Teen Mom 2: "Switching Gears"

It was a somewhat calm week in Teen Mom-ville, but we still had a few big developments with the girls. Leah got engaged, Aubree started walking, and Barbara wasn't an evil witch. Read on for this week's Good, Bad & Ugly.

The Good:

• Corey's knot-tying skills. You'd have to either have a really cheap ring or be mighty confident in your ability to tie a good fisherman's knot to pull of this kind of proposal. Luckily it went off without a hitch.

• Jenelle & Barbara. I honestly didn't think they'd ever make it to this category, and, by the looks of next week's preview, they should probably relish this spot while they still can. Apparently Barbara took her meds this week because she and Jenelle were actually able to hold a civil conversation. And what's that I hear? Was that a compliment that just came out of Barbara's mouth? She actually told Jenelle that she's proud of her. Even though she slightly dissed Kieffer when expressing her hope that Jenelle would meet a cute guy "with potential," the grin on her face while she said it was too funny not to excuse the rude remark. On Jenelle's end, she managed to find a job (though it didn't look like the most challenging job interview in the world) and start college. I think, deep down, Jenelle is a pretty intelligent girl, but she's got a lot of barriers, many of them self-inflicted, on her road to success.

• Leah. Every week I talk about the strength of Leah and Corey's relationship and their unnatural maturity for their age. But this week, I was simply impressed with Leah alone. She takes hit after hit in Ali's health battle, but never once has her first concern been her own suffering or hardships. I know if it were me, there'd probably be at least one whimper of "why me?" but Leah has been solely focused on her daughter's future, not her own. And what better sign of a good mother is there than a willingness to self-sacrifice for your child.

The Bad:

• Chelsea's lack of ambition. Sorry, Chels, but moving and reuniting with your baby daddy do not qualify as life changes that are potentially detrimental to your studies. Having a baby in your teens? Okay, that's fair, but if Jenelle finished high school, there's no reason you can't. I don't really know if there will be any impact on Chelsea's life for choosing to get a "Good Enough Diploma" over a conventional one, but I think it's sad that she's taking the easy way out yet again. Kailyn is working two jobs, going to college and taking care of a baby. Chelsea is tanning, giving herself horrible hairstyles and trying to get Adam out of bed. There's no reason a few high-school classes can't be squeezed into that "demanding" schedule.

The Ugly:

• Bitter Betties. Jo and Kieffer win the Ugly award this week for their sour-puss attitudes. Kieffer brazenly made the blanket statement that "if you can't get a job in Wilmington, you're a dud-muffin," but he's starting to look a little doughy, if you ask me. I'm sure he's not applying for positions that require NASA-worthy intelligence or the etiquette skills of Emily Post, so I don't know why he isn't having any success on his job hunt, but the least he could do is be a little more supportive of his sugar mama. Is it Jenelle's fault that you don't know what psychology is? No. So why don't you humor her and take a look at her restaurant menu? As for Jo, hasn't he learned that sending vicious text messages is never a good idea? It's one thing to spew nasty comments in the heat of an argument, but to put them in writing is never smart. I can't decide why he is hanging on to Kailyn so tightly; it seems that it's most likely out of a bruised ego for being rejected, but Jo needs to grow up and start finding better ways to express his emotions.
  

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• When I saw the way Corey proposed, I thought it was really cute and creative -- much better than a candlelit dinner and roses, in my opinion. But it's funny that both Leah's mom and sister called him a redneck for his "will you marry me" on the lake. I guess it's all about perspective.

Quotable Quotes:

• "If there was a pause button, I'd probably push it right now." - Chelsea
  

"If there was a rewind button, I'd have pushed it a long time ago." - Randy

Glee: "Blame it on the Alcohol"

After a long delay due to illness, I finally sat down and watched last Tuesday's Glee. I really liked the past two episodes, but the third time wasn't a charm for me. My distaste for the episode probably has a lot to do with my personal feelings about alcohol and drinking, so I'll be interested to hear what others thought of "Blame it on the Alcohol." But, whether you loved it or hated it, here are my Good, Bad and Ugly.

The Good:

• Mike O'Malley. Did Mike O'Malley win an Emmy for this role? If not, he definitely deserves one. If so, he deserves another. I love the way Mike plays Burt as such a reasonable, honest, understanding father. How many dads are baking souffles with their sons on a Saturday morning or having an open conversation about sexuality? I think Kurt's contempt is totally unwarranted. Burt truly deserves a Father of the Year award.

The Bad:

• Kurt. I still love Chris Colfer, but Kurt really gets on my nerves when he turns into a spoiled diva. It's reminiscent of the days in season one when his unrequited love toward Finn led to many a whine-fests, but I thought he had grown up a bit since then. Apparently not. His disapproval of Blaine's "experiment" with Rachel obviously stemmed more out of jealousy than a genuine concern for his friend. And he had the gall to play the gay card with his dad when he was scolded (mildly, at that) for having a boy sleep over. It's like Burt said -- he would never let Finn have a girl sleep over in his bed. Homophobia has nothing to do with it. Though I think storylines like this can help make Kurt a more well-rounded character, I wish well-rounded meant that he changed and developed rather than literally going around in circles.
• The music. Was there even one decent musical number in this entire episode? We might as well have heard a bunch of songs about Rachel's accessories, because there was nothing exciting or new about any of the performances this week. Although Figgins' pronunciation of Ke$ha was funny, it didn't make sitting through another tired version of a played-out song worthwhile.

The Ugly:

• Rachel's dress at the house party.

• Glee's moral code. This is where I may begin to alienate people, but I hate it when Glee tries to tackle big moral issues like religion or drinking, mostly because I'm strongly inclined to disagree with their point of view. I have always seen Glee as an hour-long episode of Full House, where everything wraps up so neat and tidy at the end, but the problem with that is you end up with watered-down takes on serious issues. There's a few reasons that the "giggle juice" episode bothered me, so, in order to make it easier on myself, I'll give you a nice bulleted list that you can choose to either read or vigorously scroll through with a frown on your face.
• Reason #1: Bad drunk acting. Matthew Morrison played one of the worst drunks I have ever seen. Lea Michele was a close second. Episodes about drinking in shows with actors of questionable talent are unfortunate if for no other reason than having to sit through the overacting.
• Reason #2: The implication that alcohol fuels creativity. First we have Lady Gaga's assertion that she smokes a lot of weed and drinks a lot of whiskey when she writes. But if her message didn't make it loud and clear to the masses, well, now we have Glee to reinforce it. Granted, they threw in one line at the end with Rachel saying that alcohol didn't help her songwriting, but the overarching theme was one that drinking is a perfectly good way to take your talent to the next level.
• Reason #3: Tiny excuses for bigger problems. Apparently if Finn is labeled a designated driver and Kurt stays sober to impress his crush, that's a fair representation of the portion of kids who may choose to stay above the influence. No matter that Finn must drive a school bus if he's the only DD for all of the kids at the party. I feel like Glee throws in these little quips here and there to appear like they're presenting a fair and balanced view of the issue, when in reality, they're only doing the bare minimum.
• Reason #4: And this is the biggie. The moral of this Glee story, as Beiste came right out and said, was that you can't just lecture kids. The best you can do is make them aware of the dangers and hope they're smart enough to make the right decision. This sounds to me a lot like those parents in high school who let teenagers drink at their house because "they're going to do it regardless, so I'd rather have them do it at my home." Sorry, Beiste and irresponsible high-school parents, but there's a lot more you can do beyond just crossing your fingers that your moronic teenage children will somehow make a wise choice. First of all, you can put off attending the Rosie O'Donnell cruise until your daughter and her peer-pressuring friends are out of the house. Second, you can make it a little more difficult for them to obtain alcohol -- a locked liquor cabinet is no obstacle for a seasoned high-school drunk. Third, you can set a good example. Will's millisecond of concern about being a role model went out the window as soon as he stepped into Rosalita's Roadhouse. Kids listen to what you do, not what you say. Will is an adult and while it's legal for him to drink, it's obviously not the best example for his impressionable flock of singing chickadees. Again, we had a brief revelation at the end of the show when Will passed out his pledge forms, but there was still no strong conviction that underage drinking is unacceptable. "Put it off till after nationals," he says, "but even then, feel free to break your promise and call me if you get in a jam." There's no question that underage drinking is a touchy subject, but this is why I'd prefer that Glee stay far away from these kinds of issues entirely. There's just no way they can do them justice.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• I enjoyed Becky and her xylophone as a throwback to "Grease."
• How funny is it that Beiste brings an entire rotisserie chicken for lunch?
• I don't like the running gag with Sue calling Emma the wrong name. Arrested Development did it first, and they did it better.

