steps in. I don't know what Gabe's title actually is, but if Holly elopes with Michael and Toby gets killed in a freak jury accident, I would like to see him take over in Human Resources. After all, he may not have a clue when it comes to his own love life, but he can be quite insightful about other people's relationships.

• Andy & Erin. As much as I like watching Gabe struggle romantically, I really want Andy and Erin to get back together. It's got to happen eventually because they're clearly perfect for each other, so I wish they would stop dragging it out so much! I was glad that Erin's inability to complete a fifth-grade-level jigsaw puzzle served as a reason for Andy to escort her through the treasure hunt. Now buck up and tell the girl how it is already, Andy!

The Bad:

• The cold open. How much longer will I have to wait to get a decent laugh before the opening credits? I haven't liked a cold open since "Classy Christmas," and this was the worst one yet. So, let me get this straight: Darryl's 97-year-old grandma dies, and Pam has everyone sign a card. Somehow everyone thinks they're signing a birthday card, so their messages are clearly inappropriate, but WHY would Pam ever give it to Darryl? I'm not even doubting the chances of something like that happening because I could see Stanley, Oscar and crew just blindly signing without realizing what the purpose of the card is, but to think that Pam would actually hand over the dud is just stupid. Maybe I could have accepted this opening if the birthday greetings inside the card were even remotely funny, but they were just generic celebratory messages. Are these the same people who signed Meredith's birthday card back in season one?

The Ugly:

• Michael & Holly. I, much like Sabre, am 100% tolerant of Office romances. But when romance crosses the line into booby-honking, butt-honking, all the honkings, the one where you start in a crouched position, then you leap -- I can't handle it. Holly may suddenly find Michael irresistible despite his DayGlo goatee made of cheeseball powder, but I would have preferred her response to his animal magnetism to have been a little more subtle. We went from zero to 60 in the Scott/Flax relationship in one week, and, if this is what we have to look forward to, it may have been better had it crashed and burned. There are a lot of times in the show when the things the other characters may find annoying or disturbing are entertaining for the viewers, but this was a case where I felt like I was one of the cast, creeped out and annoyed at Michael and Holly's extreme lack of tact. No matter how many times I cleared my throat, I couldn't get them to stop being so ridiculous, and it really took a toll on my enjoyment of this episode.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Did it seem like Darryl's facial hair was in various stages of growth at different points in the episode? At the beginning and then later, he has a normal, subtle goatee, but in the conference room it looks like he is clean-shaven.

Quotable Quotes:

• "Blue Wasabi is so good, but get the cheeseburger. They say they won't do it, but they will if you make a scene." - Phyllis
  
• "It goes to show that everything you want in life, you get. And you can't work for it. It just comes to you." - Michael
  
• "Boner Bomb, starring Jason Statham. Or we go against type with a Jesse Eisenberg or a Michael Cera."
  

Top Chef: Jimmy Fallon

The competition on Top Chef is getting tighter than a pair of Angelo's pants. We are down to eight chefs, and it's about that time when an extra pinch of salt or looking at Padma the wrong way can send you packing. This week's episode with Jimmy Fallon was a fun one, so without further ado, let me go all "New York Times reviewer up in this bitch."

The Good:

• The quickfire challenge. A fondue challenge! Fondue is, according to Fabio, "a pot of boiling something." Unless, of course, you're Richard Blais and fondue is actually a pot of liquid nitrogen. Either way, it was enjoyable to see what each chef came up with for their quickfire creation. Unfortunately the winning dish wasn't going to be a featured menu item at The Melting Pot or even served up at one of Richard's parents' naked fondue parties. No, the reward for the quickfire-gone-groovy was a Napa Valley Wine Weekend which had to be hard-fought from the claws of the other competitors/judges. The chefs ranked each other's fondue dishes, but the whole thing played out with a lot less drama than was probably expected. Aside from the usual disses during confessionals, the quickfire was relatively tame. Dale claimed the victory and, much to his chagrin, he will now be forced to take his girlfriend on a romantic trip.

• Carla's hat trick. My favorite Fraggle wins again -- how 'bout that? She humbly restrained herself when announcing her triumph to her competitors in the stew room, but Carla couldn't contain her excitement during her one-on-one interview after the challenge. She's practically won a trip around the world with all the elimination prizes she's racked up, but it's not like she doesn't deserve it. Carla's food is simple, relatable and made with heart. It's quite possible that this is the only woman in Top Chef history who can flap around the kitchen, clucking like a chicken and still manage to be likable. Though she reacted like Miley Cyrus on a bad salvia trip when she found out she would get to cook her beloved chicken pot pie, fate smiled upon Carla this week, and she took full advantage.
  

