Saw this in the "wanted" section of craigslist:
--Yes, believe it or not, I'm looking for used porn magazines. Will pay cash $0.25 each for fair condition magazines. Pages must not be stuck together and front and back cover must be intact. If you have stacks of old magazines you want to get rid of, let me know... You could get money from them.
Not interested in any illegal porn or magazines from foreign countries (must be English) I may also be interested in used perfect 10 magazines in good condition.--
Now I have truly seen it all.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
I'm Just Sayin'...
I saw this post on craigslist and thought it was worth reposting. I"ll let you guess which line is my favorite:
Here is the deal, you give me the name of the person, and assist in the prosecution of this scum bag. I hand you 1000.00 in cash.
On Saturday, Sept. 6th of this year, this jerk broke into my barn and stole 1 trail saddle. It is a TexTan medium brown basket weave, with a rough out seat, it has a 16 inch seat, and is used and broken in.
The saddle is not worth the 1000.00 reward I am offering, I would assume he sold it for around 400.00. Take the Grand and go buy a nice saddle, I would like to get this saddle returned, not because it has great sentimental value or anything like it. It just fits my wife's ass like a glove. More importantly, I want this dickhead exposed for what he really is. Yes I know who took it, I just need to prove it. Please call 724-593-8215 or email me at alldadsmoney@aol.com. I can very easily identify the saddle
The saddle is more than likely still in the Westmoreland county area
Here is the deal, you give me the name of the person, and assist in the prosecution of this scum bag. I hand you 1000.00 in cash.
On Saturday, Sept. 6th of this year, this jerk broke into my barn and stole 1 trail saddle. It is a TexTan medium brown basket weave, with a rough out seat, it has a 16 inch seat, and is used and broken in.
The saddle is not worth the 1000.00 reward I am offering, I would assume he sold it for around 400.00. Take the Grand and go buy a nice saddle, I would like to get this saddle returned, not because it has great sentimental value or anything like it. It just fits my wife's ass like a glove. More importantly, I want this dickhead exposed for what he really is. Yes I know who took it, I just need to prove it. Please call 724-593-8215 or email me at alldadsmoney@aol.com. I can very easily identify the saddle
The saddle is more than likely still in the Westmoreland county area
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Framed
I just got a very interesting phone call from my mom, who just got an interesting phone call from some nutjob woman who is convinced that I hit her while she was riding her motorcycle last night. Here's the story:
Apparently this woman, who I will call Mrs. X, was riding her motorcycle last night when a girl in a Chevy hit her somehow. They exchanged information, but the idiot woman lost it and decided to go browsing through the phone book looking for the perpetrator. For whatever reason, she remembered that the girl's last name was supposedly Rigatti and that she had graduated from Peters in '01 with her son. So Mrs. X looked through her son's yearbook, found me (since I was the only Rigatti in my grade) and then looked up my mom in the phone book to call her and accuse me of hitting her. There are just a few problems with this story:
1. I don't drive a Chevy.
2. I was at home last night at 9:30 when the accident supposedly happened. Thank goodness Guy was here to give me an alibi!
3. The girl had twins in the backseat of her car. As you can probably tell from my perfect figure, I obviously haven't had children, let alone twins. Okay, maybe I don't have a perfect figure, but I still don't have any kids.
4. The girl had Progressive insurance. I have State Farm.
5. The insurance was in the girl's dad's name -- Ray. My dad's name is Joe and he's been dead for 9 years.
My mom said the woman was getting upset with her over the phone, acting like my mom was just trying to protect her daughter and it really was me that hit her. She also claimed that the girl who hit her looked "exactly" like my picture in the yearbook. It obviously wasn't me, and I know it wasn't me, but it really bothers me that someone would have the gall to accuse me of something and call and bother my mom about it just because she's too stupid to keep track of important information like that. I really hope I get to hear the end of the story and find out who actually hit the woman and if I have a bizarro twin out there, but for now, that's all she wrote.
Apparently this woman, who I will call Mrs. X, was riding her motorcycle last night when a girl in a Chevy hit her somehow. They exchanged information, but the idiot woman lost it and decided to go browsing through the phone book looking for the perpetrator. For whatever reason, she remembered that the girl's last name was supposedly Rigatti and that she had graduated from Peters in '01 with her son. So Mrs. X looked through her son's yearbook, found me (since I was the only Rigatti in my grade) and then looked up my mom in the phone book to call her and accuse me of hitting her. There are just a few problems with this story:
1. I don't drive a Chevy.
2. I was at home last night at 9:30 when the accident supposedly happened. Thank goodness Guy was here to give me an alibi!
3. The girl had twins in the backseat of her car. As you can probably tell from my perfect figure, I obviously haven't had children, let alone twins. Okay, maybe I don't have a perfect figure, but I still don't have any kids.
4. The girl had Progressive insurance. I have State Farm.
5. The insurance was in the girl's dad's name -- Ray. My dad's name is Joe and he's been dead for 9 years.
My mom said the woman was getting upset with her over the phone, acting like my mom was just trying to protect her daughter and it really was me that hit her. She also claimed that the girl who hit her looked "exactly" like my picture in the yearbook. It obviously wasn't me, and I know it wasn't me, but it really bothers me that someone would have the gall to accuse me of something and call and bother my mom about it just because she's too stupid to keep track of important information like that. I really hope I get to hear the end of the story and find out who actually hit the woman and if I have a bizarro twin out there, but for now, that's all she wrote.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Noteworthy Blogs
I've recently come upon a few very funny blogs dedicated to specific topics. One is called Cake Wrecks and has posts with -- you guessed it -- pictures and entries about terrible-looking cakes. The other is a blog about the unnecessary use of quotation marks that plagues society today. They're both good for a laugh. Check 'em out.