Quotable Quotes:

• "Unfortunately, Kitty Dukakis could not be here because of disinterest."

I'm looking forward to hearing everyone's thoughts on this episode. Leave a comment or message me on Facebook and tell me what you thought.

The Office: Threat Level Midnight

A short while ago, a friend challenged me to write a blog post with just Goods -- no Bad or Ugly. I poo-pooed the idea, mainly because I didn't think I'd ever watch a show and have no bones to pick with it. That was before I saw last night's amazing episode of "The Office." So, in order to stay somewhat on-theme, I'm going to give the Good, Great and Awesome from "Threat Level Midnight." I only hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. And if not, well, "go puck yourself!"

The Good:

• Blasts from the past. Roy, Karen, Jan, Helene. How fun was it to see the people who have been in Michael's life over the past 11 years? I have to admit, I didn't notice Madge or a few other obscure characters, but I did notice that Carole Stills, Realtor, sold Michael Scarn his mansion. "Threat Level Midnight" was like an Easter egg hunt for seasoned Office viewers, and the rewards were plentiful.

• Michael and Holly. I really liked that Holly was underwhelmed by Michael's movie. Home movies are always more entertaining for the people who are in them, so it made perfect sense that she really wasn't enjoying the viewing party. I also liked their spat/Michael's hissy fit and their subsequent reconciliation, even though it did involve a small amount of PDA.

The Great:

• Threat Level Midnight. The actual movie was deliciously cheesy. It had everything Michael claimed it did -- action (gun fights on skates, exploding hockey pucks), heart (the death of Cherokee Jack, Michael Scarn's ability to fight back against all odds) and symbolism (well, I'll let you figure this one out on your own). The special effects, or lack thereof, were so appropriate for a do-it-yourself blockbuster, and the amateur acting was delightful. Whether it was Jim's evil laugh or Oscar blinking after being strangled, I thought the actual actors' bad acting was perfectly well played.

• The Scarn. Since the Cha-Cha Slide, Part Two never came to fruition, I'm predicting that The Scarn is the next big wedding line dance. It's got a beat and you can dance to it -- what more can you ask for?

The Awesome:

• If I had to pinpoint one reason why I'd give this episode two thumbs up, I think it'd be because of the way each Office character shined through in their role in "Threat Level Midnight." First, you have Michael, who sees himself as invincible yet vulnerable. He can dodge bullets at point-blank range, but the death of his mentor will bring a single tear to his eye. Then there was Jim who, even in his role as Goldenface, couldn't resist taunting Dwight. You can't tell me you didn't laugh when Jim kept saying, "hm?" after Dwight said his line. And speaking of Dwight, not even a sophisticated robot could rid itself of the mannerisms of our friendly neighborhood beet farmer. He went rogue and dove in front of Michael to stop a bullet, despite the fact that it wasn't in the script. And he used his signature move, the high leg kick, to knock down the gate and save the hostages. From Jan's lounge act to Andy's overcompensating bartender to Angela's conservative bachelorette party outfit, every bit of "Threat Level Midnight" rang true to form.

I could honestly go on and on about all of the funny moments from this episode, but instead I'd recommend that you go back and watch it again yourself. Trust me, it only gets funnier!

Quotable Quotes:

• "After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting, and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie, 'Threat Level Midnight.'"
  
• "Heads I do it. Tails I don't. Best out of seven."
• "It's going to take a lot more than a bullet to the brain, lungs, heart, back and balls to kill Michael Scarn" (I almost thought he was going to say, "...to kill the Loch Ness monster"!)

Top Chef: Tarjay

It's down to seven chefs, but it wasn't a lucky number for one of them. In an episode full of puppets and bromances, there was a fair amount of good, bad and ugly as well. Here's my take.

The Good:

• The quickfire challenge. Though I can't imagine how awkward it must have been to be in the Top Chef kitchen with puppets judging your work, I enjoyed watching this quickfire from afar. You'd think each chef would have at least one cookie recipe up his or her sleeve, but apparently that's not the case. Richard fell back on his old crutch, liquid nitrogen, and his zucchini ice cream "cookie" failed to impress Cookie Monster's palate (though his daughter did get a shout-out from Elmo, so it wasn't a total wash). It was fun to see the chefs taken out of their element and venture into the world of sweet. I was actually surprised that no one made a savory cookie, but I'd really like to get a recipe for Dale's winning pretzel/potato chip concoction.

• The elimination challenge. Does anyone else remember when Toys 'R Us used to give away a shopping spree, and you could grab as many toys as possible within the set time limit? That's what the chefs running around Target reminded me of. Though, in the previews, when they showed everyone talking about how difficult the challenge was, I honestly expected something a bit more outlandish, I guess cooking a meal for 100 people at Target is harder than it sounds. I just liked seeing Dale cook grilled cheese with an iron. You know what they say -- necessity is the mother of invention!

The Bad:

• Top Chef goes "Survivor." Before the opening credits, we were treated to Richard and Dale forming an "alliance." Then, during the Target challenge, we saw the extent of Mike and Angelo's bromance. While I'm all for camaraderie in the kitchen, I'm wondering why chefs suddenly think they're on a different reality competition show. It's not "outwit, outplay, outlast." It's out-cook, period. And evidently it was difficult for Angelo to out-cook his competitors when he was more worried about finding a can opener for clueless Mikey than fixing his overly salty baked potato soup.

• Angelo's exit. I wasn't devastated to see Angelo leave, but it's dismissals like his that make me upset with the Top Chef judging system. He is obviously more talented than Tiffany, but he had one bad dish and it was his undoing. The judges have always said that they only take into account the chef's meal for that particular challenge, but I think it'd be better if there was some way to account for past successes. Otherwise it's too easy for someone to scoot by in the bottom three every time while a better chef is sent home for one (big) mistake.