The Bad:

• Jimmy's vocabulary. I don't know what he wished for when he blew out his birthday candles, but it definitely wasn't a thesaurus. Jimmy may not like mushrooms, mayonnaise or eggplant, but he certainly likes baseball. It lacked laser beams, so Richard's meal was considered a bunt. Antonia was thrown a curve ball, but she swung for the fences. When he wasn't using baseball analogies, Jimmy used words like "doughiness" (okay) and "gravyness" to describe what he desired in a chicken-and-dumplings dish. I loved Jimmy's enthusiasm for the show, but his critiques were a little lacking in variety and complexity. Maybe that's why talk-show hosts don't write their own jokes.

• Fabio. Fabi-no! I had a feeling this was his swan song from the word "boarger," but I hate to see Fabio pack his knives and go. When it really comes down to it, I don't know how he made it this long. He often seemed out of his element when he couldn't fall back on Italian cooking techniques (hence his attempt to make a burger out of a meatball), but Fabio has too many great sound bites to let him go early on. You know in the credits of reality competition shows when it says that the judges consider input from the producers when making their decisions? I think maybe, just maybe, Fabio has eked out of so many tight spots because of his winning personality rather than his winning dishes. And you know what? I'm okay with that. I can't actually taste the food on Top Chef, so, as a viewer, I'd rather be entertained by a man who regales me with stories of walking his pet turtle on a leash than bored by better chefs with dull back stories.

The Ugly:

• Product placement. Nothing could be worse than the blatant touting of sponsor products in "Days of Our Lives," but the Buitoni commercial in the middle of this episode was pretty pathetic. Is anyone actually fooled into buying Buitoni's prepackaged pasta by watching the chefs cook and eat it on the show? While Antonia talked of cooking lobster and shrimp ravioli, they showed her opening a package of three-cheese tortellini. And when the chefs toasted to their dinner, one of the wine glasses in the shot was completely empty! I understand that reality shows cost money to make, and I'm sure Buitoni provides a large amount of funding, but I prefer my commercials to bookend show segments, not interrupt them.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• I found it strange that there were no shots of the chefs on the set of Jimmy Fallon's show simultaneously with the audience. We "heard" cheers and applause, and we saw shots of the audience alone, but do you think they were actually doing this in front of a live audience? I don't like it when television tries to trick me, and this just seemed fishy.
• Why is Tom's restaurant called Colicchio and Sons? Is he really old enough to have sons that can work in the restaurant, or is he just anticipating their future acceptance of the family business?
  

Glee: "Silly Love Songs"

I'll be honest -- I was fed up with Glee after its fall run, and my feelings only compounded by reading story after story about what a horrible person Lea Michele is in real life. The only reason I kept watching every episode was the same reason Lauren ate Puck's crappy chocolates -- I had to make sure they all sucked. A long break and a post-Super Bowl DVR mishap later, I was ready to cut my ties for good. Sure, I'd have a small Glee-shaped hole in my heart (right next to the larger wound from Arrested Development's cancellation), but I knew someday I would wax nostalgic about the good old days of Mr. Schue and his crazy gang of misfits. However, this all took place before I had an hour to spare and didn't want to watch another rerun of Top Chef. I thought I'd give Glee another shot, you know, because my DVR recorded it anyway and I wouldn't want all that effort to go to waste...right? Two watch-throughs and three pages of notes later, I'll admit that I'm as addicted to Glee as Will Schuester is to vests. Oh well. I'd join a 12-step program with him anytime. Now for the Good, Bad and Ugly.
*Hover over the pictures. I dare you.*

The Good:

• PLauren. Not as much of a ring to it as Puckleberry, but I actually liked the Puck/Lauren storyline. I was skeptical at first. I mean, the chances of a guy like him liking a girl like her are, well, about as good as the chances that Finn will give Becky more than a kiss on the cheek. Couples like that just don't happen in real life. But the writers gave me enough witty banter and plausible explanations to stop questioning the relationship and start enjoying it. The "Fat Bottomed Girls" serenade was one of the best songs in the episode, but thankfully Lauren was not flattered by the backhanded compliment. After all, it takes more than just a song to get her juices flowing. And since Puck didn't deliver an envelope of cash or a muffin basket, it appears that some good old-fashioned honesty did the trick. I hope that we get to see more of PLauren in the very near future.