Cake Wrecks
The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotations
Cake Wrecks
The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotations
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Celebrity Babble
Some may call it invasive and obnoxious. Others may call it our right as fans. Whatever they call it, though, I can't help but enjoy the guilty pleasure of celebrity gossip. I fall right into Yahoo!'s trap every day when they post links with tantalizing headlines like "Morgan Freeman in terrible car accident. Kelsey Grammar hospitalized. Ryan Seacrest bitten by a shark." I can't help but to click and get the scoop. Just today, I encountered two interesting tidbits of celebrity gossip -- one rather infuriating and one thought-provoking (as far as light-hearted trash can provoke thoughts, anyway).
The first was an article about Jennifer Love-Hewitt and her new, slim self. Apparently little miss "I am proud of my big booty that was photographed at the beach last summer" has lost 18 pounds. Normally this would be just another drop in the celebrity-weight-loss bucket, but it annoys me because of the big to-do after paparazzi and vicious Americans in general criticized Jennifer for being chunky when photos of her in a teeny bikini popped up last year at about this time. Granted, her butt did look kind of big -- at least compared to the waifs we're used to seeing in US Weekly. But sizes or perceived sizes of rear-ends aside, she responded to the criticism with a lot of dignity and stated that she loves her body, the photos were at bad angles, etc. Normal girls everywhere stood up and cheered for a celebrity that wasn't afraid to be labeled as having some meat on her bones. And now, a year later, we find out that she has gone and lost 18 pounds. Sure, she has a right to change her body if she'd like to, but if she was truly happy and unaffected by the negative comments made last year, why the need for such a drastic change? It reminds me of when Jessica Simpson's little sister (She Who Shall Not Be Named) preached to girls about self-acceptance, confidence, and the like, and then went and got a nose job. Must everyone succumb to the pressure of Hollywood?
The second article I found was one that showed pictures of celebrities and their twin siblings. Did you know that Jeremy London has a twin brother? Neither did I, but I also didn't know who Jeremy London was until I saw that article. Someone I did recognize, though, was Scarlett Johannsenn. She's got a taller and much less busty twin brother. The last person the article mentioned was Ashton Kutcher. Not only does he have a not-so-easy-on-the-eyes twin brother, but his twin brother also has cerebral palsy! Talk about getting the short end of the stick. That genetic gyp rivals the one with the set of twins on Little People, Big World, where one twin is normal-sized and the other is a little person. I only hope Ashton shares some of his riches with his brother...and that Jeremy helps Zak get something down from the tall shelf every once in a while.
The first was an article about Jennifer Love-Hewitt and her new, slim self. Apparently little miss "I am proud of my big booty that was photographed at the beach last summer" has lost 18 pounds. Normally this would be just another drop in the celebrity-weight-loss bucket, but it annoys me because of the big to-do after paparazzi and vicious Americans in general criticized Jennifer for being chunky when photos of her in a teeny bikini popped up last year at about this time. Granted, her butt did look kind of big -- at least compared to the waifs we're used to seeing in US Weekly. But sizes or perceived sizes of rear-ends aside, she responded to the criticism with a lot of dignity and stated that she loves her body, the photos were at bad angles, etc. Normal girls everywhere stood up and cheered for a celebrity that wasn't afraid to be labeled as having some meat on her bones. And now, a year later, we find out that she has gone and lost 18 pounds. Sure, she has a right to change her body if she'd like to, but if she was truly happy and unaffected by the negative comments made last year, why the need for such a drastic change? It reminds me of when Jessica Simpson's little sister (She Who Shall Not Be Named) preached to girls about self-acceptance, confidence, and the like, and then went and got a nose job. Must everyone succumb to the pressure of Hollywood?
The second article I found was one that showed pictures of celebrities and their twin siblings. Did you know that Jeremy London has a twin brother? Neither did I, but I also didn't know who Jeremy London was until I saw that article. Someone I did recognize, though, was Scarlett Johannsenn. She's got a taller and much less busty twin brother. The last person the article mentioned was Ashton Kutcher. Not only does he have a not-so-easy-on-the-eyes twin brother, but his twin brother also has cerebral palsy! Talk about getting the short end of the stick. That genetic gyp rivals the one with the set of twins on Little People, Big World, where one twin is normal-sized and the other is a little person. I only hope Ashton shares some of his riches with his brother...and that Jeremy helps Zak get something down from the tall shelf every once in a while.
Funniest Game Show Moments
Back in college, I was lucky enough to tune in to a show called Funniest Game Show moments. It had all kinds of bloopers and funny moments from, well, game shows. Ever since then, I've enjoyed going on YouTube to watch compilations of even more of these moments. If you're bored, just go to Youtube and type in "stupid game show answers" and you should come up with quite a few good results. If you don't want to watch them, though, here are some of my favorite answers, mostly from Family Feud.
-Name a body part that people have only one of.
-Big toe.
-Name something made of wool.
-A sheep.
-Name a reason for kneeling.
-To be beheaded.
-Name a slang term that means "wife."
-Bitch
-Name something you might buy that could turn out to be phony.
-A horse.
-Something you squeeze.
-Peanut butter.
There are soooo many hilarious game show moments out there. My favorite part is the look on the person's face when they realize what a dumb answer they just gave. Priceless!
-Name a body part that people have only one of.
-Big toe.
-Name something made of wool.
-A sheep.
-Name a reason for kneeling.
-To be beheaded.
-Name a slang term that means "wife."
-Bitch
-Name something you might buy that could turn out to be phony.
-A horse.
-Something you squeeze.
-Peanut butter.
There are soooo many hilarious game show moments out there. My favorite part is the look on the person's face when they realize what a dumb answer they just gave. Priceless!
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