The Ugly:

• Carla's time-management skills. I would love to see Carla cluck her way to the Top Chef finale, but it seems like the competition is starting to ruffle her feathers. Why did she spend so much time beautifying her table? I know it's hard to resist Target's incredible bargains (as shown by the hat Tiffany snagged during her shopping spree), but unless the challenge was to make a half-decent meal and serve it on a pretty tablecloth, Carla was bound to be on the bottom. She's really lucky that Angelo's heavy hand left her to puree another day.

Did you enjoy this episode? Were you happy with Dale's wins and Angelo's loss? Will you now try to cook a sandwich using your iron?

Glee: "The Comeback"

This week's Glee was more than just a comeback for Sue and Rachel. It was a comeback for the entire show. I don't know what happened since Glee left us at Christmastime, but we've gotten two weeks in a row of quality viewing, so I'm willing to concede that it's not a fluke. Whatever the writers are doing, I sure hope they keep it up. Now let me break it down for you, Bieber style.

The Good (Baby, Oh!):

• Sue. Love Jane Lynch. Love Sue Sylvester. When Glee was at its lowest point, Sue was one of the only things that kept me watching. Her one-liners and rips on Will's hair will never get old to me. But not only did we get plenty of classic Sue, with her mud-slinging and devious plans to destroy the Glee Club, we also got to see her softer side during her "field trip to the House of Sad." If your heart wasn't warmed even just a little by the sight of Sue Sylvester with a pediatric cancer patient on her lap singing, "This Little Light of Mine," well, I'd be hard-pressed to say that you have a heart.

• Rachel. Thank goodness Rachel and Finn broke up. It's been so long since we've seen Miss Berry's passion and drive for something other than the approval of an oafish football player. I loved that she paid Brittany to establish her as a trendsetter, but it was even better when it backfired. Apparently sexy schoolgirl/librarian chic is only trendy when worn by an airhead with a heart of gold rather than a bossy know-it-all. I could totally sympathize with Rachel's conniption fit about the proper styling of leg warmers, though. I am not a rule breaker, and neither is she, but it doesn't hurt anyone to think outside of the box sometimes. Unfortunately it takes more than a good idea (like singing an original song for regionals) to move mountains. Hopefully the self-proclaimed "team leader and arbiter of all that is good" will take Finn's advice and shove a great original song down the other kids' throats, if for no other reason than for me to see if a Glee original can do as well as their covers on the Billboard charts.

• The Justin Bieber Experience. When not even Mike Chang's abs can distract Tina from an intense game of Angry Birds, you know there's trouble in Asian paradise. I'm sure Emma has a pamphlet on how to put the spark back in your high-school romance, but rather than seeking help from their trusty guidance counselor, the boys opted to go Bieber. Though I could have done with one less actual Bieber song, I thought this whole subplot was really cute, and it reminded me of the days of the Acafellas (what did ever happen to Ken Tanaka, anyway?)

• Mercedes & Rachel have a diva-off. Sue's diabolical plan didn't quite work out as expected, but it was a great excuse to hear Amber Riley & Lea Michele belt it out with both attitude and emotion, the most essential ingredients to being a diva. My only complaint is that I hate the faces Lea Michele makes when she sings. But a few squinty eyes and gaping mouths here and there are not enough to take away from the goodness that was this duet.

The Bad (Baby, no!)

• Lauren's singing debut. From the outfit to the song choice to the backup dancers, this was a disaster waiting to happen. Although it did enlighten us as to the Glee Clubbers' choice of undergarments (or at least how Lauren would imagine them to be), it was not worth the two minutes of pain I had to endure while listening to this "anthem." Let's call a plus-sized spade a plus-sized spade: the girl can't sing. She can, however, do a mean hair twirl. Let's just hope that Lauren's hair twirl doesn't become a regular thing to compensate for her lack of vocal ability a la Mike Chang's dancing. I'm perfectly fine with having a non-singing, non-hair-twirling member of the Glee Club, as long as she makes me laugh.

The Ugly:

• Quinn. Okay, I will reluctantly admit that Diana Agron is one of the most beautiful creatures, physically, to walk the halls of McKinley High, but a seductive voice and good hair won't get you far in life when you're actually a sneaky bitch. At least Santana wears her bitchiness on her sleeve. Quinn just flits from boy to boy with no regard for the feelings she's trampling underneath her patent-leather Mary Janes. Despite the fact that Sam is fluent in an imaginary language and his mouth-to-face ratio is way off, he deserves better. His hostile breakup strategy wasn't the greatest, but Quinn got what she had coming to her.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Does anyone else want Will to strike up a romance with the pediatric nurse? Maybe he wasn't referring to his ukulele when he said he brought his "special little guy."
  
• Why was Lauren the only one not wearing plaid for the "Sing It for the World" routine?
• Do you think I could get my husband to start watching Glee for the date ideas? Ice rink bumper cars? Painting coasters? Where do I sign up?

Quoatable Quotes:

• "I don't care how depressed I am. I will not date a curly."
• "You're lucky I left my blow gun at home, airbags, 'cause I got a clear shot at your nonnies."

What do you think -- has Glee made a comeback?

Teen Mom 2: "Taking Sides"

The episode was called "Taking Sides," but it seemed like the main focus this week was simple: communication. Over cotton candy at the county fair, on Jo's dad's "beautiful bench" or on Chelsea's toilet, the whole Teen Mom crew was having deep conversations. Even Kailyn's mom came out of the woodwork for a heart-to-heart. Though what they said wasn't always productive, everyone had something to say. Here's my two cents.

The Good:

• Megan. I told off Adam in my head when he suggested that if he had to pay rent, Megan should be subject to the same rules, so I was shocked and impressed when Megan brought it up on her own during her conversation with Chelsea. She's obviously not free-loading, and she gave her new roommate the old college try before deciding that she had to move out. Kudos to Megan for standing up for herself and making the decision to part ways with the "happy family."
• Kailyn. I like a girl who can think for herself, and Kailyn is one of those girls. I'm slightly sad to see her move back in with Jo's parents because, in a way, I think it chains her to a life that she doesn't want. But I'm glad she was at least honest with Jo and his mom and dad about her intentions for the relationship (or lack thereof). Kailyn did say last week that she still loves Jo, but, no matter what The Beatles say, love isn't all you need.
• Leah & Corey/Danny & Sandy/the poster children for "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Week after week, Leah & Corey stay strong in the midst of stress and disappointment. Ali's developmental issues would be enough on their own to put strain on any relationship, but Leah & Corey just sail through life like their biggest problem is a bit of mismatched camouflage. Normally I'd hate to see a young couple rush into marriage, but in their case, I'm excited that Corey bought a ring. I wouldn't be too upset if they waited a while to have Corey Jr., though.

The Bad:

• Barbara & Jenelle. For every bit of positive communication we got with the Goods, we saw the other side of the stick with Barbara and Jenelle. They couldn't hang crepe paper without bickering, and a simple conversation about Jace's birthday present, though hilarious, quickly turned into an argument. In my opinion, neither a Spiderman quad nor a silver cup is the best gift for a 1-year-old, but what do I know? Jenelle was genuinely proud of her gift for Jace, but Barbara just couldn't let her feel good about herself. Something I've learned in life is that it's important to be honest, but it's also important to pick your battles. You may think you're helping when you point out someone else's shortcomings, but a lot of times it's more self-serving than charitable.