• Kurt. Speaking of honesty, I admired Kurt's openness with Blaine about his feelings. He's right -- in high school, singing duets and smiling at someone can often be taken as "something more." I'm still confused about their relationship status since it seemed like Blaine kind of left it up in the air, but no matter where the writers decide to take it, any storyline with Chris Colfer is a good storyline, in my opinion.

• Santana. It's hard to like someone who looks so darn good in a candy striper's outfit, but Santana was a girl after my own heart this week. I too keep it real and am also hilarious (actually, maybe I'm just a bitch) but when you've got insults that good, it's a crime to let them stay pent up inside of you. I, for one, hope Santana lets the Lima Heights Adjacent in her shine through a little more often.

• Rachel. For the first time in a long time, Rachel wasn't an egotistical diva or a moping whiner! I truly felt her pain when she talked to Finn in the nurse's office about feeling special when he chose her over Quinn because Quinn is prettier. It came from an honest and genuine place, not one that was seeking attention like she normally does. And, to top it all off, we got a fun rendition of Katy Perry's "Firework" instead of the usual tear-filled ballad. Props to Mercedes and her onesie for inspiring Rachel to harness her pain and turn it into something good!

The Bad:

• PYT. Would it be too much to ask for Artie never to rap or narrate the beginning of a song in a "sexy" voice ever again? It's just too much. I know Kevin McHale got his start in a random boy band, but there's got to be a better use for his voice (which is actually really good). And wow, what a surprise -- Mike Chang is dancing. What else is new? I happily fast-forwarded through the Pretty Young Thing duet during my second viewing.

• The Cheerios' sense of style. Now that they've quit the squad, even the guy in the "Previously on Glee" segment reminded us that we'd get to see Brittany, Santana and Quinn in plain clothes. Santana's outfits were okay, but apparently Brittany has a penchant for knee socks and Quinn has a closet full of plaid skirts and cross necklaces. I've never understood why they wear their Cheerios uniforms EVERY DAY in the first place, but now that I've seen how they dress otherwise, I'll be happy when they inevitably re-up with Sue's minions.

• High-school "love." Teenage crushes are a dime a dozen, but I think being truly in love in high school is pretty rare...unless, of course, you go to McKinley High. Finn loved Quinn. Then he loved Rachel. Now he loves them both. Quinn loves Sam (or thinks she does). Blaine loves the GAP manager who he's had coffee with twice. I know it's a Valentine's Day episode, but high-school kids pick their future mates based on what percent discount they'll get to their favorite store or whether hockey or football players are more reliable, so I'd be happy if they toned down the love thing just a tad.

• Glee's take on Christianity. I don't want to get into a religious debate, but Glee's treatment of Quinn's Christianity REALLY bothers me. For a show known for breaking down barriers and dispelling stereotypes, I hate the way they create a caricature of a supposedly religious person. I already mentioned the cross necklaces, and they also did a lot with Quinn's parents in season one that bothered me, but another example from this episode is when Quinn walked into the auditorium and immediately said she had been at church. I know it set up a ridiculously cheesy line about "praying not to come," but she asked Finn to meet her "tomorrow afternoon," so I really doubt she skipped fifth period to squeeze in a quick visit to Lima's local parish.

The Ugly:

• The Warblers' GAP attack. Not only was Blaine's crush tremendously underwhelming, but the song choice, the venue -- all disappointments. Then to have Jeremiah say he got fired for Blaine's public display of affection? Please! The whole scenario was not quite as bad as when the Spirit of St. Louis overshot the tarmac and plowed through seven Warblers, but it sure was close.

• Tina sings/sobs "Funny Valentine." The only good part about this incident, as I'll call it, was seeing the rest of the Glee club's reaction. While the constipated look on Lea Michele's face made me chuckle, I could have done without Tina's painfully awkward attempt at professing her love.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Finn's Christmas/Valentine's gift to Rachel was cute, but has he been carrying it with him at all times for the past two months? How convenient that he had it stashed right there in the middle of the hall at his kissing booth.
  

Quotable Quotes:

• "I just try to be really, really honest with people when I think they suck."
• "Can I be honest? Just with the hair, I think they do." (Kurt in response to Jeremiah saying no one at work knew he was gay)
• "Michelle, I've been covering your section for 15 minutes. Your break is over. And your husband called."
• "I used to think you were smokin', but a lot of that had to do with the fact that I thought you were mixed race, and that never fails to get me going."