The Ugly:

• Chelsea & Adam's 3-ring circus. Sometimes train wrecks are fun to watch. Other times you just have to look away and try to forget you saw anything at all. The longer I watch Chelsea and Adam on this show, the less I enjoy it. You have a spoiled-rotten, delusional girl, a lazy, abusive mooch of a boy and a dad who has created a monster and is powerless to stop it. Randy sits back and plays the concerned, helpless dad when what he needs to do is throw Chelsea in that red Beetle and park it back at his house, where she should be promptly chained to a desk until she finishes high school and gets her act together. Adam, AKA crab-ass, as Megan calls him, is obviously on the same wavelength as Chelsea and her sense of entitlement. And he definitely hasn't learned his lesson when it comes to sending nasty texts. The part-time construction worker, full-time video-gamer needs to get a reality check. But then again, why bother? He found a girl whose daddy will pay their way, and he can sit back and play "Call of Duty" all day long instead of taking care of diaper duty. Maybe Adam is actually a genius! ....Nah!
  

Quotable Quotes:

"Maybe you'll meet a nice guy."
"Dad, I have a boyfriend."
"I know, but maybe you'll meet a nice guy."


Did you enjoy the episode? Whose side are you on this week?

The Office: PDA

Upon first viewing, I walked away feeling like this was one of the worst Office episodes in a long time. This could have had something to do with the fact that I was exercising while watching (and I hate exercising more than Stanley hates it when someone does his Sudoku), but my second viewing didn't prove much different. I laughed a little more, but I still felt that "PDA" was irritating, unappealing and largely lacking in humor, much like PDA in real life!

The Good:

• Gabe. Zach Woods was possibly the saving grace of this entire episode. Though his relationship with Erin is kind of like a benign (B-9) tumor, growing but not really serving a purpose, seeing Gabe plan an intricate treasure hunt (not to be confused with a scavenger hunt) for Valentine's Day was quite entertaining. For any other girl, this would probably be a great Valentine's gift, but for simple-minded Erin, a copy of Shrek 2 and a shiny object would have been more appropriate. And not only did we get to see Gabe dominate Valentine's Day, but he played a major role in the Michael/Holly storyline, too. Apparently when the HR rep is breaking all kinds of HR protocol, the corporate lackey steps in. I don't know what Gabe's title actually is, but if Holly elopes with Michael and Toby gets killed in a freak jury accident, I would like to see him take over in Human Resources. After all, he may not have a clue when it comes to his own love life, but he can be quite insightful about other people's relationships.

• Andy & Erin. As much as I like watching Gabe struggle romantically, I really want Andy and Erin to get back together. It's got to happen eventually because they're clearly perfect for each other, so I wish they would stop dragging it out so much! I was glad that Erin's inability to complete a fifth-grade-level jigsaw puzzle served as a reason for Andy to escort her through the treasure hunt. Now buck up and tell the girl how it is already, Andy!

The Bad:

• The cold open. How much longer will I have to wait to get a decent laugh before the opening credits? I haven't liked a cold open since "Classy Christmas," and this was the worst one yet. So, let me get this straight: Darryl's 97-year-old grandma dies, and Pam has everyone sign a card. Somehow everyone thinks they're signing a birthday card, so their messages are clearly inappropriate, but WHY would Pam ever give it to Darryl? I'm not even doubting the chances of something like that happening because I could see Stanley, Oscar and crew just blindly signing without realizing what the purpose of the card is, but to think that Pam would actually hand over the dud is just stupid. Maybe I could have accepted this opening if the birthday greetings inside the card were even remotely funny, but they were just generic celebratory messages. Are these the same people who signed Meredith's birthday card back in season one?

The Ugly:

• Michael & Holly. I, much like Sabre, am 100% tolerant of Office romances. But when romance crosses the line into booby-honking, butt-honking, all the honkings, the one where you start in a crouched position, then you leap -- I can't handle it. Holly may suddenly find Michael irresistible despite his DayGlo goatee made of cheeseball powder, but I would have preferred her response to his animal magnetism to have been a little more subtle. We went from zero to 60 in the Scott/Flax relationship in one week, and, if this is what we have to look forward to, it may have been better had it crashed and burned. There are a lot of times in the show when the things the other characters may find annoying or disturbing are entertaining for the viewers, but this was a case where I felt like I was one of the cast, creeped out and annoyed at Michael and Holly's extreme lack of tact. No matter how many times I cleared my throat, I couldn't get them to stop being so ridiculous, and it really took a toll on my enjoyment of this episode.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Did it seem like Darryl's facial hair was in various stages of growth at different points in the episode? At the beginning and then later, he has a normal, subtle goatee, but in the conference room it looks like he is clean-shaven.

Quotable Quotes:

• "Blue Wasabi is so good, but get the cheeseburger. They say they won't do it, but they will if you make a scene." - Phyllis
  
• "It goes to show that everything you want in life, you get. And you can't work for it. It just comes to you." - Michael
  
• "Boner Bomb, starring Jason Statham. Or we go against type with a Jesse Eisenberg or a Michael Cera."
  

Top Chef: Jimmy Fallon

The competition on Top Chef is getting tighter than a pair of Angelo's pants. We are down to eight chefs, and it's about that time when an extra pinch of salt or looking at Padma the wrong way can send you packing. This week's episode with Jimmy Fallon was a fun one, so without further ado, let me go all "New York Times reviewer up in this bitch."

The Good:

• The quickfire challenge. A fondue challenge! Fondue is, according to Fabio, "a pot of boiling something." Unless, of course, you're Richard Blais and fondue is actually a pot of liquid nitrogen. Either way, it was enjoyable to see what each chef came up with for their quickfire creation. Unfortunately the winning dish wasn't going to be a featured menu item at The Melting Pot or even served up at one of Richard's parents' naked fondue parties. No, the reward for the quickfire-gone-groovy was a Napa Valley Wine Weekend which had to be hard-fought from the claws of the other competitors/judges. The chefs ranked each other's fondue dishes, but the whole thing played out with a lot less drama than was probably expected. Aside from the usual disses during confessionals, the quickfire was relatively tame. Dale claimed the victory and, much to his chagrin, he will now be forced to take his girlfriend on a romantic trip.

• Carla's hat trick. My favorite Fraggle wins again -- how 'bout that? She humbly restrained herself when announcing her triumph to her competitors in the stew room, but Carla couldn't contain her excitement during her one-on-one interview after the challenge. She's practically won a trip around the world with all the elimination prizes she's racked up, but it's not like she doesn't deserve it. Carla's food is simple, relatable and made with heart. It's quite possible that this is the only woman in Top Chef history who can flap around the kitchen, clucking like a chicken and still manage to be likable. Though she reacted like Miley Cyrus on a bad salvia trip when she found out she would get to cook her beloved chicken pot pie, fate smiled upon Carla this week, and she took full advantage.
  

The Bad:

• Jimmy's vocabulary. I don't know what he wished for when he blew out his birthday candles, but it definitely wasn't a thesaurus. Jimmy may not like mushrooms, mayonnaise or eggplant, but he certainly likes baseball. It lacked laser beams, so Richard's meal was considered a bunt. Antonia was thrown a curve ball, but she swung for the fences. When he wasn't using baseball analogies, Jimmy used words like "doughiness" (okay) and "gravyness" to describe what he desired in a chicken-and-dumplings dish. I loved Jimmy's enthusiasm for the show, but his critiques were a little lacking in variety and complexity. Maybe that's why talk-show hosts don't write their own jokes.

• Fabio. Fabi-no! I had a feeling this was his swan song from the word "boarger," but I hate to see Fabio pack his knives and go. When it really comes down to it, I don't know how he made it this long. He often seemed out of his element when he couldn't fall back on Italian cooking techniques (hence his attempt to make a burger out of a meatball), but Fabio has too many great sound bites to let him go early on. You know in the credits of reality competition shows when it says that the judges consider input from the producers when making their decisions? I think maybe, just maybe, Fabio has eked out of so many tight spots because of his winning personality rather than his winning dishes. And you know what? I'm okay with that. I can't actually taste the food on Top Chef, so, as a viewer, I'd rather be entertained by a man who regales me with stories of walking his pet turtle on a leash than bored by better chefs with dull back stories.

The Ugly:

• Product placement. Nothing could be worse than the blatant touting of sponsor products in "Days of Our Lives," but the Buitoni commercial in the middle of this episode was pretty pathetic. Is anyone actually fooled into buying Buitoni's prepackaged pasta by watching the chefs cook and eat it on the show? While Antonia talked of cooking lobster and shrimp ravioli, they showed her opening a package of three-cheese tortellini. And when the chefs toasted to their dinner, one of the wine glasses in the shot was completely empty! I understand that reality shows cost money to make, and I'm sure Buitoni provides a large amount of funding, but I prefer my commercials to bookend show segments, not interrupt them.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• I found it strange that there were no shots of the chefs on the set of Jimmy Fallon's show simultaneously with the audience. We "heard" cheers and applause, and we saw shots of the audience alone, but do you think they were actually doing this in front of a live audience? I don't like it when television tries to trick me, and this just seemed fishy.
• Why is Tom's restaurant called Colicchio and Sons? Is he really old enough to have sons that can work in the restaurant, or is he just anticipating their future acceptance of the family business?
  

Glee: "Silly Love Songs"

I'll be honest -- I was fed up with Glee after its fall run, and my feelings only compounded by reading story after story about what a horrible person Lea Michele is in real life. The only reason I kept watching every episode was the same reason Lauren ate Puck's crappy chocolates -- I had to make sure they all sucked. A long break and a post-Super Bowl DVR mishap later, I was ready to cut my ties for good. Sure, I'd have a small Glee-shaped hole in my heart (right next to the larger wound from Arrested Development's cancellation), but I knew someday I would wax nostalgic about the good old days of Mr. Schue and his crazy gang of misfits. However, this all took place before I had an hour to spare and didn't want to watch another rerun of Top Chef. I thought I'd give Glee another shot, you know, because my DVR recorded it anyway and I wouldn't want all that effort to go to waste...right? Two watch-throughs and three pages of notes later, I'll admit that I'm as addicted to Glee as Will Schuester is to vests. Oh well. I'd join a 12-step program with him anytime. Now for the Good, Bad and Ugly.
*Hover over the pictures. I dare you.*

The Good:

• PLauren. Not as much of a ring to it as Puckleberry, but I actually liked the Puck/Lauren storyline. I was skeptical at first. I mean, the chances of a guy like him liking a girl like her are, well, about as good as the chances that Finn will give Becky more than a kiss on the cheek. Couples like that just don't happen in real life. But the writers gave me enough witty banter and plausible explanations to stop questioning the relationship and start enjoying it. The "Fat Bottomed Girls" serenade was one of the best songs in the episode, but thankfully Lauren was not flattered by the backhanded compliment. After all, it takes more than just a song to get her juices flowing. And since Puck didn't deliver an envelope of cash or a muffin basket, it appears that some good old-fashioned honesty did the trick. I hope that we get to see more of PLauren in the very near future.

• Kurt. Speaking of honesty, I admired Kurt's openness with Blaine about his feelings. He's right -- in high school, singing duets and smiling at someone can often be taken as "something more." I'm still confused about their relationship status since it seemed like Blaine kind of left it up in the air, but no matter where the writers decide to take it, any storyline with Chris Colfer is a good storyline, in my opinion.

• Santana. It's hard to like someone who looks so darn good in a candy striper's outfit, but Santana was a girl after my own heart this week. I too keep it real and am also hilarious (actually, maybe I'm just a bitch) but when you've got insults that good, it's a crime to let them stay pent up inside of you. I, for one, hope Santana lets the Lima Heights Adjacent in her shine through a little more often.

• Rachel. For the first time in a long time, Rachel wasn't an egotistical diva or a moping whiner! I truly felt her pain when she talked to Finn in the nurse's office about feeling special when he chose her over Quinn because Quinn is prettier. It came from an honest and genuine place, not one that was seeking attention like she normally does. And, to top it all off, we got a fun rendition of Katy Perry's "Firework" instead of the usual tear-filled ballad. Props to Mercedes and her onesie for inspiring Rachel to harness her pain and turn it into something good!

The Bad:

• PYT. Would it be too much to ask for Artie never to rap or narrate the beginning of a song in a "sexy" voice ever again? It's just too much. I know Kevin McHale got his start in a random boy band, but there's got to be a better use for his voice (which is actually really good). And wow, what a surprise -- Mike Chang is dancing. What else is new? I happily fast-forwarded through the Pretty Young Thing duet during my second viewing.

• The Cheerios' sense of style. Now that they've quit the squad, even the guy in the "Previously on Glee" segment reminded us that we'd get to see Brittany, Santana and Quinn in plain clothes. Santana's outfits were okay, but apparently Brittany has a penchant for knee socks and Quinn has a closet full of plaid skirts and cross necklaces. I've never understood why they wear their Cheerios uniforms EVERY DAY in the first place, but now that I've seen how they dress otherwise, I'll be happy when they inevitably re-up with Sue's minions.

• High-school "love." Teenage crushes are a dime a dozen, but I think being truly in love in high school is pretty rare...unless, of course, you go to McKinley High. Finn loved Quinn. Then he loved Rachel. Now he loves them both. Quinn loves Sam (or thinks she does). Blaine loves the GAP manager who he's had coffee with twice. I know it's a Valentine's Day episode, but high-school kids pick their future mates based on what percent discount they'll get to their favorite store or whether hockey or football players are more reliable, so I'd be happy if they toned down the love thing just a tad.

• Glee's take on Christianity. I don't want to get into a religious debate, but Glee's treatment of Quinn's Christianity REALLY bothers me. For a show known for breaking down barriers and dispelling stereotypes, I hate the way they create a caricature of a supposedly religious person. I already mentioned the cross necklaces, and they also did a lot with Quinn's parents in season one that bothered me, but another example from this episode is when Quinn walked into the auditorium and immediately said she had been at church. I know it set up a ridiculously cheesy line about "praying not to come," but she asked Finn to meet her "tomorrow afternoon," so I really doubt she skipped fifth period to squeeze in a quick visit to Lima's local parish.

The Ugly:

• The Warblers' GAP attack. Not only was Blaine's crush tremendously underwhelming, but the song choice, the venue -- all disappointments. Then to have Jeremiah say he got fired for Blaine's public display of affection? Please! The whole scenario was not quite as bad as when the Spirit of St. Louis overshot the tarmac and plowed through seven Warblers, but it sure was close.

• Tina sings/sobs "Funny Valentine." The only good part about this incident, as I'll call it, was seeing the rest of the Glee club's reaction. While the constipated look on Lea Michele's face made me chuckle, I could have done without Tina's painfully awkward attempt at professing her love.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Finn's Christmas/Valentine's gift to Rachel was cute, but has he been carrying it with him at all times for the past two months? How convenient that he had it stashed right there in the middle of the hall at his kissing booth.
  

Quotable Quotes:

• "I just try to be really, really honest with people when I think they suck."
• "Can I be honest? Just with the hair, I think they do." (Kurt in response to Jeremiah saying no one at work knew he was gay)
• "Michelle, I've been covering your section for 15 minutes. Your break is over. And your husband called."
• "I used to think you were smokin', but a lot of that had to do with the fact that I thought you were mixed race, and that never fails to get me going."
  

Teen Mom 2: "Too Much, Too Fast"

This week's episode of "Teen Mom 2" focused mainly on the girls' struggle to live a normal teenage existence in the midst of abnormal teenage circumstances. Whether they dealt with school issues, money problems or daddy woes, Leah, Kailyn, Jenelle and Chelsea realized that balancing motherhood and pretty much anything else is going to be difficult. As Leah's mom would say, "Sorry about your luck, honey. You're a mom." Here are my thoughts on "Too Much, Too Fast."

The Good:

• Kieffer. No, it's not opposite day and you haven't entered a parallel universe. If I judge Kieffer solely upon the way he acted this episode and not what I know from extraneous sources about his shady ways, I can actually be pretty impressed with the guy. Okay, he uses cliches ("Yesterday is history and the future is a mystery...") and doesn't have the most eloquent way of speaking ("Your mom is a douche"), but Kieffer was right on the money more than once this week. He even pointed out to Jenelle that she brings a lot of the drama upon herself. Now if only he would get a job and stop keeping Jenelle out past her bedtime.

• Megan. I wouldn't be surprised if Aubree started calling Megan "Dada," what with the amount of time Megan watches her while Chelsea is too busy staring at Adam's tattoos. Though she could do a little more to help her pal stay motivated when it comes to finishing high school, I think Megan has Chelsea's best interest at heart in regard to the Adam situation. When it comes down to it, men may come and go, but a good girlfriend is one in a million. Do you hear that, Chelsea?

The Bad:

• The Teen Dads. From Jace's nonexistent father to Jo's irrational decisions to Adam and Corey who couldn't change the diaper on a squirmy baby if their lives depended on it, the dads were not looking good this week. First Jo can't hold his tongue, so he gets himself (and, presumably, Kailyn) kicked out of his house. Then he takes his son across state lines and expects Kailyn to drop everything to follow him. Luckily Kailyn's levelheadedness was there to put the brakes on Jo's train of thought. As for Adam, he can't even dress himself, so it's no surprise that he has a hard time diapering Aubree, but I was taken aback by Corey's lack of domesticity. I think his ineptness stemmed from a lack of confidence rather than a lack of skill, but he really needs to step it up in the daddy department. Being a dad is more than helping Leah "on some occasions when she's really tired." I have no doubt that Corey can and will get better at being Mr. Mom, as long as he doesn't break down in tears first. Honestly, have you ever seen a guy cry so much?

The Ugly:

• Barbara & Jenelle. When Barbara's not doling out helpful advice like, "Shut the toilet so the baby doesn't drown," she's yelling at Jenelle. She can't be bothered by crazy talk of 1040s and financial aid because she's too busy anticipating what Jenelle will do wrong next so she can yell at her for it. Granted, there are a lot of times that Jenelle deserves a good talking-to (when she sleeps in on the only day she's supposed to watch her baby, for one), but I can see that there are two sides to this very dysfunctional relationship. The hard part about watching these types of shows is seeing stories like this, when two people would be better served by serious therapy rather than being followed around by cameras all day (and a 15-minute televised interview with Dr. Drew does not count as serious therapy). Jenelle and Barbara clearly have a long history of mistrust and broken lines of communication. I can only hope, for Jace's sake, that someone will intervene and give them the help they so desperately need.
  
• Chelsea. If Leah & Corey are the Catelynn & Tyler of this season, Chelsea has definitely taken on the role of spoiled, out-of-touch-with-reality mom Farrah. It's partially Randy's fault for allowing his darling daughter to live on her own without having to earn her keep, but Chelsea gets harder and harder to watch every week. They say teenagers' brains can't fully process risk and aren't done developing until age 25, so maybe there's still hope for Chelsea in the long run, but in the meantime, she's going to have to overcome a whole lot of flawed logic in order to get her act together. For starters, instead of "spreading out the disappointment," why not avoid doing things that you know will cause disappointment in the first place? Also, "Becoming a Dad" checklists should include things like, "Learn the words to 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star'" and "Check the temperature of milk on your wrist before giving it to the baby." If you have to tell your baby daddy (in all capital letters, with multiple exclamation points) to treat you like a decent human being, he may not be the ideal candidate for a third roommate.

Do you think the girls were taking on too much, too fast this week? Leave your comments below.

Super Bowl XLV: Good, Bad, Ugly

Last night was an evening of epic television. No, I'm not talking about "Glee" does "Thriller" (though I will most likely blog about that later). I'm talking about Super Bowl XLV: Steelers vs. Packers. Black & Gold vs. Green & Yellow. Terrible Towels vs. Hats Made of Synthetic Cheese. If you're looking for a blow-by-blow recap of the game or a side-by-side look at Mike Tomlin's game plan as compared to Chuck Noll's in days of yore, you've come to the wrong place. No, I don't know what an illegal block in the back is and I can't remember if it's "laces in" or "laces out," no matter how many times I see "Ace Ventura," but I hope you'll read on anyway to find out what an average Steelers fan (with above-average writing skills) thinks of the NFL's biggest night in football.

The Good:

• Withitness. When I was a young lass in teacher training at Grove City College, we learned a term called withitness, which was used to describe a teacher's ability to be aware of what is going on in the classroom at all times. I'm going to use this word in the football realm to describe the way the Steelers tend to stay in a game, no matter what obstacles lie before them. A lot of teams would have thrown in the towel after two interceptions and an 18-point deficit, but not our boys in black & gold. Somehow, after all of that, the game last night came down to two minutes on the clock and the ball in Ben's hands. We couldn't execute like we have in the past, but that doesn't change the fact that the Steelers keep it exciting. To think that a Super Bowl ring was only one Hail Mary pass away is the reason football, especially Steelers football, is my favorite sport. Maybe some fans prefer a more comfortable, blow-out win over a nail-biter, but not me. After all, my heart could use a little workout after all that bean & guacamole dip. Thankfully, withitness is one area of the Super Bowl in which the Steelers didn't fail to deliver.
• The fans. After attending Super Bowl XLIII in Tampa, the camaraderie among perfect strangers at a football game will never cease to amaze me. It doesn't matter if you're an 80-year-old, Miller-Lite-chugging grandma from Squirrel Hill or a large black man who takes up your whole seat and half of mine, if you're rooting for the Steelers, you are my new best friend (at least for the next three hours or so). During the game, I loved hearing chants of "Here we go, Steelers" rise above the roar of the crowd. After the game, I was proud to see how composed and gracious yinzers could be. Messages of "Better luck next year" and "Good game, Packers" won out over sour grapes in Facebook statuses and interviews on the local news. We may drink cheap beer and pronounce our words a little funny, but, I tell ya, Steeler Nation really does have class.

The Bad:

• Our Texan hosts. Everything may be bigger in Texas, but for Super Bowl XLV, it sure wasn't better. It started with sub-par weather conditions and civilians getting clobbered by falling ice and went downhill from there. Granted, Mother Nature and acts of God are beyond a host city's control, but selling seats that don't exist -- well, that's an avoidable error. For hours before the game started, news stations reported on the mess that occurred when thousands of ticket holders were herded into holding areas like livestock and told that their overpriced seats were now unfit for human consumption. And, like livestock, these ticket holders proceeded to get rowdy and pee where they stood. Yes, most of the scorned Super Bowl attendees were relocated and compensated for their troubles, but this is sure to go down as one of the biggest debacles in sporting-events history.
• The music. Christina Aguilera kicked off the night with a rousing rendition of her own personal version of the National Anthem, but I think when they say you should take artistic license, they don't mean with the lyrics to our country's most well-known song. I know "o'er the ramparts we watched" doesn't have nearly as much of a ring to it as "I'm a genie in a bottle, baby," but you think she'd have this one committed to memory. Don't get me wrong -- I honestly feel bad for Christina. She's had a rough year, what with the divorce and gaining a second chin and all, but, like Macy Gray and Roseanne Barr (Arnold?) before her, Christina isn't likely to hear the end of this one anytime soon. And as if one bad musical act wasn't enough, we had to endure a half-time show with the overly flashy, under-impressive Black Eyed Peas. Their songs are catchy, and no one in their right mind would want to see Fergie's breast, leaving the NFL at little risk for a "wardrobe malfunction," but the Peas' songs are much too processed to make for a good live show, in my opinion. If I had been accidentally blinded by looking directly into Fergie's sparkly shoulder pads, I might have mistakenly believed I was at a bad "American Idol" audition. Only this time I didn't have Simon Cowell to put me out of my misery.

The Ugly:

• The Steelers lose. This is an obvious one for a Steelers fan. I'm not sure if there's anything worse than being repeatedly told throughout the weeks leading up to the big game that your team won't win...and then having it come true. The Steelers like to prove people wrong. They thrive on being the underdogs, and honestly, in my lifetime, I'm not used to them falling short. I was only in fifth grade when the Steelers lost to the Cowboys, so I think I felt the impact a little more now that football is the highlight of my week rather than an afterthought between wearing stirrup pants and feeding the class guinea pig. I am sure that in a few days, my heartache will subside (especially if they crop-dust the city with antidepressants as they suggested on DVE), but until then, all I have left to say is good game, Packers, and better luck next year, boys.
  

"The Search": Good, Bad, Ugly

The day was finally upon us, folks! What day, you ask? The day the episode that I got to watch them film when I visited the set of "The Office" airs! I have to admit, I had a hard time focusing on the ins and outs of "The Search" because, in my head, I was going through all of the things that changed and were cut out from what we saw them filming. But after a second viewing this morning, I'm fully prepared to give you the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. So, it is on like Genghis Khan wearing Sean John in Bhutan*!

The Good:

• Michael. I'm still in denial that Steve is leaving the show. When an episode is Michael-centric, it can't go wrong, and I don't know how they're going to do it without him. From his rant in Jim's "precious" car to his moral inability to dine-and-dash, every moment of Michael's trek gave me something new to laugh about. I especially loved his Dr. Doolittle routine at the pet shop. It's possible he relates to animals so well because, according to Dwight, his face type is "marsupial," but it would be great to see Michael settle down some day with a wife and a dog and a family. Or maybe he could build an ark and collect pairs of animals in preparation for a great flood. Nah...we all know how that turned out.

• Amy Ryan. Her ears may only be a seven and a four, but I think Amy Ryan's acting is a perfect 40. I get frustrated sometimes with Holly being portrayed as a bit too spacey (more later), but I think Amy Ryan manages whatever she is given just superbly. The way she had tears in her eyes and sucked in her cheek a little bit when she reunited with Michael on the rooftop could have fooled me into thinking she was meeting Tom Hanks on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. Amy Ryan really deserves a role on a hit HBO series or something.

• The caption contest. Unlike the uncomfortable resolutions scenes from a few weeks ago, it's nice to see all of the paper pushers united behind a common cause. A strange caption from Creed was notably absent, but almost everyone else was given a chance to shine when Gabe read through the list of increasingly disparaging remarks. Each character's caption was so fitting to their personality, and their pride at what they had created was adorable. I also loved when Phyllis got caught red-handed when she couldn't close her instant-message screen. Scenarios like this may be the key to the show"s success after Michael's departure.

• Gabe. I think it's great that Zach and the writers are able to develop a character who is increasingly annoying to the other characters on the show yet increasingly endearing to the viewers. You can't help but feel a little sorry for Gabe being the brunt of his coworkers' jokes. After all, he probably can't help being so anal retentive. A man who oozes excitement over shaped post-it notes and goes gaga for powdered seahorse was probably just born that way. If he can manage to stay likable to us while providing a scapegoat for the office's tension, I'm all for it. Gabe is to the rest of the Dunder Mifflinites what Toby was to Michael, no?

The Bad:

• Pam's jokes. An "Ask Pam Beesley" -- sigh...
• Princess Nincompoop. I stated above that I appreciate Amy Ryan's acting, and I do, but what I don't like is when Holly is portrayed as a dunce. Yes, the woman is in love with Michael Scott. Yes, she does a lot of bad character impersonations. But I just can't believe that Holly Flax, a successful HR rep for a large company, would sign up for a cellphone contract under a bogus name (Fanny Smellmore, no less) just to get a free stress ball. Holly's goofiness has always been tempered by a dose of rationality, and being completely absorbed in an egg roll advertisement on a city bench does not smack of rationalism.

The Ugly:

• John Krasinski has perfected the "act-and-dash" since we've come back from Christmas break, but this week's was especially painful. Not only was the "leave Michael at the rest-stop bathroom" situation completely absurd (he really couldn't have waited one more minute for Michael to come out?), but John's bumbling, nervous parent act was cringe-worthy. Whatever he's filming in Alaska, let's hope it ends soon because it doesn't get much worse than being an Ugly for two weeks in a row.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:
Ah, so much to say about this one since we were there for Day 6 of 9 on the shooting schedule. We watched them film the cold open with Kelly and Ryan. We also watched Erin do a few talking heads (most of which did not make the episode), Michael & Holly arriving back at the office (which also did not make the episode), and Holly, Dwight and Erin going out on the search party. There was another part we watched them rehearse with Kevin telling Pam that her doodle was on the fridge -- essentially the same thing you saw Jim do in the episode that aired. I'm not sure if they decided to change it from Kevin to Jim initiating the caption contest or what, but I was surprised to see Jim doling out the clues for where to find the doodle.

• Dwight's line, "You drive. My car is full of fox meat," was different when we watched them rehearse (and in the script we had for the day). When we saw it, he said, "You drive. My car is full of scarecrow heads," which I actually think is funnier than fox meat.
  
• In the script, Creed's picture was supposed to be on the "Thief" board three different times, all showing him at different ages. I don't know why they decided to nix that -- maybe it was too hard to make Creed look younger?
• The cold open actually had a lot more dialogue than they showed. It was really pared down from what we saw them do (which is probably the case with pretty much every scene, I'm guessing). There was also a line from Kelly which was quite confusing, in my opinion. I pointed it out to the people in the green room, and I also heard Rainn on set saying that it didn't make sense. I was happy to see on the episode that they cut it out. Here's how it was written in the script:

Pam: Back it up. What's the story here?
Kelly: Look, this wasn't one of those "we got drunk, let's get married on a whim" things. We were having a beautiful weekend in the Poconos...
It contradicted what she says two lines later when Andy asks when they got married and she says, "Like a week ago, we got hammered and it just felt right." So I was glad to see that my opinion was spot on, as usual. :)

• *Funny enough, Rainn was not yet wardrobed-up when we had our picture taken with him, and he was wearing a shirt that said, "I heart Tehran." It went perfectly with Andy's rhyme scheme for the day.
  

If you haven't seen the pictures from my trip, you can view them by clicking here.

Quotable Quotes:

• "Instead of throwing them all away later, why don't you just throw one away now, into my mouth?"
• "You have no money, but you dined. And you dined so much!"
• "Why does the sun rise in the morning? Why do magnets stick together? Because everybody says so -- everybody."
• Michael, to the snake at the pet store: "You are disgusting. You will never find love."
• Pam, to Jim, on the phone: "Did the phone cut out?"
  

Top Chef: Good, Bad, Ugly

On last night's episode of "Top Chef," the remaining All Stars learned that looks ARE everything and Lorraine Bracco won't put out if she doesn't like your pasta. An Italian elimination challenge proved to be not-so-tailor-made for at least one the three Chef Meatballs, and the episode certainly had its fair share of Good, Bad and Ugly. As always, don't forget to hover over the pictures to whet your appetite.

The Good:

• The elimination challenge. Being 100% Italian myself, there's no way I couldn't like this challenge, but my cultural bias isn't the only reason it ended up in the Good category. I liked the simplicity of what the chefs did at Rao's. Like the food they were instructed to make, the challenge was no-frills, back-to-basics. No liquid nitrogen (sorry, Blais), no foam or mock caviar -- just good old-fashioned cooking, like Fabio's grandma would do it. Yes, asking chefs to dangle upside-down and cook for 7,000 hungry indigenous tribesmen in a zero-gravity chamber would make for good television, but sometimes less is more, and it definitely worked to the show's advantage last night.

• The stew room. The looks on Mike, Angelo, Richard & Dale's faces when Antonia announced her win were priceless. Every episode of "Top Chef" needs a good laugh-out-loud moment, and this was it. Okay, maybe there's a chance that Angelo farted and the editors just made it look like they were reacting to Antonia, but if that's the case, bravo, editors! Bravo.

The Bad:

• Tre's exit. Honestly, I wouldn't have been happy to see any of the bottom three chefs leave the competition, but I thought the Black Italian was whacked before his time. No, I didn't cry upon his departure like I will when Fabio or Blais are told to pack their knives, and I didn't laugh with an evil satisfaction like I did when Jamie and Marcel got the boot, but Tre is a guy I would have liked to see stick around a little longer. The judges seemed to have a lot more disdain for Dale's dish, but apparently a stiff risotto trumps a dry pasta in the world of culinary sins. If nothing else, we now have a better explanation for Dale's persistent anger issues. If that's the meal he likes to cook for his girlfriend and if his girlfriend is anything like Lorraine Bracco...well, let's just say that Dale isn't doing much of the horizontal mambo these days.
  

The Ugly:

• The Rao's bartender's sequined vest. Mobsters are definitely better off sticking with basic black. Where is Isaac Mizrahi when you need him? Oh, wait...he's standing with Padma in the Top Chef kitchen for...
• The quickfire challenge. For a challenge supposedly centered around visual beauty, those chefs sure managed to bring the ugly. Antonia's "Giving Tree"-inspired plate looked like a third grade science project (and was a little too reminiscent of Hung's Smurf village in Season Three), and Angelo's "crocadile" in a bag was just absurd. Thank goodness his lack of spell-check didn't distract Isaac from the truth: there was an ugly bag of goop sitting on the table, masquerading as art. I personally would have chosen Carla's dish over Richard's black ice cream, but I guess that's why they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• What, no prize for the elimination challenge winner? I thought Antonia would at least get an all-you-can-drink pass to the Bracco wine vault. Poor girl couldn't even get a hearty round of applause from her co-contestants.

What did you think of Top Chef Italia?

"Moving In, Moving On": Good, Bad, Ugly

This week, "Moving In, Moving On" showed our teen moms going through some changes in their relationships. Some seemed to be moving in the right direction while others aren't even on the map. Here's the good, bad and ugly of it all..

The Good:

• Leah and Corey. The power couple can do no wrong. Sure, their move into the Love Shack (emphasis on the "shack") was a little fast, but, like Leah said, it's hard to take it slow when you have two kids together. I think Leah and Corey have all the necessary ingredients for a healthy and stable relationship: mutual love and respect for each other, great parenting skills, supportive families and a trailer down by the river(with a fresh coat of paint!). So, it's nice to see them thriving. Even Ali's projectile vomit couldn't rain on their parade. I'm going to start calling these two Sandy and Danny because I fully expected their groups of friends to burst out into a chorus of "Tell me more, tell me more" when they were all chatting at the barbecue.

• Kailyn's relationship decisions. Thank you, Kailyn, for putting the brakes on Jo's desire to have his happy little family back together. I'm sure it's difficult to resist the lure of 24/7 access to The Bank of Jo, even considering his terrible interest rates ("Pay me back double"??) but Kailyn made the right decision when she opted to stay focused on school, work and her baby. Now if only it would last longer than one episode.

The Bad:

• Kieffer's bragging skills. I'm not sure if he realizes it, but being a high-school dropout, taking a couple of courses at culinary school and having the ability to give enormous hickeys all over someone's "friggin' neck" do not warrant an award for "Man of the Year." Kieffer sure has himself convinced that he's a hot ticket, and maybe Jenelle believes it, too, but I don't think he's fooling anyone else -- not crazy Barbara, not the restaurant owners in town who haven't hired him despite his "impressive" credentials, not even the alligator he taunted on his first real date with Jenelle.
  

The Ugly:

• Chelsea. No, I'm not talking about her hair. Chelsea is an Ugly this week because of her googly-eyed ignorance. Every time she gets that ridiculous smile on her face when she talks about Adam, I want to just shake her. It's sad to see her turn into a pile of doe-eyed goop over He-Who-Remains-Inexplicably-Shirtless, but it's infuriating to see her lie to her dad about it.
  

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

• Are Megan's eyes and teeth unnaturally white, or is it only an optical illusion because they're up against her unnaturally tan skin?
• What was with Kieffer's "I just want y'all to be comfortable, you know what I'm saying?" comment and Jenelle's subsequent maniacal laughter? I felt like there were some drug-related innuendos going on there, but it was like an inside joke between stoners and I was clearly on the outside.

Quotable quotes:

• I'm still not fully convinced that Jenelle & Kieffer's alligator friend wasn't the animatronic feature on Hole 16 at the mini golf course, but I couldn't help but laugh at their exchange before going to see it.

Kieffer: "How do you know he's gonna be there?"
Jenelle: "''Cause he's always guaranteed to be there." ... or your money back!